Everything’s happening this week in royal gossip. We’ve gotten our first look at Omid Scobie’s Endgame, we got palace briefings on Prince Harry calling his father for his birthday, and we’ve got Kate making an ass out of herself yet again. Now add this to the pile: The Crown’s Season 6 has been released (the first part at least), and the palace is finally doing some complaining, explaining, bitching and moaning. I’ve been waiting for this for weeks – the palace is behind schedule, usually King Charles’s “allies” have already spent a full month complaining about The Crown before a new season airs. Please allow The Telegraph’s Vicky Ward to get the ball rolling:

The final series of The Crown depicts Prince Charles waging “war” on Diana, Princess of Wales, in the weeks before her death because she was getting more press coverage than Camilla Parker Bowles. The then heir to the throne is shown hosting a 50th birthday party for his future wife at Highgrove but loses his temper when Diana dominates the next day’s front pages.

However, Ingrid Seward, the royal biographer, said there was not a “grain of truth” in the suggestion that Charles lost his temper over such a matter.

“That’s just not him,” she said. “He might have been worried that Diana was intent on trying to eclipse Camilla but would have approached it in a different way. I think he would have felt sad that she felt the need to do that.”

The first episode of the sixth and final series, released on Thursday, shows Charles pleading with his mother, Elizabeth II, to attend the birthday party, saying “a public gesture of approval from the Queen would transform the campaign for Camilla’s legitimacy… Your attendance not only as my mother but symbolically as queen would be transformative for Camilla. She’ll never be fully embraced by the public until she has your approval.”

However, the Queen is cold towards her son and tells him she cannot go because she has to visit a Rolls-Royce factory in Derbyshire. “How can I possibly give my approval when I don’t approve,” she asks. “It’s nothing personal, I’m sure she’s very nice. It’s a matter of principle. Two perfectly good marriages, two perfectly happy families, have been broken up by this.”

Meanwhile, Diana tells Prince William they are going on holiday with Mohamed Al-Fayed because she wants to be out of the country for “you-know-who’s” birthday celebration. The following day, Charles is miserable because his ex-wife dominates the newspaper front pages.

“What’s the use of a few warm headlines when Camilla can be eclipsed by Diana at the drop of a hat?” he rages at his PR guru, Mark Bolland, whose job was to make the future Queen more presentable. “I don’t want partial, qualified victory. This is war. Only total victory will do.”

[From The Telegraph]

Charles threw a glitzy birthday party for Camilla at Highgrove in the summer of 1997 and he was mad that A) Diana’s vacation got more attention and B) his mummy wouldn’t come to the party and show her approval of his mistress? It actually sounds like The Crown got that right. While the institution cut Diana loose in 1996, they didn’t know how to “manage” her or control her post-divorce. It was a huge problem for Charles in particular because he was hellbent on legitimizing Camilla in any way. Think of how the institution is still reacting to Harry and Meghan, now think about what it was like for Diana, still living in an apartment in Kensington Palace, still being spied on by the Windsors, the government and the press, and still able to get global headlines whenever she wanted. Ingrid Seward is full of sh-t.

Photos courtesy of Netflix/The Crown.

In August 2022, Zahara Jolie became a freshman at Spelman College in Atlanta. Zahara apparently toured a few HBCUs and decided on Spelman in early 2022. Angelina and Zahara were seen at a “Spelhouse” event in LA, and Angelina was seen in Atlanta and on Spelman’s campus several times last year. Zahara is now in the fall semester of her sophomore year, and it looks like she’s officially joined a sorority – Alpha Kappa Alpha.

Zahara Marley Jolie-Pitt has gained a whole new group of sisters! The daughter of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt has joined the Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority at Spelman College.

Zahara introduced herself to her new sisters by saying, “My name is Zahara Marley Jolie. And [I] landed all the way from the Golden State in the city full of angels: Los Angeles, California.”

