James Middleton is a grifter apple who didn’t fall far from the grifter tree. After crashing multiple businesses into the ground and wasting millions in investment through poor management, James is currently trying to sell turd-looking “raw” dog food (I don’t think it’s going well) and prepping to promote his memoir. Remember that? He spent much of 2023 writing a memoir based around his dead dog Ella. It’s called Meet Ella: The Dog Who Saved My Life, and it will be released in September. James announced the book exclusively to Tatler a few months ago and I guess Tatler is still trying to squeeze some additional exclusives out of him, because they published this:

James Middleton, the younger brother of the Princess of Wales, has revealed new details of his upcoming memoir – which will offer insight into his childhood with Kate Middleton, his time as a guest at royal weddings, and visits to the King at Highgrove.

The father-of-one will be releasing the tender, warm-hearted and sometimes devastating book, Meet Ella: The Dog Who Saved My Life, on 26 September 2024. While James previously told Tatler how the memoir would document his life over the last 20 years, he has shared a new insight into what readers can expect from the book. The entrepreneur has long stayed private about his sister, the Princess of Wales; but it looks as though he will offer some highly personal anecdotes about their life in the memoir.

A new, detailed description of the tome reveals the book will follow James through his childhood years as he grew up alongside Kate Middleton and Pippa Matthews in Berkshire with his parents Michael and Carole. The online description reads, ‘James Middleton wanted nothing more than a dog of his own when he was a child. Struggling to connect in the classroom, James would often take off in pursuit of nature and animals – adventuring in the Berkshire countryside, tinkering with rusty engines, performing locum care to injured creatures, and losing himself for hours to the outdoors. Then, finally, his pleas for a dog (made via handwritten letters to his parents) were answered.’

It goes on to explain how the memoir will tell of the ‘extraordinary’ bond between James and his pup, Ella, before continuing, ‘From their enchanting introduction when James was just twenty, to attending royal weddings and being guests at Highgrove and Sandringham, their journey is marked by love, loyalty, and unexpected twists of fate.’

[From Tatler]

James Middleton… spends time at Highgrove? King Charles’s semi-private estate? Highgrove is technically part of the Duchy of Cornwall (Charles folded the estate into the Duchy when he was Prince of Wales), but Charles still operates Highgrove like it’s his private fiefdom. Even when Kate was in good standing and, you know, visible, she was rarely invited to Highgrove. Unless we’re talking about the earliest days of William and Kate’s courtship? Possibly, but James is absolutely trying to make it sound like he’s still a regular visitor at Charles’s estate, that he pops around the king’s country pile for tea once a week. Please. As for a guest at Sandringham… he’s talking about Anmer Hall, the Waleses’ home on the Sandringham estate. I doubt James has ever been inside the main house. Anyway, I certainly hope all of those royalist pearl-clutchers say something about how tacky this is and how James is abusing his tenuous royal connection.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid.