The Princess of Wales’s reappearance, after nearly six months, should have been a turning point for the Windsors and the royalist media. They could have and should have kept it entirely positive and centered on the left-behind Windsors. Instead, over the past three or four days, it’s felt like the palace briefings and the British media is back to focusing a sh-t ton of ire, hate and weirdness on the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. For what reason? Your guy just took a selfie with Taylor Swift? Why isn’t the Mail doing wall-to-wall coverage of THAT? Instead, the Mail published yet another interview with Toxic Thomas Markle. While it’s entirely possible that our archives are incomplete, Toxic Tom seemingly hasn’t given an interview since last September? A pretty long time to stay quiet. And honestly, he barely said most of these words – most (if not all) of these quotes were ghostwritten for him by someone in the British media. I’ve said that’s been happening for years and I still believe it. Some lowlights:

He’s turning 80 next month: ‘I never expected to make it to 80 because Markle men never do,’ he said last night. ‘My father died at 61. I’ve had a good life and I am proud of what I’ve accomplished, but everything has been overshadowed by what has happened in the last six years. I’ve never been one for birthdays, but I know the one person I most want to hear from, Meghan, won’t be in touch. I would love to meet my grandchildren, but I would be happy with a photograph at this stage.’

He’s still yammering about how he’s never met Prince Harry: ‘When I reflect back on my life, as you do when you are approaching 80, that’s one of the questions I cannot find an answer for. Why didn’t Harry ever come to meet me? He has the resources to fly around the world – and does – but why didn’t he come to see me, particularly when people in the royal household like Jason Knauf [Harry and Meghan’s former communications secretary] were urging him to do so? That has never made sense to me. What man gets married without meeting his wife’s father?’

He’s in the same boat as King Charles! Mr Markle feels ‘deep empathy’ for King Charles, who is ‘in the same boat’ as far as not seeing his grandchildren is concerned. ‘I would love to speak to him because I am sure he has as many unanswered questions as I do. Neither of us deserves the treatment we’ve received…I have so many questions I’d like to ask Meghan and Harry. The main one being, why have they treated not only me but the Royal Family and the King so badly.’

On Trooping the Colour: ‘It struck me as very sad that Meghan and Harry’s kids are being denied the right to know their cousins, who look like fantastic children. The relationship between cousins is a special one. There’s a unique bond. I feel sad that Lilibet and Archie don’t have the chance to get to know their cousins and take part in things like Trooping The Colour, which is their birthright. They are getting to the age where they will start asking questions, as all kids do. At some stage it’s inevitable that they will ask their parents why they have cut them off from both sides of the family? They have two grandpas who want to see them, one of whom is the King of England. I never in my 80 years thought I’d be in the same boat as the King.’

He’s still harping on about the photos before the wedding: ‘The one thing I never imagined was Meghan turning against me at this point in my life. I thought she would always be there for me. Meghan was mad at me because I posed for some paparazzi pictures before the wedding. I was totally alone and being hounded. A photographer went to my daughter Samantha and convinced her that the pictures would improve my image. It was a mistake and I have apologised for it repeatedly. When you look at what Harry and Meghan have done since, like accusing the Royal Family of racism, it’s far worse than anything I’ve done. I don’t want pity and I don’t want this episode to define my life. I don’t want to be a footnote in history.’

Meghan is entitled: ‘The person she’s become isn’t the girl I raised, but I wonder if they blame the Markle family for everything that has gone wrong. She started to change when she lived in Canada filming Suits and was hanging out with the Soho House [an exclusive members’ club and hotel chain] crowd. She began acting entitled. Things escalated after she met Harry. It upsets me that the Markle name is now associated with negativity. People talk about being ‘Markled’ when they get dumped for no reason. That saddens me.’

[From The Daily Mail]

As I said, these are all British media talking points. One of the biggest and dumbest tells is “people talk about being ‘Markled’.” That’s just some dumb Meghan-obsessed thing made up by the Mail and the Sun – it’s not an actual thing that people talk about when discussing the Sussexes. This is also a gigantic tell: “When you look at what Harry and Meghan have done since, like accusing the Royal Family of racism, it’s far worse than anything I’ve done.” Nothing like a white father siding with his Black daughter’s racist abusers and then publicly gaslighting her about it. Anyway, I hope we eventually learn who is ghostwriting all of Toxic Tom’s interviews at some point. I also hope we figure out why the British media and the Windsors are backsliding into all of this Sussex stuff right now.

Photos/screenshots courtesy of 60 Minutes Australia.