Sunday, March 10 was Prince Edward’s 60th birthday. He was out in Leeds two days prior, with his wife Sophie, the Duchess of Edinburgh. They attended the Community Sport and Recreation Awards 2024 at Headingley Stadium, and Edward was presented with a birthday cake (which delighted him). Edward has been doing more youth-oriented events recently, probably because of his inherited patronage of the DofE Awards.

Edward is the youngest of QEII and Prince Philip’s children, so he’s leaning hard into the “spring chicken” vibe for the working royals, especially with Prince William and Kate largely MIA this year. That was the (soft) focus of several birthday-keenery pieces in various media outlets. The Daily Beast’s Royalist column claimed that Edward “might finally be about to get his big break,” and sources insist that Edward “has dedicated much of his life to public service and charitable work. He has always been very clear about his role which is to support the monarchy. Previously that meant doing what his mother asked, now it means doing what his brother asks. He has always been loyal and Charles likes him enormously and is very grateful to him.” Sources also say that there’s little tension between Charles and Edward because Edward isn’t a showboat, nor does he seek the limelight and “He is content to be a thread in the tapestry.” Edward also made some on-the-record comments to Becky English at the Mail:

Edward on his support system: ‘Well, you need a really good supportive network in this and family is incredibly important. I am just very, very lucky that Sophie is a brilliant, brilliant person in her own right,’ he tells me, smiling from ear to ear. It’s worth noting that he is the only one of the late Queen’s children never to have divorced.

Edward travels by foot when he can: Although the prince drives during our day together, he is one of the few royals who often travels by foot – and even the Tube – to work. A friend who has holidayed with the Edinburghs tells me the couple happily go down to the local Co-op to get supplies.

His favorite hobbies: Edward’s favourite pastime is walking alone in the countryside with his beloved spaniel, Mole.But he is also, I am also told, a ‘demon’ BBQ-er, and can often be found outside in the dark at parties wearing a head torch and creating ‘truly amazing’ culinary delights – a talent inherited from his late father.

On his weight loss: I remark to another friend that the duke has lost a notable amount of weight, and wonder if he has embraced a new fitness regime as he approaches his 60s. ‘I hate to bore you, but he’s just remarkably disciplined. He is not a big eater or drinker and certainly not a smoker. He just isn’t a pudding man,’ they say.

Edward on the king’s health: When we meet, I ask Edward about his brother the King’s health. He smiles wanly, understandably emotional given how raw the news is. ‘We were all hugely grateful for the extraordinary support from everyone. I know he has been very touched by it all. He’s doing well, we are keeping our fingers crossed that it all goes very well,’ he says.

[From The Daily Mail]

Some people naturally thin out as they get older and some people put on weight as they get older. It does seem strange that rather suddenly, over the course of about two years in his late 50s, Edward suddenly lost a noticeable amount of weight. “He’s just remarkably disciplined. He is not a big eater or drinker and certainly not a smoker. He just isn’t a pudding man.” Like, I’ll buy that – he’s disciplined about fitness and diet, etc. But most people don’t suddenly drop that kind of weight if they’ve always been “disciplined.” Something has changed and maybe it’s just something as simple as “no snacking, no more cocktails,” but it seems bizarrely squirrelly to refuse to just say that.

Photos courtesy of Cover Images.

When Kensington Palace has lost the Daily Mail, they really have nothing left. The Mail represents Prince William and Kate’s power base: older, conservative, reactionary, anti-woke, anti-immigrant, racist. If those people are not on Will and Kate’s side, no one is. So I’ve been watching the Mail’s coverage of the Mother’s Day photo scandal and it is fascinating. They’re calling out the Waleses pretty thoroughly and in some interesting ways. Several of the Mail’s columnists have suggested or said outright that Kate’s “apology” for the photo-editing is bullsh-t and it’s just the palace throwing Kate under the bus for their cockup. Several of those columnists are basically begging the Kensington Palace clownshow to tighten their operations because they all look like complete fools. One of my favorite pieces was the Mail’s Liz Jones basically having a come-to-Jesus revelation that everything around Will and Kate is a lie. Some highlights:

Liz Jones saw the problems with the Mother’s Day photo immediately: “I rushed home to study the photo of Kate and her children, released to show the world that she is doing well and on the mend. But then…Hmm. I went outside to stare at trees. Blossom, yes, but no leaves. Another look at the snap. Her expression was a bit off. A bit too bland and a bit too happy. I would have expected, after a couple of months off and reams of speculation, a half-smile, something slightly wry. And why was Louis in a Christmas jumper? Didn’t the floor seem rather shabby?”

