Last week, Lance Armstrong revealed he still has a massive attitude about his doping scandal. He still doesn’t understand why he was banned from competitive sports for life. He wants forgiveness but believes he fairly won his titles. His life is so unfair with only a borrowed mansion and Lancaritas to fill the day, you know? Lance also admits he’d dope again but thinks his “time out” should be over. (“Mom, can I come out of the corner now?”)

Just when I thought Lance’s sense of entitlement had reached its apex, law enforcement reveals he cheated his way out of hit-and-run charges. Lance spent the Christmas holiday in Apsen with his girlfriend (and mother of his two children), Anna Hansen. They hit some parties, and Lance reportedly hit two parked cars in Aspen. Instead of owning up to his (allegedly) drunken state, Lance let Anna take the blame. Here’s the lowdown from Page Six:

Authorities say disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong hit two parked cars after a night of partying in Aspen but agreed to let his girlfriend take the blame to avoid national attention.

Police say they cited Armstrong after the Dec. 28 hit-and-run but only after his girlfriend, Anna Hansen, admitted to lying for him.

Police say Hansen told them she had been driving home from a party when she lost control of Armstrong’s SUV, hitting the cars. But Hansen eventually told officers Armstrong was driving, and they both decided to let her take the blame.

Armstrong declined immediate comment, and his attorney didn’t immediately return a call.

[From Page Six]

Us Weekly confirms Lance was loaded. Anna took the blame because “Lance had a little bit to drink.” She didn’t want the press to destroy him over drunk driving. Anna now tells police she and Lance agreed to have her take the blame “ in order to protect their family.” Well, it didn’t work. Lance has been charged with leaving the scene of an accident. They won’t be able to prove his drunkenness, but maybe there will be other consequences.

Lance lied for many years about his doping. He doesn’t think he did anything wrong by doping. He’s perfectly fine with letting the mother of his children risk criminal charges so he can rebuild his marred image. And he thinks nothing of driving drunk. Lance Armstrong is a terrible person.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet & WENN