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When I hear news of how Teresa Giudice is doing in federal prison, I imagine her as a castmember on Orange is The New Black. She’s staying in the same federal correctional facility in Danbury, CT as Piper Kerman, after all. So when Teresa’s husband Joe admits that she made him wait an hour to see her while she had her hair done, I picture her in Sophia’s makeshift salon. When Joe says that Teresa has a group of friends, she’s Red, doling out favors in exchange for loyalty, ruling with an iron fist and eventually losing power when she makes a false move. That’s probably not so far from Teresa’s life on the outside, considering how she ended up in prison in the first place.

Anyway Joe did an interview with Extra! He revealed that Teresa has women she hangs out with, and that she maintains her beauty routine, sometimes at the expense of her once-weekly visit with her daughters. My favorite part of Joe’s interview is when he admits that they haven’t reached a deal with Bravo yet for Teresa to return to Real Housewives of New Jersey when she’s released early next year. Joe says “The numbers would have to be very big in order to go back.” I hope Bravo calls their bluff and doesn’t hire Teresa again, but we’ll see. Here’s some of what Joe told Extra! His interview will air tonight. You can see a clip on Extra’s site. Joe looks as hungover and confused as usual.

How he appreciates Teresa now
When you have four kids, you have to stay strong. Her being away definitely makes me appreciate her way more, a lot more, and you know everything she did.

On how often the family visits
[The kids] email her all the time…every day, so, they email more than me. We try to make it up there every weekend and we bring her mom up every weekend.

On having to wait while Teresa had her hair done
She made us wait an hour to make her hair, to do her hair. That was a little annoying

On Teresa’s posse in prison
She’s got a little group she hangs out with and does her thing with every day, and who she goes to the gym with and who she hangs out with, and who does her hair and who does her nails… they have their little thing going every day.

On if Teresa will return to RHONJ
The numbers would have to be very big in order to go back so um, we’ll see… as of right now there’s nothing

[From Extra! Quotes via E! and People]

I don’t understand why Teresa would make Joe and her daughters wait an hour while she had her hair done. Did they come unexpectedly when she already had the dye applied? Did she expect a camera crew there? That whole scenario sounds fishy to me, but so does practically everything about these people.

E! also has details of Teresa’s exercise routine, which includes “cardio, bikes, weights and Pilates.” Their source claims that Teresa “Does not miss a day, she does it religiously. She is extremely fit right now.” So Teresa is hanging out with a bunch of friends, getting her hair and nails done, and doing pilates in prison. Such just punishment for scamming creditors out of millions.

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