WTF was William thinking? “Ordinary people, worried and wondering why, if the photo has indeed been doctored, William couldn’t just take a bloody normal family snap on his phone and post it! We all do it, many times a day. We didn’t want or expect a perfectly posed shot, just a little something to stop us worrying. And we had been worrying ever since that woman was papped in a car, driven by Kate’s mother, last week? I for one got no sleep at all.”

It’s like watching Bambi learn to walk: “Given what is possible with AI and digital trickery today, isn’t it even more important for the Royal Family and its minions to be authentic and transparent in all their dealings with the public and Press, given we all pay for their palaces and their privacy? It is such a blunder, so catastrophic for our faith in the monarchy and I believe that, yet again, Kate has been badly let down by the Palace media operation and advisers.”

The lack of statements from KP about Kate’s health: “No updates beyond the bland and meaningless, allowing the distasteful speculation about her health and the state of her marriage to proliferate on social media and in the foreign press – New York Times and American Vogue – to ponder. Why could they not have simply released a photo for Mother’s Day of Kate from the Coronation, say, with a small note from her? That would have been fine. We don’t expect her to put on make-up during her hiatus.

Was it all a lie?? “Now we are thinking: did she even write the message that accompanied the controversial snap? And more. Why were there as many as 16 anomalies on the photo? Was the photo an old Christmas one, simply repurposed? The children certainly look as hysterical and excited as they would have done on Christmas Day. Why wasn’t an accredited photographer with decades of professional standing sent in to do the shot? Was she too ill for that? The Palace clearly can no longer be trusted, given what transpired on Monday morning when, finally, an official tweet from Kensington Palace arrived.

Kate’s statement: ‘Like many amateur photographers, I do occasionally experiment with editing. I want to express my apologies for any confusion…’ It is signed with a ‘C’. What??!! But Kate is not an ‘amateur’, she is an experienced photographer (She is, after all, patron of the Royal Photographic Society). And it was William who took it! She is a perfectionist and would never do a bad job with anything! Now, I don’t want to accuse KP of lying. But I think the Palace, not the Princess, treats the general public with disdain. The Palace thinks we are all stupid, and will never question anything the Waleses say.

Kate would never bungle this so badly: “I am certain that Kate, as a young, media savvy, empathetic person, who never puts a foot wrong, is never caught with the wrong expression, or wearing something that doesn’t quite fit or is creased, would not make a mistake like this. I believe she had no hand in this photo, or any mistakes made after. What we do know is that this debacle is fuelling even more speculation – even that she is refusing to co-operate with the Palace. Whatever is going on, I can only imagine Kate’s distress, her shock, her anger. And whoever is responsible needs to be sacked. Today.

[From The Daily Mail]

Such a rich tapestry of shenanigans, and I cannot believe I’m saying this, but Liz Jones is making some points! I also believe that Kate’s apology and signature were forged. I also believe that Kate was not the one creating a Frankenstein image composite. I also believe that William and his staff think that the public is too stupid to see what they’re doing. We’ll see if the Mail keeps this kind of energy for long, but it does feel like something has been irrevocably broken here.

Photos courtesy of Cover Images, Kensington Palace.

Here are more photos of Prince William attending the Commonwealth service on Monday, after which he attended an Earthshot event. Surprisingly, William didn’t look overwhelmed or like he had been in a blind panic for the previous 24 hours. Probably because he had settled on a course of action after he f–ked up so thoroughly with the “Mother’s Day photo” debacle. His solution? Blame everything on his wife, blame Kate for editing the photo and send out courtiers to provide a false narrative about what happened behind the scenes to create an intricate web of lies which could easily collapse under close scrutiny. Behold, the Times of London’s palace-approved narrative of how KATE screwed up so badly.

