In some ways, I’m glad that Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck didn’t “rush” into filing for divorce. They were very clearly separated for the past four months or so, although I think Jennifer’s moves show that she still believed that reconciliation was a possibility. But it was clear back in February that Ben had checked out of the marriage. His side has been clearly briefing about it for months, as has J.Lo’s side. Ben’s side is basically: when he’s done, he’s done, and he’s been done all year; he wants to focus on himself; he thinks this was all an expensive exercise in closure. Jennifer’s side is that she really tried and she hoped that they could make it work but Ben shut down. I also think it’s notable that she filed for divorce. He basically forced her to do it because he was so disengaged from her and their relationship/marriage. Sound familiar? He did the same thing when they broke up the first time, in 2003-04.

Jennifer Lopez approached her decision to divorce from Ben Affleck with great care, a source exclusively tells PEOPLE.

After the singer, 55, filed for divorce from the actor, 52, on Tuesday, Aug. 20, a source tells PEOPLE that she came to the painful conclusion that “it’s time to move on” for various reasons.

“She’s very disappointed and sad, but Ben hasn’t given her any signs that he wants to continue their marriage. He hasn’t shown any commitment and interest in making their marriage work. It’s gotten to the point that she just needs to look out for herself,” says the source.

Multiple insiders confirmed to PEOPLE that the star filed for divorce from Affleck in the Los Angeles County Superior Court on the second anniversary of their wedding celebration in front of family and friends in Georgia.

[From People]

“He hasn’t shown any commitment and interest in making their marriage work.” Yep. He was done and he waited for her to understand that he was done. He stopped trying, he stopped making an effort. It basically took Jennifer four months to understand that there was no going back. The big thing was probably the fact that he did nothing for her birthday in July and he closed escrow on his new bachelor pad on that day. Anyway, I’ll always be Team J.Lo. I feel sorry for her, even if she should have listened to all of the advice people gave her. When Jane Fonda is like “slow your roll, stop being so extra, this marriage might blow up in your face,” you should probably listen.

Photos courtesy of Backgrid, Cover Images.