Taylor Swift’s The Tortured Poets Department was released last night. It was a “surprise double album,” full of songs about Joe Alwyn and Matt Healy and… at least one song about Kim Kardashian. That’s right. Kim hasn’t mentioned Taylor’s name in years and years. Kim divorced Kanye West and she’s raising her kids and existing as the billionaire co-founder of Skims. Meanwhile, Taylor is writing and singing overwrought songs about how… Kim tortured her for years (Kim did not) and Kim bullied her at school (??) and how Kim’s kids sing Taylor’s songs (they do, and I bet Kim laughs). Behold, Taylor’s “thanK you aIMee.” Yes, that’s the way she capitalized “KIM” in the song title. The queen of obvious-but-pretend-it’s-subtext.

I figured all of this was not over when Taylor once again tried to rewrite “the canceling of 2016” in her Time Magazine Person of the Year profile. As I said in my coverage at the time, I don’t want Tree Paine on my ass, but if Taylor is going to keep doing this, so can I. Taylor said, in that Time interview, that she holds Kim responsible for her “career death” with a “fully manufactured frame job.” All because Kim exposed Taylor for misrepresenting one specific thing. That’s it. A fact which I wouldn’t have to keep bringing up except Taylor has spent the past eight years trying to rewrite, reengineer and reimagine it, shifting the goalposts and expecting her fans to do the heavy lifting.

As for the song itself… I find it overwrought, and knowing the actual history, it’s actually really funny that Taylor is still torn up about it. I hope Kim takes it as a compliment, that she’s still on Taylor’s mind all these years later. “I changed your name and any real defining clues. And one day, your kid comes home singin’ a song that only us two is gonna know is about you.” Okay but also… maybe leave Kim’s children out of it?

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid. Cover courtesy of Taylor Swift.

Here are more photos of Prince William on Thursday, visiting a Surrey-based charity called Surplus to Supper. At one point, they put William in the kitchen to make bolognese sauce with their head chef Mario Confait. From the looks of things, Mario was deeply unimpressed with Huevo’s cooking skills and with the Egg himself. During the visit to Surplus to Supper, a “volunteer” named Rachel Candappa handed William two get-well cards, one for the Princess of Wales and one for King Charles. Becky English posted a video of the interaction:

You can see how moved Prince William was as he thanked Rachel Candappa for her cards and promised to look after his wife. She wrote that the ‘whole world’ was proud of Kate, the bravery of her cancer announcement & determination to protect her children through this difficult time pic.twitter.com/x5cCaXNUCg

— Rebecca English (@RE_DailyMail) April 18, 2024

In the Daily Beast’s coverage, Tom Sykes bizarrely claimed that William was “ambushed with get-well cards” like well-wishers were running after him. It was one woman, and it was also pretty clearly some kind of palace set-up. Ms. Candappa even gave plenty of monarchist quotes to all of the papers. Even though I’m sure it was a set-up, William handled the whole thing awkwardly and Sykes also claimed that Kensington Palace and William are “likely to be irritated at the distraction as they tried to return to business as usual.” Oookay, got it – William doesn’t want any sympathy given to his wife and father with cancer?? And yet, William fully expects the dual cancer crises to be his “get out of work” ticket for the foreseeable future. Per Becky English’s latest exclusive at the Mail:

blockquote>When Rachel Candappa kindly handed Prince William two cards wishing both his wife and father well in their individual cancer battles, his emotion was hard to miss earlier today. Placing his hand on her shoulder, the future king looked the 71-year-old volunteer directly in the eye as she urged him to ‘take care’ of Catherine, saying firmly and repeatedly: ‘I will do, I will.’

He only swiftly changed the subject, I am told, when it became clear that Mrs Candappa was herself close to tears and the prince was at pains not to embarrass her in front of the cameras.