The image was the first time the princess had been formally photographed since her surgery in January. However, PA, Getty Images, Associated Press, Agence France-Presse, Shutterstock, Reuters and the Press Association “killed” the image from their databases, noting an “inconsistency in alignment of Princess Charlotte’s left hand”.

Yet none were spotted by aides before its release and information regarding the editing process was not believed to have been shared by the princess with her team before it became public. It had initially been greeted with praise by courtiers.

The first red flag might have been that the seemingly perfect image was shot in just a 40-minute window on Friday in Windsor, a source said. Time constraints meant that the picture had to happen once the children were back from school and once Prince William was back from London, where he had been attending an Earthshot event at the Oval cricket ground. There was only a limited amount of time because the family was also due to fly off to their home of Anmer Hall in Sandringham for the weekend.

The following day, Kate circulated the image to her team. At no point did anyone realise that it had been subject to an unfortunately clumsy attempt at editing. Looking back, alarm bells might also have started ringing when courtiers realised that it was William, not necessarily known for his camera skills, who had taken the picture. The time frame in which the image was taken would also suggest that, without editing, the Waleses had been extremely lucky for an amateur like William to capture such an engaging picture.

A PR plan was put into place for the image and its corresponding message to go out at 9am on Sunday morning. Within hours, theories were circulating online that the photo had been doctored. A shocked Palace assessed the situation and went back to the Prince and Princess of Wales. Kate confirmed that it was her and is understood to have thought that “honesty is the best policy”. She wanted to “own up” and acknowledge the mistake.

A Palace insider said that she felt “awful” about it and said that she had just “tried to make it the best it could be” because she knew how important it was for it to be “a nice picture”. They added that she was also thinking of her own children, hoping that they looked good for their own sakes. The princess released a new statement, apologising for “any confusion” over the picture. Kensington Palace refused to go further and explain what software was used in the editing of the picture or the way in which it was changed.

However, Sky News said a technician at the broadcaster had analysed the photo’s metadata to reveal that it was saved in Adobe Photoshop twice on an Apple Mac on Friday and Saturday and the picture was taken on a Canon 5D mark IV, which retails at £2,929.99 and used a Canon 50mm lens, priced at £1,629.99. The first save was made at 9.54pm on Friday and the second was at 9.39am on Saturday. It is not clear if the two saves were on the same device. Quite how it could have ended up to be such a PR disaster for the princess can, in part, be explained by the changes under way in the Wales household.

William and Kate’s Palace team is in a state of transition after restructuring. It has advertised for a chief executive but is yet to announce a successful candidate. The widely respected Jean-Christophe Gray, a civil servant and former spokesperson for David Cameron while he was prime minister, was private secretary to Prince William until he recently transferred back to government.

Instead, both William and Kate have new private secretaries, both well respected but new to their roles. Ian Patrick joined the household for the Prince of Wales last month as Gray’s successor. A former private secretary to Lord Ashdown, Patrick has an exemplary track record and sits on the board of trustees for the charity Chron’s & Colitis UK. Kate, meanwhile, has hired Lieutenant Colonel Tom White, filling a role which had been vacant for at least a year following the departure of Hannah Cockburn-Logie.

[From The Times]

As you can see, the new-to-the-job palace officials are thoroughly briefing the Times about Kate’s screwup and putting it all on her shoulders, but the Times can’t even keep up the facade of pretending to believe that no one in the palace “saw” the mistakes, or that everyone really believed the photo had been taken on Friday, or that the photo was taken by William. Lie on top of lie on top of lie. You’ve got to wonder how Kate feels about being thrown under the bus this way. Man, that actually does make me feel sorry for her – for more than a decade, the palace machinery has done the most to protect and coddle Kate, and now… they’re not.

Photos courtesy of Cover Images, KP.

The color scheme for this year’s Vanity Fair Oscar party backdrop was so weird and dated this year – basically a mustard-orange and a muted red. Basically, people who wore white really “popped,” and everyone else kind of clashed. Speaking of, Kim Kardashian wore a surprisingly great Balenciaga gown to this year’s VF Oscar party. I love the neckline, don’t hate me. Her styling is good as well – a sort of brunette Veronica Lake, with decent makeup.

Kylie Jenner wore Ludovic de Saint Sernin. Call me crazy, but I like this? She looks good. Don’t get me wrong, she looks like she’s already had more plastic surgery than Kim. But she looks okay.

Kendall Jenner wore Maison Margiela Haute Couture. I like this? It’s flattering and it looks like a typical Oscar party dress.

And the matriarch of this wretched clan, Kris Jenner.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.

Jennifer Lawrence turned up to the VF Oscar party in this vintage (1996) Givenchy Haute Couture dress. Thoughts? I hate it and I can’t believe this is a vintage piece from the ‘90s. You know what it reminds me of? The fact that Jane Austen adaptations were all the rage at the time and several designers pulled inspo from that kind of Austen-esque costume design. J-Law is only 33 years old and whatever she’s doing to her face has her looking ten years older, I swear to god.

Sydney Sweeney in vintage Marc Bouwer. Recognize this? Angelina Jolie wore this to the Oscars in 2004. It’s literally the same dress too – Sydney’s stylist arranged to get it out of archival storage and had to agree not to alter the dress whatsoever. I love that Sydney and her stylist stan La Jolie.

Margot Robbie in vintage Mugler. I’m not into this, nor do I think it looks like a fun party ensemble, but I hope she knocked back a few stiff drinks and partied.

Sandra Huller in Schiaparelli. Bonkers and very fun. She surprised me with some of her fashion choices throughout the season. She’s a bit offbeat.

Greta Lee in Loewe. This is fine? A pretty party dress, nothing more.

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Diane Kruger in Givenchy. What does this remind you of? To me, it’s giving Weimar Republic, it’s giving Cabaret. Hilariously bad and costume-y.

Kylie Minogue, on a sort of victory lap after getting back to #1 on the charts with “Padam Padam” last year. Her dress isn’t good but it’s colorful and fun.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Getty, Cover Images.

I don’t have one coherent theory for exactly what happened with the The Mother’s Day Photo Catastrophe of 2024. I’ve watched some of the TikToks and seen a lot of the tweets, and my best guess is that originally, this was a months-old photo which was recently and poorly edited, and they plopped an even older pic of “Kate’s head” onto the months-old photo to create some kind of Frankenstein’s monster of a Mother’s Day portrait. Then Kensington Palace arrogantly decided that everything looked great and people were too stupid to figure out what was done, and that’s when everything went sideways. One of the most egregious lies, in my opinion, is the insistence that William took the photo last week. Like, KP is still sticking with that as their official story, which is bonkers. In the past 48 hours, photo experts and professional analysts have come out of the woodwork to figure out what the hell happened here. Many of them have settled on the “Kate’s head was plopped onto this photo” theory too.

The digital fingerprint of the Princess of Wales’s family photograph suggests that she merged multiple images using Photoshop. Analysis of data embedded in the image indicates that a copy and paste function was used, most likely in the section featuring her face. The method appears to be confirmed by the clear horizontal line stretching across the Princess’s chest, albeit not exactly in line.

The “metadata” suggests that the photograph was taken on Friday at Adelaide Cottage, the family’s Windsor home. The first edit was made at 9.54pm that evening, with the second at 9.39am on Saturday morning. Data show that the image was saved in photo editing software Adobe Photoshop twice on an Apple Mac.

The photograph was taken on a Canon 5D mark IV, which retails at £2,929, using a Canon 50mm lens, which is priced at £1,629. The Prince of Wales took the photograph.

[From The Telegraph]

Yeah, the “merging multiple photos” or Frankenstein Photo Theory is a popular one and I think it makes sense. It would also explain Kensington Palace’s refusal to release “the original” photo, because their web of lies would unravel quickly, especially if this was based on a photo taken last November(and not by William). CNN got an MIT professor on the case and this guy says it was a Frankenstein image.

There are three types of photo manipulation, according to Ramesh Raskar, an associate professor at MIT Media Lab who’s worked on special photography and images projects for Apple and Facebook over the years: appearance, where the tones or lighting may change; geometric, which involves moving around subjects or objects; and generative AI, a more recent concept that allows users to write text prompts that generate completely new images. He said Kate’s picture appeared to have both appearance and geometric changes, and was likely not AI-generated.