In a new video from Essence, the sophomore, 18, is seen alongside her fellow Alpha Kappa Alpha sisters. She dances as she introduces herself to the enthusiastic crowd.

The Spelman undergraduate joined the Mu Pi Chapter of the first historically Black sorority. Alpha Kappa Alpha was founded in 1908, with the Mu Pi chapter being established in 1979.

[From People]

Zahara introduces herself in the video as “Zahara Marley Jolie,” so she isn’t using Brad’s name at all these days. I wonder if she’s legally changed it? Angelina eventually legally changed her name, dropping “Voight” from her legal name in her 20s, I think. No surprise, none of those kids fool with their father at this point. The turning point was the plane incident in 2016. Despite Brad’s crisis management team crying constantly about this or that, his children avoid him as much as possible because they know he’s an abusive a–hole.

Anyway, I’m so proud of Zahara and I love that she’s found community, sisterhood and family at Spelman. I hope Angelina was there to see this!! She probably was – Angelina has used any excuse to visit Atlanta in the past year.

Ivies Up! The first Black sorority just gained a very familiar face as a member!

Congratulations to Zahara Marley Jolie-Pitt, daughter of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, who just joined Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. at @SpelmanCollege!

We see you and can’t wait to see all you… pic.twitter.com/nddw67amAm

— ESSENCE (@Essence) November 16, 2023

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images, Backgrid.

Word on the Mean Girl Streets is that Prince William and Kate are worried that they are the “targets” of Omid Scobie’s Endgame, and that Kate is especially upset because Scobie’s Endgame excerpts came out the same day as her big “landmark speech” about Early Years. I can’t stop laughing, because I actually watched Kate’s two-minute speech and there was nothing landmark about it, nor was it anything other than another huge, overhyped embarrassment for the Princess of Wales. I said yesterday that it feels like people are setting her up to fail, but the truth might be even worse: the palace, Kate and the media all feel like Kate’s “speech” was genuinely groundbreaking or important. Meanwhile, at the symposium (lol) Kate talked about what Prince Louis’s “feelings wheel” taught her.

Kate Middleton says Prince Louis is learning to express himself with a cool tool. The Princess of Wales, 41, revealed that her 5-year-old son and his classmates are using a “feelings wheel” at school to help them describe their emotions. Princess Kate shared the update while making her way into the Shaping Us National Symposium at The Design Museum in London on Wednesday morning, where she delivered the keynote speech. Before she entered the auditorium, Princess Kate spoke to host and British radio and TV star Fearne Cotton about the project.

“Louis’ class, they came back with a feelings wheel — it’s really good. These are 5 or 6-year-olds and going with names or pictures of a color that represents how they feel that day, so there is a real keenness in school particularly to get involved in conversations. It’s actually helping continuity across the board and then how does that feed into you, with your mental health — it’s same conversation, so to be able to find a bit of framework to talk about this, is very important,” she continued.

The Princess of Wales then said she was ready for her key speech — but admitted to some jitters!

When Cotton asked how she was feeling ahead of the address, Kate replied, “Good but nervous, but excited too.”

[From People]

“There is a real keenness in school particularly to get involved in conversations…” Lordy. For £20,997 a year, Lambrook should be doing more than a janky feelings wheel. Anyway, as many have pointed out, Kate constantly uses “feelings” and “mental health” as if they’re interchangeable. As if “feeling a bit down” is the same as clinical depression, or “feeling a bit nervous” is the same thing as clinical anxiety. While feelings wheels are great, I would have hoped that a self-styled early years and mental health expert would know how to speak about these subjects with more nuance and care.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.

Omid Scobie gave exclusive Endgame excerpts to People Magazine, and Scobie also gave an interview to the magazine. People Mag is parceling all of it out for maximum coverage, which is fine with me. The interview seemed to focus on the three primary male royals: King Charles and his two sons, and the relationships within that triad. William and Harry’s relationship is, by Scobie’s account, irrevocably broken. But what about Charles and his “darling boy” Harry? Keep in mind, Scobie said all of this before Buckingham Palace went on a briefing spree about Prince Harry calling his father on his birthday. Scobie even lends some credence to that story about Harry and Meghan sending Charles a video of Archie and Lili.