William’s visit to the Surplus to Supper food redistribution charity in Surrey was first time we have seen the heir to the throne in public following his wife’s unbelievably brave video message of March 22, when she revealed she has been undergoing treatment for cancer. He was typically chatty, genial – laughing and joking with volunteers – but physically you could see small signs of the toll that recent months have taken on him.

It is understood that William and Kate are both immensely ‘grateful’ for the space they have been given since her announcement.
The family spent the Easter break at Anmer Hall, their Norfolk retreat, where George, Charlotte and Louis were able to enjoy the country lifestyle they so love, as the ordinary children they actually are. Indeed, only the couple’s closest aides have seen or even spoken to the prince or princess in recent weeks, emphasising the need for them to retreat and regroup as a family.

While, fortunately, the King appears to be responding well to treatment and is hopeful of taking up more forward-facing public duties in the near future, recent events will have been a stark reminder of what awaits the Wales’ in the not so distant future. It is why, although his appearances today were both welcome and heartfelt, we should not expect to see a wholesale return to royal duties for the prince. Instead, I understand, he is likely to undertake one or two public engagements each week – often on the same day in order to minimise time away from Kate and the children – as well as continuing with his usual behind-the-scenes work.

He will, I am told, almost certainly take some sort of role around the 80th anniversary of the D-Day landings in June, as well as attending Trooping the Colour and the annual Order of the Garter service and, perhaps, one of the annual summer garden parties for worthy community heroes. And he will definitely continue to undertake investitures at Windsor Castle on behalf of the King over the coming weeks.

But he will also very much balance this with supporting Catherine who, we must not forget, is still undergoing gruelling preventative chemotherapy treatment as well as continuing to recuperate from her initial abdominal surgery in January – the seriousness of which should not be underestimated by anyone.

‘Obviously it’s been an important day [today] and one that has huge resonance with the prince in terms of his own environmental commitments, but I think you can expect to see the Prince undertake engagements at a similar pace to February and March,’ a source stresses. ‘The prince has always made clear that he wants to balance his commitment to public service and duty with supporting his family at this time, and he will continue to find a way to do that.’

Fortunately in this William has his wife’s backing, wholeheartedly. ‘Absolutely, it’s important to both of them, actually,’ my source adds. ‘June is an incredibly busy time ceremonially and the princess will want him to play his part as well. They share that same sense of commitment and service.’

[From The Daily Mail]

English ended up giving us more information than anyone else has for the past month. Kate is “still undergoing gruelling preventative chemotherapy,” which they were able to keep up even though the family spent the past month in Norfolk (and no one has seen her anywhere near a hospital or clinic all year). We’re also learning that they’re soft-launching the idea that Kate will not be expected or scheduled for June events, like Trooping the Colour. Only William is loosely penciling in some June appearances (D-Day, Trooping, Garter service, one palace garden party). He really will be the Work From Home Prince of Wales.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.

Alex Rodriguez has been fairly quiet the last couple of years, which I guess is good given that for a while there he was careening from unhinged to stalker to creepy in the immediate aftermath of his breakup with Jennifer Lopez. But he pulled himself together, even spoke graciously of J.Lo a year after their split, and has been enjoying life with his two teenage daughters. And that includes doing “a couple loads of laundry” with his older daughter when visiting her at college in Michigan. A-Rod recently confessed that was one of “less than five times” that he’s done laundry in his adult life. He made the revelation while touting his new partnership with — wait for it — Lysol. You could say this moment for A-Rod is where the irony met the ironing board. (This story is from a little while ago but I’m just seeing it now.)

One place you won’t find Alex Rodriguez very often is the laundry room.

“I’ve probably done laundry, as an adult — I’m ashamed to say — probably less than five times,” Rodriguez, 48, exclusively tells Us Weekly while promoting his partnership with Lysol.

With the help of Lysol, Rodriguez might be “doing a lot more laundry” than before. “What I learned was that Lysol does kill bacteria, 99.9 percent of bacteria, especially the things that make these uniforms smelly,” he adds. “So that’s a good thing.”