“The manipulation in this image is very unique,” he said, noting changes that impacted the placement of her children’s clothing. “It’s unlikely that it was ever one single image. A photo editing app probably introduced these errors.”

He said he believes the “subtle” edits were done very finely, potentially with a third-party app or editing software such as Photoshop, versus using built-in smartphone tools. He noted that similar errors can occur if a user starts splicing and merging different images together. “It all comes from real pieces of photos, but it’s more like a collage.”

But even Photoshop is becoming less complex to use with the introduction of generative-AI tools being added directly to the software. Although Kate’s errors are apparent, Raskar said it will soon become harder to identify the authenticity of images. Image tools with generative AI will allow so much more than photo manipulation because people will be able to create images from completely new scenarios.

[From CNN]

All of which to say, this really is a f–k up on a global scale. Multiple global news outlets “killing” a palace-issued Frankenstein photo, an international audience analyzing how badly palace employees are at photo-editing, and worse yet, Prince William and his staff are too f–king stupid, incompetent and arrogant to crisis-manage in a real way. They really believed their domestic and international audience would eat this up and no one would question it. Now their credibility is gone. At some point this week, I might create a list of all of the things William has lied about just in the past two years, because it’s A LOT.

Cover courtesy of British Vogue, photos courtesy of Kensington Palace.

Jimmy Kimmel’s opening monologue was definitely not tight, but it wasn’t a complete catastrophe either. For the sake of the show and pacing, I appreciated that he mostly stood out of the way the rest of the evening. Yes he and John Cena had an extended bit before Best Costumes, but they both committed so fully that it was a slam dunk. I thought Kimmel’s very best moment of the night, however, was at the end. He came out just before Best Picture, with the show actually running on time (please keep the earlier start time, Academy!) to read a negative review of his hosting performance. It quickly became clear who had penned the scathing remarks. Trump ranted in his typical meandering fashion, and Kimmel clapped back in six succinct words:

Oscars host and late night funnyman Jimmy Kimmel on Sunday called out former President Donald Trump on stage after Trump insulted Kimmel and his hosting on social media.

“I was told we have like an extra minute, and I’m really proud of something and I was wondering if I could share it with you. I just got a review,” Kimmel said in the second half of the telecast, before pulling out his phone to read Trump’s Truth Social post out loud — while barely mentioning the former president and presumptive Republican nominee by name.

The post from Trump — which Kimmel read aloud — says, “Has there EVER been a WORSE HOST than Jimmy Kimmel at The Oscars. His opening was that of a less than average person trying too hard to be something which he is not, and never can be. Get rid of Kimmel and perhaps replace him with another washed up, but cheap, ABC “talent,” George Slopanopoulos. He would make everybody on stage look bigger, stronger, and more glamorous.”

“Blah, blah, blah, make America great again,” Kimmel continued. “Ok now, see if you can guess which former president just posted that on Truth Social. Anyone? No?”

“Well, thank you President Trump. Thank you for watching, I’m surprised you’re still — isn’t it past your jail time?” the comedian said, prompting cheers and laughs from the audience.

The evening marked Kimmel’s fourth time hosting the Academy Awards. Ahead of the show, he told CNN in an interview regarding Trump, “One of the most fun parts of my job is knowing that he hates being made fun of and making fun of him.”

“And then, every once in a while, he reminds us that he hates it and he gets mad. So, I love that. I take some pleasure in it.”

[From CNN]

“Isn’t it past your jail time” will live on in infamy, as it should! It was the perfect little soundbite. It was crisp, it had the right rhythm, it said it all. And the moment only got better when the camera cut to Annette Bening and Jodie Foster enthusiastically relishing and applauding the quip. While I generally despair over the likelihood of Trump facing his well-earned jail time, this was just the right zinger to add a little spring in my step (as I ambled around on the first Monday of Daylight Saving trying to remember what time it was). Anyway, well-played Jimmy. Thank goodness he didn’t listen to whoever advised him not to do that bit, as he told Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos after the show. Oh, it was his wife Molly McNearney who tried to stop him! Funny for us, possibly fraught for future marital squabbles. And by the way, Kelly and Mark gifted Kimmel with… a gold Stanley cup! Emblazoned with a caricature of his face! The big dumb cup won’t stop.

