I could have gone the whole year without seeing Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goopy mid-section on the cover of Women’s Health. She does have a nice figure, but lately Gwyneth has seemed… I don’t know? Thirsty? That’s what happens when you’re building a lifestyle brand on YOUR life, though. You have to show some thirst, because you want people to pay attention to how you’re living. You want to be seen as aspirational. And so it is with Gwyneth. We’re supposed to want Gwyneth’s body, Gwyneth’s diet, Gwyneth’s clothes, Gwyneth’s homes, Gwyneth’s life. Some highlights from her Women’s Health interview:

Her comfort with her body: “I believe in having sex and I feel way more comfortable in a bathing suit now than I did 20 years ago!”

Her routine: “My routine is the same every weekday. I drop my kids at school. I do an hour of dance cardio, then I go to work. For lunch I usually have a big salad with grilled chicken, and then for dinner I’ll have whatever I want. Most nights I eat with the kids, like, a stir-fry of chicken and broccoli or pasta or roast chicken and potatoes.”

She believes in being herself: “I believe, as cheesy as it sounds, in exercise, laughing, having sex, being yourself.”

Her diet mantra: “My food philosophy is: Nothing should be ruled out. I don’t believe in saying, ‘You’re not allowed that.’ If my kids want a Shirley Temple with the radioactive cherry in it, go for it, you know?”

Her romantic relationship (with Brad Falchuk): “If I’m in a relationship at this point in my life, it’s got to be a relationship worth sustaining, you know what I mean? I don’t have the time or inclination.”

[From The Daily Mail]

She’s so full of it. I mean, this might be her “philosophy” at this point, to not rule anything out and to be okay with her children eating “radioactive cherries,” but it really wasn’t too long ago (it was just two years ago!) that Gwyneth was promoting one of the harshest elimination diets out there, suggesting that children should be put on no-carb, no-dairy, no-meat diets/cleanses for weeks at a time. And next year she’ll have a new philosophy, a new diet, a new set of rules for what we should and should not be consuming. Also: how passive-aggressive and judgy is she being about cherries? Shirley Temples are a staple of childhood! How dare she judge the cherry!

Photos courtesy of Women’s Health.