Rodriguez explained that he did a couple of loads with his 19-year-old daughter, Natasha, whom he recently dropped off at the University of Michigan.

“It’s funny, we speak almost every night, and a couple nights a week, she’s in the laundry room doing her laundry,” he tells Us of Natasha.

Rodriguez shares Natasha and 15-year-old daughter Ella with Cynthia Scurtis. The pair split in 2008 after six years of marriage.

Since moving Natasha into school in August 2023, Rodriguez has been open about how the transition has impacted him. “I think the first month is always the toughest because it is so strange,” he tells Us of the adjustment period. “It hasn’t been like that for 18 years, but now that the first quarter is gone … I feel a lot better.”

Rodriguez gushed that Natasha is “in a really good place,” adding, “She’s in the middle of a play, which I’m going to go watch her on Saturday, so she’s doing well.”

Rodriguez previously shared that Scurtis, 51, told him he was texting their eldest daughter “too much” after sending her off.

“It’s hard. For the first time in 18 years, I don’t have my two girls with me at dinner,” Rodriguez exclusively told Us in September 2023. “The good news is I get to spend more time with Ella. I guess there’s a silver lining everywhere.”

When Rodriguez isn’t spending time with his daughters, he can be found teaming up with Lysol to create “The Lost Bet.” In the video, Rodriguez travels back to his locker room to take on a new role as an equipment manager and learns how to tackle the stench with Lysol Laundry Sanitizer.

“They came to me with a great idea of celebrating equipment managers, which often are the unsung heroes,” he tells Us, adding that they “don’t ever get enough credit.”

[From Us Weekly]

Ok, I know we’re supposed to be eye rolling at a nearly 50-year-old man barely having done laundry in his life. But you know what? If I had the means to evade that particular chore, I would too! There are many things in this life that I am good at. Laundry is not one of them. Granted, I was trained by my mother who openly copped to her ability to “make anything gray.” My irritation with the task has only amplified thanks to it being 10 years since I’ve lived in a building with a laundry room. I just can’t get excited about the Sisyphean rigmarole, so A-Rod gets a pass from me on this one.

What really stuck out to me in this interview is what a sweet girl dad he is. He’s going through all the feels of having his first baby off at college, and it’s adorable! It took me right back to memories of my father when I left for college cross-country. When my parents first took me to the airport, I was about to lug my (huuuuge) suitcase inside when my father called out to me, “Kismet! Have a great life!” Many months later my mother told me that after dropping me off my father asked to go out and do something before returning home; he wanted to delay going back to the house without me being there. He, too, was lousy at laundry.

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Deuxmoi claims that Mariah Carey & Lenny Kravitz are dating?? [Socialite Life]
I totally forgot that Rooney Mara & Joaquin Phoenix are expecting again. [JustJared]
Personally, I think Kelly Clarkson is looking to make Brandon Blackstock’s life hell and ensure that she gets every last dime back (which he stole). [LaineyGossip]
Hopefully, everyone wants to repeal the Comstock Act. [Jezebel]
Hulu’s Under the Bridge is getting rave reviews. [Pajiba]
Stories about how mothers-in-law destroyed their kids’ weddings. [Buzzfeed]
Travis Kelce had fun at Coachella. [Hollywood Life]
Krysten Ritter used to be on a soap opera! [Seriously OMG]
Andrew Scott’s suit is hilariously bad. [RCFA]
Rita Ora joined the air fryer community. [OMG Blog]

Mindy Kaling is the latest person to post their American Riviera Orchard gift basket on Instagram! The Duchess of Sussex sent ARO strawberry jam and lemons to Mindy shortly after Mindy appeared with Prince Harry at a BetterUp conference last week, and Mindy posted a photo of the gift basket on her Stories. Good times! As we’ve seen throughout the week, the British media has zero chill about Meghan, ARO and jam. The Mail is currently scream-weeping about how Meghan is giving away jam to fifty people and she didn’t release a list of the recipients. They’re also mad that Meghan made jam while the Princess of Wales has cancer! Did you know that King Charles is also – GASP – selling jam while he has cancer? It’s true, and Richard Eden at the Mail was eager to point out that Charles’s Highgrove-branded jams have now sold out:

The launch of the Meghan Markle’s brand of jams has had the unintended side effect of boosting sales of the King’s own brand of preserves. The Duchess of Sussex unveiled the first product of her new brand, American Riviera Orchard, with friends and influencers posting Instagram photos of a jar of her strawberry jam. It is the first part of her attempts to launch her business empire and may have taken some inspiration from her father-in-law King Charles III.

His Majesty began selling products such as jam from the Duchy of Cornwall estate in the 1990s, and has continued to sell produce from the gardens of his own private home in Highgrove. And with the renewed publicity on the Duchess of Sussex’s preserves, Charles’s own brand appears to have seen a jump in sales from royalists who have done so in such great numbers that one item sold out.

The monarch’s Highgrove Organic Strawberry Preserve was shown as being ‘sold out’ on the estate’s website on Wednesday, hours after the launch of Meghan’s own brand of strawberry jam. However, there is good news for those eager for a taste, as more 340g jars of the flavour were put on sale for £6.95 each on the Highgrove Gardens website on Thursday morning.

Other flavours sold by the brand include marmalade, rhubarb and ginger, raspberry and blackberry, and English damson.

While profits from Meghan’s business endeavours go to herself, any excess money made as part of the Highgrove brand is donated to charity.

[From The Daily Mail]

They’re desperately trying to have it both ways – they want to say that Meghan is a tacky, jam-making hussy who should never have the audacity to create a personal lifestyle brand… and they also want to say that she’s copying King Charles and that he’s doing it better. Sidenote: I honestly didn’t know that Charles had a Highgrove-specific jam line. I know about Duchy Originals (the proceeds of which legitimately go to charity) and I know about the Sandringham food-and-alcohol brand, the proceeds of which I think go towards the maintenance of Sandringham, a privately-owned property. Who actually profits from the Highgrove line though, given that Highgrove is part of the Duchy of Cornwall?

Photos courtesy of Instagram Stories, Avalon Red, Cover Images.

Here we go! Prince William did his first “event” in a month today in Surrey. While William was seen last week at a football match, I’m not sure we should count that as a work event. Although William probably does count it as a work event, given he is the Football Association president (who refused to support the Lionesses when they made the World Cup final). I digress. Today, Huevo mixed it up at Surplus to Supper, “a surplus food redistribution charity.” He posed for photos while playing around in the kitchen and lifting things. My first impression is that he seems sober.

Much like William’s sudden withdrawal from his godfather’s memorial service in February, I think William and Kensington Palace underestimate the international coverage he’s getting right now for “returning to work after a month.” I’ve seen coverage on NBC News, CBS, USA Today, Jamaica Observor, and beyond. William is used to operating with a pliable and sycophantic domestic press machine, and if you ask me, he’s not actually ready for international media to regularly cover how little he works. He has not had any work events since March 19th, three days before Kate’s big cancer video was released.

So far, I haven’t seen anything about William mentioning Kate or telling people “she’s doing well, thanks for asking.” Given how stage-managed these events are, that’s surprising. Update: according to Becky English, there was a reference to Kate. Updated again: LOL, one woman gave him cards for Kate and Charles and William seemed downright annoyed that someone would “ambush” him to send well wishes to his wife and father.

You can see how moved Prince William was as he thanked Rachel Candappa for her cards and promised to look after his wife. She wrote that the ‘whole world’ was proud of Kate, the bravery of her cancer announcement & determination to protect her children through this difficult time pic.twitter.com/x5cCaXNUCg

— Rebecca English (@RE_DailyMail) April 18, 2024

Photos courtesy of Cover Images.

