Would you believe that the Windsors and British press are all still talking about the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s surprise appearance in Jamaica? Once the shock wore off, the Windsors and their media cohorts have spent much of the past week throwing a very loud tantrum. It was “insensitive,” you see, for Harry and Meghan to go to Jamaica while Charles’s prostate is enlarged and Kate is recovering from abdominal surgery. No, it wasn’t just insensitive – it was a diplomatic snafu, a slap in the face of the crown, because the Sussexes warmly greeted the Jamaican prime minister, the same man who fired William and Kate on camera in 2022, during W&K’s absolutely disastrous Caribbean Flop Tour. Please keep Will and Kate’s colonialist disaster tour in mind while reading these highlights from the Times of London – apparently, the palace is quite upset that Harry and Meghan would bungle diplomatic relations so badly. Harry and Meghan, who were greeted warmly and behaved impeccably, all without creating an international sh-tstorm of racist imagery wherever they went (unlike you-know-who).

The Sussexes flew on a private jet to Jamaica! It is understood that the Sussexes were flown to the island by private jet courtesy of Paramount Pictures, the production company behind the new biopic Bob Marley: One Love. The pair made a surprise appearance on the red carpet of the film’s world premiere.

The Jamaica trip blindsided the palace!! However, the fact that Meghan and Harry were in Jamaica at all came as something of a surprise at the Palace. With two senior members of the royal family recovering in The London Clinic, the Sussexes’ photocall with the prime minister of Jamaica was “not what you would call ideal”, according to one well-placed source.

William & Kate’s flop tour: It didn’t help that [the Sussexes] were happy to pose with Andrew Holness, who hosted the Prince and Princess of Wales in 2022. During an official visit to the Caribbean, William and Kate had a meeting with Holness. In an awkward moment, before his guests were even invited to sit down, the prime minister told them in no uncertain terms — and with the television cameras rolling — that his country was “moving on”. William pressed his lips together and nodded. The excruciating meeting with Holness aside, the trip attracted more criticism. During a trip to Trench Town, the former home of Bob Marley, the Waleses were seen shaking hands with locals through a wire fence. There was another colonial-era flashback when they travelled in an open-topped Land Rover during a ceremonial military parade.

The Sussexes’ trip was misguided!! The timing of the Sussexes’ high-profile visit as the guests of Brian Robbins, the chief executive of Paramount, was “not especially welcome back in London” according to one well-placed source, while another said that it was “misguided”. A source close to the King suggested that Harry may well have accepted the invitation because he is oblivious to the political or familial sensitivities of being pictured with the Jamaican prime minister. Those close to Prince William pointed out that he was “concerned with other matters”, not least his wife’s health after her surgery, which will require months of recuperation.

Jamaicans love Harry & Meghan: A well-informed source said: “Harry is beloved by the Jamaicans so they could have been a great asset to the Commonwealth if they had stayed in their royal roles.”

Fascinating and very telling lie: The late Queen saw the connection they had with the “family of nations” of which she was so fond. She awarded the Sussexes Commonwealth roles, with Harry and Meghan becoming the president and vice-president of the Queen’s Commonwealth Trust respectively. When it became clear that the Sussexes were not happy with their royal life in the UK, a plan was nearing completion for the couple to be stationed elsewhere in the Commonwealth. Ultimately, the offers were not sufficient to keep Harry and Meghan in the fold as working members of the royal family. They had hoped for something in between, to have the freedom to pursue their own projects while still representing Queen and country. But the late Queen decided that a “half-in, half-out” approach was not an option.

Freedom from raised eyebrows: Harry and Meghan stepped down from their official Commonwealth roles and the couple’s Netflix documentary series later described the group of countries as “Empire 2.0”. Now they are free to do as they choose, even if it raises eyebrows at the palace.

The Sussexes stayed in Jamaica after the premiere: And there may well be more to come. On Thursday night, locals on the island said that after a stop in Kingston the Sussexes moved to a luxury resort in the north of the island. However, bigger moves are expected in the US as the duchess is said to harbour political ambitions.

No coming back to the UK!! Back in the UK, there seems to be no way back for Harry and Meghan. Invitations to see the Waleses will not be forthcoming any time soon. Harry has also quietly been shelved as a counsellor of state — members of the royal family who can stand in for the King. When increasing the number of people who can carry out head of state duties to include the Duke of Edinburgh and Princess Royal, the royal household also gave a written undertaking that non-working members would not be called on. Many in the Palace believe that relations between Harry and his brother William are irreparably damaged. “Given everything that has gone on, it’s hard to see how Harry could ever come back into the fold,” a well-placed source said.

[From The Times]

A few things: “When it became clear that the Sussexes were not happy with their royal life in the UK, a plan was nearing completion for the couple to be stationed elsewhere in the Commonwealth. Ultimately, the offers were not sufficient to keep Harry and Meghan in the fold” – Harry genuinely thought he would be offered that kind of “half-in” solution, where they could live abroad (in a Commonwealth country) and still work for the crown. That was rejected by WILLIAM. And Edward Young. They continue to make it sound like Harry & Meghan just decided one day that they hated living in the UK.

As for this: The trip was “misguided” and “a source close to the King suggested that Harry may well have accepted the invitation because he is oblivious to the political or familial sensitivities of being pictured with the Jamaican prime minister.” Instead of embracing the power of the Sussexes’ grace, charm and soft diplomacy, they’re pretending that Harry and Meghan did something wrong or “misguided” by simply going to a premiere and being gracious towards local government officials. It’s not like they wandered around in neo-colonialist cosplay or greeted children through a chainlink fence, you know. Talk about misguided! Talk about oblivious!

Photos courtesy of Backgrid.