“The Rolling Stones, sponsored by AARP” still hasn’t gotten old for me (see what I did there!). The spritely Stones released Hackney Diamonds in October, their first new music since 2005, and then announced their AARP-sponsored 2024 tour a few weeks later. Tickets for the 16-date tour went on sale December 1, but sponsor AARP granted its members early access for the last two days of November. And what happened? Boomers crashed the site, y’all! A fleet of salt-n-pepper haired fans were left screaming “C’mon, start me up!!” at their stalled computer screens. Just getting the hiccups out of the way early, right AARP? The New York Post chronicled this inauspicious launch:

After six decades, the Rolling Stones’ oldest fans still can’t get no satisfaction.

That’s what didn’t happen on Wednesday morning when the AARP site crashed after tickets for the Stones 2024 “Hackney Diamonds” tour went on presale for members of the oldie org, which is sponsoring the stadium trek.

But what was supposed to be an early-bird special proved to be anything but that.

A message on the site read: “We are currently experiencing technical difficulties and are unable to complete your request. Our team is actively working to fix the issue, and we hope to resolve it soon. Thank you for your patience.”

So much for those senior perks.

Of course, the Rolling Stones are rock-star seniors themselves. Mick Jagger, 80; Keith Richards, who turns 80 Dec. 18; and Ronnie Wood, 76, will be a combined 236 years old when the tour backed by the organization once known as the American Association of Retired Persons kicks off April 28 in Houston, Texas.

The two-month trek — which includes a headlining show at the New Orleans Jazz Fest on May 2 and a MetLife Stadium stop in East Rutherford, New Jersey, on May 23, before wrapping up in Santa Clara, California, on July 17 — is behind the Stones’ new album “Hackney Diamonds.”

The band released its first LP of original material since 2005’s “A Bigger Bang” — and its first since the 2021 death of beloved drummer Charlie Watts — in October.

Reflecting on the 18 years since their last album of new material in September, Jagger quipped, “We’ve been very lazy.”

[From NY Post]

Yes, Mick, very lazy indeed. I only wish I were that kind of lazy! And speaking of, NY Post is also reporting that the Stones have already added dates due to the high demand. Chicago, Los Angeles, and East Rutherford, NJ (where New Yorkers will be going) have each gotten a second show date. The tour stops were fairly spread out to begin with — like they said, the band is a collective 236 years old, rest time must be carved out! — so I imagine these additional dates weren’t too difficult to drop in. I tell you, between the Rolling Stones tour and the Spinal Tap sequel filming next year, 2024 is shaping up to be a renaissance for the ‘70s and ‘80s. As in the ages, not decades.



Photos credit: IMAGO/Sergio Ruiz / PRESSINPHOTO / Avalon, PA Images/INSTARimages and via Instagram