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Photos credit: JKP / Avalon, Avalon.red / Avalon, Getty

I’ve seen a few pieces already about people being “mad” about Emma Stone’s Oscar win over Lily Gladstone. While (again) I thought Lily came into the awards season as the favorite and she really had a shot at it, Emma’s balls-to-the-wall performance in Poor Things, combined with a great, breezy, fun Oscar campaign, all equaled a “surprise win” for Emma. All I’m saying is that I’m not mad about it. Don’t hate the player, hate the game. These are pics of Emma at the Vanity Fair Oscar party – she wore another custom Louis Vuitton look. This looks baggy and comfortable! That’s her very tall husband Dave.

Lily Gladstone changed for the VF Oscar party and I didn’t get the sense that she was moping in a corner somewhere. Reportedly, she was enjoying the parties, networking and staying booked and busy. Good for her.

Charlize Theron wore Dior to the VF party – this is so much better than her Oscar dress, omg. The hair is still a tragedy though.

Georgina Chapman & Adrien Brody – I can’t believe they’re still together!

Pamela Anderson was fresh-faced in Oscar de la Renta. This is honestly one of my favorite looks of the VF party.

Cynthia Erivo in custom Louis Vuitton – blah, but I rarely think she’s styled well.

Zooey Deschanel in kind of a mod-print. I like it, it feels very ‘70s.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.

Bradley Cooper’s Oscar date was, as always, his mom Gloria- you can find out more about mama Gloria here. [Hollywood Life]
I agree, the vibes around Robert Downey Jr. were weird last night. [LaineyGossip]
Yep, noticed this too – RDJ ignored Ke Huy Quan. [Buzzfeed]
Barry Keoghan & Sabrina Carpenter arrived separately at the VF Oscar party. You’re not fooling anyone, Barbrina! [Just Jared]
Full Oscar winners list – a big night for Oppenheimer! [Socialite Life]
Scarlett Johansson parodied Katie Britt on SNL. [Pajiba]
Tina Fey looked great at the Girls5Eva premiere. [Go Fug Yourself]
Lindsay Lohan was quizzed by Jamie Lee Curtis. [OMG Blog]
Daylight Savings is kicking my ass. [Seriously OMG]
A Southern Hospitality’s star before-and-after plastic surgery. [Starcasm]

You guys, what the hell is happening at Kensington Palace? I’m a broken record at this point, but the clownery is out of control and it’s absolutely bonkers to watch this unfold in real time. Not only that, it’s f–kup after f–kup, shambles on top of shambles. Last night, four major media/photo outlets “killed” the Mother’s Day photo of the Princess of Wales. Meaning, the photo was removed from Getty, Associated Press, AFP and Reuters’ sites and archives, all because Kensington Palace would not provide them a clean copy, and there were strong suspicions that the photo had been heavily manipulated. This morning, the Press Association also pulled the image too. Prince William and his staff spent roughly fourteen hours in a blind, likely drunken panic. Then they came up with a solution – blame the whole thing on Kate. Behold, the Kensington Palace Brain Trust:

Like many amateur photographers, I do occasionally experiment with editing. I wanted to express my apologies for any confusion the family photograph we shared yesterday caused. I hope everyone celebrating had a very happy Mother’s Day. C

— The Prince and Princess of Wales (@KensingtonRoyal) March 11, 2024

The “C” means this message came “from Kate,” which is debatable, given all of the shenanigans we’ve already seen. Their argument was that Prince William TOOK the photo, a photo of Kate wearing jeggings and sitting up after serious abdominal surgery, and now the argument is that Kate decided to edit the photo William took of her? THAT is what they came up with? More from Rebecca English at the Mail:

A source stressed this was ‘an amateur, family photograph taken by the Prince of Wales’ because the couple wanted to offer an ‘informal’ picture of the family together.
The Princess made ‘minor adjustments’.
‘The Wales family spent Mother’s Day together and had a wonderful day’

— Rebecca English (@RE_DailyMail) March 11, 2024

The family wasn’t together! William wasn’t in the photo! It didn’t look like an amateur photo either. Again, more questions than answers.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Kensington Palace.