The slimmed-down monarchy is basically a skeleton at this point. King Charles is being treated for cancer and his events have been extremely limited this year. Queen Camilla needed a 10-day vacation after doing a dozen events in five weeks’ time. The Princess of Wales has not been verifiably seen by the public since Christmas 2023. Prince William is just… MIA, in general. Sophie and Edward are crushingly boring. All of which has led to the royal rota being culled, have you noticed? In the past year or so, suddenly all of those self-important stenographers to power are being sh-tcanned. Thankfully, the royal historian industry is booming, especially when they can chime in with commentary in the American gossip media. Speaking of, royal historian Gareth Russell told Us Weekly that the slimmed-down monarchy is not sustainable and that by the time Huevo and Buttons are on the throne (or whatever), it really will just be the two of them, trying to manage all of the work. Hahahahaha good luck with that.

The slimmed-down monarchy may not be “a mistake,” but royal historian Gareth Russell exclusively told Us Weekly “it’s not what was intended.”

“If you are to use the metaphor, the monarchy is underweight at this stage, it was never intended to reach the levels that it did,” Russell told Us while promoting his book The Palace: From the Tudors to the Windsors, 500 Years of British History at Hampton Court. “It was always anticipated that you would have [King] Charles III with three working siblings and two working children and their wives, and that that would be a sustainable footing for the monarchy going forward.”

In the past five years, the firm lost Prince Harry and Meghan Markle (the pair stepped down from their senior duties in 2020), Prince Phillip (he died at age 99 in 2021), Prince Andrew (his titles were removed in 2022 after he was accused of sexual assault, which he has denied) as well as Queen Elizabeth II (she died at age 96 in September 2022).

“So at the minute we’re looking at a monarchy that really was just holding it together in terms of the number of functions they had to attend and events, overseas visits and particularly their charitable and military obligations,” Russell told Us, adding that Charles, 75, and Princess Kate Middleton’s aligning cancer battles shows “the cracks turning into craters.”

Russell noted that this has sparked conversation among the British media about the possibility that Prince Edward and Sophie’s daughter, Lady Louise Windsor and Andrew’s two daughters, Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie, could be moved into senior working royal statuses.

“Otherwise it is unsustainable … At the minute, Prince William is the only senior working royal man under the age of 60 and above the age of 16,” Russell said, adding that two women royals fall into that category: Kate, 42, and Sophie, 59.

Russell noted that when Princess Anne, the Duke and Duchess of Edinburgh, Queen Camila, Charles begin to scale back their duties, “there is going to be a seriously underweight monarchy when potentially you would just have King William and Queen Catherine dealing with it, doing all of it until their children come of age.”

“The slim-down monarchy sounded a very good idea when there were so many working royals back in 2000, 2001, but through a variety of factors it is now something that needs to be rethought,” Russell told Us. Russell noted that when conversations about a condensed monarchy began, Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother and Princess Margaret were alive. “That’s how long ago it was,” he added.

[From Us Weekly]

Two parallel conversations need to happen in this space, where Kate and Charles are both dealing with health issues and William is… somewhere, not working. One conversation is: are the Windsors actually missed by the general public, is there actually an outpouring of sympathy and/or an urgent need to have the royals out and about? The second conversation is: with the core senior royals largely out of sight for months now, does that make anyone rethink the funding/money part of the grand royal calculation? As in, the British taxpayer can say: here’s what I’m getting for my taxes and support of the monarchy this year.. and it’s just Camilla neighing in church while everyone else has gone missing. It’s a pretty weird element, one which the British media rarely discusses – the slimmed down monarchy has become anemic and they’re barely doing their “jobs,” so why are the taxpayers still footing the bill? Why are they still being funded to this degree?

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.

Lupita Nyong’o & Joseph Quinn were honored at CinemaCon ahead of the release of A Quiet Place Part III. Lupita’s dress is Celine! [Just Jared]
Oh, wow: Gerry Turner, aka The Golden Bachelor, is already getting a divorce after three months. Yiiikes. [Hollywood Life]
Casting Jeremy Strong as a young Roy Cohn… magnifique. [Socialite Life]
Taylor Swift, TikTok and Tortured Poets’ track five. [LaineyGossip]
Apparently, “Beyond All Repair” is a great podcast. [Pajiba]
Kirsten Dunst is out and about, promoting Civil War. [Go Fug Yourself]
The trailer for Ti West’s Maxxxine. [OMG Blog]
Jonathan Bailey & Michelle Yeoh brought their beauty to CinemaCon. [RCFA]
Paul Rudd stepped out in NYC. [Seriously OMG]
More creepy & scary stories and some unsolved mysteries. [Buzzfeed]

The Wales children return to school next week. There’s been chatter for months about when Prince William and Kate would do public events together, but since Kate’s cancer announcement on March 22, no firm plans have been made. Everything is being kept open-ended, although “sources” insist that William will be “back at work” when his kids go back to school. Those sources conveniently forget about the fakakta school run, which is the excuse given for why William can’t do anything. Speaking of, the Daily Beast’s Royalist column suggests that William wants to be the work-from-home Prince of Wales and eventually King Work From Home. It’s getting weird…

Prince William is planning a return to full time royal duties beginning next week, combining digital ‘WFH’ digital appearances and in-person engagements to maximize “impact” in what sources said would be “a template” and a “dry run” for his future reign.

William, who had not been seen or heard from in over three weeks since before his wife Kate Middleton announced she had been diagnosed with cancer, returned to public visibility Wednesday with a social media post paying tribute to a leading female soccer player retiring from England’s national team. It was a carefully calibrated dip of the toe back into public life, and ongoing digital engagement of this kind is understood to be a key plank of his strategy for combining the unexpected intensification of his royal role occasioned by his father’s illness with being a “family man,” bringing a kind of “WFH” approach to the business of royalty as one friend put it.

While Kensington Palace declined to comment on what exactly William’s plans for the next few weeks are, and did not respond to questions about whether William would be doing more work online, his office previously briefed journalists that he could expect to be seen back in public again once the school term recommenced on Wednesday next week. The Daily Beast understands that this is still the plan and he will be making a series of in-person public appearances over the coming weeks.

A friend of the couple told The Daily Beast: “In many ways the next few weeks and months will be a template for his future reign because he will have similar personnel available after he succeeds to the throne, even if that doesn’t happen for many years. I think you’ll see him try and balance the demands of state with the demands of being a good family man, taking care of his sick wife and making sure his kids are doing OK. I’m sure that will mean doing more stuff online. He can ‘WFH’ and do hybrid working a bit. Frankly, it has more impact because it reaches many more people.”

Another source, a former royal courtier, told The Daily Beast: “William and Kate had hoped to have several decades as Prince and Princess of Wales, and, god willing, they will still get them. But what is interesting about the next few months is that William is being forced into a dry run at being king much sooner than he might have imagined such a thing would come to pass. Of course he doesn’t welcome it, but there will certainly be some fascinating straws in the wind about what the reign of ‘King Billy’ will look like.”

One thing that seems certain when talking to friends and advisors of William both recently and over the past few years is that he has no intention of emulating his grandmother’s model of doing several hundred engagements a year and being patron of hundreds and hundreds of charities. Instead, the goal will be to represent less causes but have more “impact,” to use a favored term.

But be in no doubt: if the last few weeks have shown anything it is that the needs of Kate and the kids will always, for William, trump the demands of state and charitable organizations. Kate is doing well, her team says, but if a conflict arises, William will likely have little hesitation in canceling royal engagements to focus on family.

[From The Daily Beast]

“But what is interesting about the next few months is that William is being forced into a dry run at being king…” What’s interesting about the previous four months is that William was asked to step up and he balked. He lied repeatedly, he and his office manipulated photos and videos, he showed up drunk to day events, he drank at day events and then stumbled over to a Welsh school, and then he kept on lying. He’s a 41-year-old man – 42 in June – who was a ball of lies and chaos for months and now he’s positioning himself as “this is what my reign as king will look like.” As for the whole “work from home” angle… QEII always said that she had to be seen to be believed. Charles feels the same way – that a king must be seen, must be out with his subjects. The future King Huevo’s motto is “who wants to day-drink on a Zoom call?”

Photos courtesy of Cover Images.

The Duchess of Sussex and Tom Parker Bowles have two things in common: they’ve both blogged about food and both are launching food-centric projects this year. Meghan is doing a California-based cooking show for Netflix, and Queen Camilla’s son will publish a cookbook called Cooking and the Crown this fall. Would you believe that the reactions to Meghan and Tom’s projects are being met with wildly different reactions from the royalist media? The royalist media has been in meltdown for weeks at the very thought of Meghan selling cookware. Meanwhile, the queen consort’s loser son literally used his royal connections to write a cookbook based on food served in palaces and castles. He put a crown on the book cover and “crown” in the book title. Obviously, this means that Tom Parker Bowles is sending a “message” to… Prince Harry. Because SPARE!

Queen Camilla’s son Tom Parker Bowles is bringing out a new book and it sends a message to Prince Harry after his damning Spare memoir, according to an expert. Food critic Tom’s book will feature over 100 recipes, from state banquets to breakfasts and behind-the-scenes facts about life in the royal kitchens. The book, Cooking and the Crown: Royal Recipes from Queen Victoria to King Charles III, is scheduled for publication in the UK on September 26, 2024.

Speaking about the book, royal author Phil Dampier told Fabulous: “Tom is very much supporting and celebrating the monarchy, and would never do anything to damage it. He is sending a message that you can talk about the monarchy in positive terms and not denigrate it as Harry did in Spare. Harry washed his dirty linen in public and that is something Tom would never do. He is the complete opposite to Prince Harry whose book was one long ‘poor me’ moan.”

Tom and sister Laura Lopes are Queen Camilla’s children from her previous marriage with retired British Army officer, Andrew Parker Bowles, who she divorced in 1995.

Unlike Prince Harry’s Spare, which revealed numerous personal details about the royals, including how William allegedly attacked him and how he labelled Meghan “difficult” and “rude”, Phil expects Tom to be “discrete” in his book. He explained: “Tom Parker Bowles has always been the soul of discretion where the royals are concerned, which can’t have been easy for him. As a journalist he is inevitably a natural gossip and he must have been privy to so many secrets over the years, like when his mother was going to marry Charles, and so many bits of inside information that others would kill for. But he has remained discreet and would obviously never do anything to upset his mother, who trusts him totally.”

Phil theorised that some may consider Tom to be “cashing in” on his royal connections by “writing a book about royal recipes”, but added: “You can hardly blame him.”

The royal expert added: “He’s not the first person to write such a book and there’s nothing to stop any other author applying to visit royal archives, you just have to go through a process. But obviously he can ask the Queen for a few titbits about royal banquets and events which others might not have access to. There are always going to be critics saying he is exploiting his position, but he didn’t get any choice as to who he is related to and whatever he does someone will carp from the sidelines.”

[From The Sun]

Just so we’re clear, they’ve now moved the goalposts to “it’s perfectly fine to cash in on your royal connections just as long as you’re dishonest and you never say a word against the Windsors!” That’s why the royalist media has collectively shrugged over Tom’s tacky exercise – because they know he will not spill any royal tea. In print anyway. Because despite Phil Dampier’s insistence that Tom is the soul of discretion, we can make direct connections from Camilla and Tom to Tatler Magazine’s shenanigans and to Giles Coren (one of Tom’s closest friends) and from there, half of the society gossip about the Waleses, the Sussexes and more. A mother and son who have Piers Morgan and Jeremy Clarkson on speed dial don’t get to play the “we’re so discreet” angle.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.