Camp Middleton has always done a lot of complaining and explaining, especially to sympathetic and sycophantic biographers like Katie Nicholl, Robert Lacey and Tina Brown. Even those biographers, all of whom seem to have a vested interest in keen image-making, couldn’t hide the fact that Kate and Carole Middleton stalked Prince William like posh prey, and once they sunk their claws in him, they were never letting him go. Those biographers also couldn’t hide the f–ked dynamics which have always existed between Kate and William, and how Kate spent years doing anything to get the prize (Big Blue). I bring this up because we’re in the middle of yet another attempt to throw keen sugar on the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s marriage. This week’s People Magazine cover story is all about how Kate is perfect and queenly and Queen Elizabeth approves of Kate and always has.

The Cambridges’ wedding: Queen Elizabeth had every reason to be happy as she watched Kate Middleton and Prince William tie the knot in 2011. But she was even more emotional than expected. Courtiers have told PEOPLE that the monarch was uncharacteristically overjoyed on the couple’s wedding day, content in the knowledge that the line of succession — so fraught in the years following the checkered marriages of three of her own children — was secure.

They’re really laying it on thick: “Hearing from the Queen that you’re doing a really good job, along with getting support from your husband you grow in confidence,” a close royal insider tells PEOPLE. There was undoubtedly much that the Queen saw in Kate that day — and in the years that have followed — that remind her of herself. Although they are separated in age by 56 years—the Queen, 96, and Kate, 40, share key qualifications for the job: quiet stoicism, unerring discretion and firm loyalty. Their opinions on contentious political issues are never heard; their commitment to the throne is unwavering, and their public images are tightly controlled.

Kate’s princess lessons: Before she wed, Kate “had tea with ladies-in-waiting and briefings from private secretaries. People wanted it to work,” a royal insider tells PEOPLE. “And everyone has been rewarded with [the couple’s] efforts.” Alongside her husband, second-in-line Prince William, Kate is poised to enjoy a long reign in which she and William will carve their own path while honoring the traditions of the past.

[From People]

So not only is Camp Middleton constantly trying to whitewash William and Kate’s chaotic courtship – where William was constantly cheating on Kate and dumping her – but they’re also trying to make it sound like the Windsors were all so pleased that William married Kate. That was also not the case. Prince Charles hoped that William would go for someone more aristocratic. The Queen thought Kate was lazy. Everyone in William’s posh circle thought the Middletons were desperate social climbers. Even after William and Kate got married, the Queen didn’t think much of Kate.

Incidentally, my guess is that Camp Middleton is feeling a bit prickly these days, which is why they’re trying to get out ahead of the growing evidence that William and Kate are completely separated.

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