It’s impossible to even keep track of the asinine storylines around the “one year review” of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. For the past year, the British papers have been clinging to the review and gleefully announcing all of the punishments which will be handed down to the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. The entire time, Harry and Meghan have behaved as if they said their final goodbyes to the Windsor clan last March, you know? For all of the gleeful pronouncements about kicking Harry and Meghan out of this or that, they’ve continued to do their work remotely. They’ve made it clear that if it was up to them, they would continue to work for their patronages, and that they have been treated unfairly.

The press is still obviously clinging to the one-year review – even though they admitted the review was cancelled just one month ago – and now the Palace is apparently quite desperate to make some big show of force against a veteran of war and his pregnant wife. Not only that, the Palace wants to make the announcement about which patronages Harry and Meghan are losing before the Sussexes’ interview with Oprah. The sh-tty PR coming out of the Palace continues.

The Queen is to imminently decide which members of her family will take over a host of royal patronages – as Harry and Meghan tell friends they are “resigned to losing them”. The monarch has ordered emergency meetings with royal aides, to draw up fresh plans over who will take over honorary royal roles she handed to her grandson and his wife, as a show of support to the couple.

Buckingham Palace is set to bring forward a series of announcements before March 31, the deadline set last year for a 12 month review of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s decision to quit The Firm. A royal source said: “There has been much consideration for some time on these matters and they will be settled before March 31.”

Harry and Meghan – who announced they are expecting their second child this week – have brokered a deal for a “tell-all” interviewed by US chat show queen Oprah Winfrey, where according to friends of the billionaire media mogul “ nothing is off limits ”.

It is understood the couple will discuss for the first time their decision to leave the royal family, with sources suggesting Harry and Meghan were keen to bring forward the broadcast date “to make it appear to have in fact stepped down, rather than being stripped of their royal associations.”

One well placed insider said: “The Oprah interview has been discussed for a long time. Oprah had it in her sights since before she was invited to Harry and Meghan’s wedding and has been in discussions with Meghan about it ever since. It ramped up over the past year and now everything is happening very quickly. They are keen to get their side of the story out there and do things on their terms.”

Harry has told friends he is “upset” after the Queen ruled he should lose his honorary military appointments, including captain general of the Royal Marines which Prince Philip previously held for 64 years. Sources have tipped Prince William or Princess Anne for the role, appointments that would be widely accepted by the armed forces family.

Harry will also be made to step down from patronages of the Rugby Football Union and Rugby Football League.

The Mirror also understands there are “huge differences of opinion” around Meghan being forced to give up her royal patronage of the National Theatre – which the Queen gifted in January 2019 after holding it for 45 years. Board members at the organisation are believed to be split over whether to ask Meghan to stay on or accept a new royal patron such as Prince Charles or the Duchess of Cornwall. A source said: “There was great excitement when Meghan took over from the Queen but now it’s tinged with a great deal of sadness over her lack of action for the theatre and the industry as a whole which has suffered so greatly throughout the coronavirus crisis.”

[From The Daily Mirror]

“…But now it’s tinged with a great deal of sadness over her lack of action for the theatre and the industry as a whole which has suffered so greatly throughout the coronavirus crisis…” Meghan is literally being blamed for the pandemic. How dare the National Theatre’s royal patron refuse to solve the pandemic! What the actual f–k.

And this also shows you that we’re not dealing with the sharpest tools in the shed: “Harry and Meghan were keen to bring forward the broadcast date ‘to make it appear to have in fact stepped down, rather than being stripped of their royal associations.’” The opposite is true. Harry and Meghan have taken pains throughout the past year to tell the public that if it was up to them, they would love to keep working for all of their patronages, but they’re being forced out of those patronages by the pettiest, stupidest, most sadistic people in the UK. The Sussex messaging is NOT “we’re leaving of our own volition, we’re thrilled about leaving our patronages.” The Sussex messaging is “this is something that’s been forced upon us by nefarious forces within the Windsor family.”

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid.