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I swear, if I’d had my act together half as much as Greta Thunberg did when I was 18, it’d been over for you b*tches years ago. Greta turned 18 last Sunday. Clearly, she doesn’t need a milestone birthday to achieve anything given everything she’s accomplished in her short life already. However, in addition of adding to her many awards and charitable contributions to the world, Greta stuck her tongue firmly in her cheek and had a little fun with those who badmouth her. Posting the photo above to Twitter, Greta captioned it with the following:

Thank you so much for all the well-wishes on my 18th birthday! Tonight you will find me down at the local pub exposing all the dark secrets behind the climate- and school strike conspiracy and my evil handlers who can no longer control me! I am free at last!!

[From Greta Thunberg’s Twitter]

I’ll bet if anyone came to find Greta that night, she put on a good show. I hope she wore a dark hoody halfway down her face and set up court in the corner of her local pub. Every time some loud mouth came over she muttered some made up meandering warning about platypus overlords. Remember, this is the teen that schooled our bloviating soon-to be ex president with his own childness.

When she’s not delivering the perfect dismissal to haters, Greta is winning awards like the Gulbenkian Prize for Humanity and donating her prize money to those who are working towards sustainable solutions. And whereas I asked for a mustang on my 18th birthday, she asked the population of the world to do whatever they could to help the world’s climate. In an interview with the Sunday Times (that’s behind a paywall, sorry) Greta said some of the changes she’s personally making are to stop buying new clothes and stop flying places, relying more on Zoom for speeches and conferences. I appreciate that as much as Greta walks the walk, she also points out the ways she can improve herself. On a scale of one to amazing, Greta and I aren’t anywhere near each other. But she always speaks like maybe we could be.

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Photo credit Twitter and Backgrid