Prince Harry and King Charles remain in touch amid a painful rift between the Duke of Sussex and members of the royal family. Author Omid Scobie, whose new book Endgame is out Nov. 28, tells PEOPLE exclusively in this week’s cover story that the father and son are still speaking.

While the bond between Harry, 39, and his brother Prince William, 41, may be damaged beyond repair, the King, 75, and his younger son continue to talk. The division between the brothers widened following the release of Harry & Meghan on Netflix and the Duke of Sussex’s revealing memoir Spare in the months that followed Queen Elizabeth’s funeral.

“A striking difference between Charles and William when it comes to their relationships with Harry is there is still a warmth with Harry and Charles,” says Scobie. “With Harry, there’s a reluctant acceptance that this is just who his father is. He would rather have that in his life than to cut it off completely. Hence, when they talk, it is often [Harry] reaching out. And I was surprised to learn that even Meghan [Markle] has some sort of correspondence with Charles, sending over photos of the children [Prince Archie, 4, and Princess Lilibet, 2], although they’re not directly to him,” adds the author. “So there is a willingness there.”

[From People]

How is Meghan sending photos of the kids indirectly? What is she doing, sending the photos through the Lord Chamberlain? The Archbishop of Canterbury?? LMAO, I’m only half-joking, I think the Archbishop of Canterbury (Justin Welby) actually likes the Sussexes a lot and he would probably be fine with acting as a middleman to massage the relations between the king and the Sussexes. I think Scobie is generally correct about how Harry views his father as well – that much was clear in Spare, that no matter how neglectful, disrespectful and sh-tty Charles was towards Harry, Harry still loves and even adores his dogsh-t father. It’s painful to think about the kind of relationship Charles and Harry could have had, if not for Camilla and William.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.

It’s time for one of the most mind-numbing games if you’re a royal watcher or a Sussex watcher: tracing a rumor to its source. The reason we’re doing this is because Gordon Rayner wrote a truly bonkers piece in the Telegraph called “Charles and Harry are talking… but is a reunion a bridge too far?” I thought it would just be stating the obvious, which is that one birthday phone call is a good first step between father and son, but no one should get ahead of themselves. But no, Rayner has seemingly been tasked by Buckingham Palace to blame the entire days-long “will Harry call his father” psychodrama on Camp Sussex, as if the palace hasn’t been openly briefing about the Sussexes all along. Like the palace didn’t get called out BY HARRY for lying just last week!

So, if you’re keeping track: the BBC got a “tip” on Tuesday that Harry would call his father on his birthday. The Archewell spokesperson said as much last week, when they denied the “Harry snubbed his father’s party invitation” story. Then on Wednesday, the Sun got the “tip” that Harry had called and the king also spoke to Meghan. Then the Telegraph’s Vicky Ward got the tip that not only did Charles speak to Harry and Meghan, they also sent Charles a video of Archie and Lili singing happy birthday. The Sun and Victoria Ward’s pieces read, to me, like they came from Buckingham Palace sources, that Charles was extremely eager to use Harry and Meghan’s names this week. But please allow Gordon Rayner to make wild claims about how Harry and Meghan are apparently regularly calling up the Sun and the BBC to brief them on phone calls?

The phone call story came from Camp Sussex??? Is this really a “turning point” in the relationship between the King and his younger son, as the Sussex camp would have us believe? If so, why is Buckingham Palace so reluctant even to acknowledge that a phone call took place? Or is it just more spin designed to put Harry on the moral high ground in the ongoing battle for public sympathy? The fact that the Palace does not deny there was a call means we can safely assume that there was indeed a conversation between Harry and his father on Tuesday. That in itself is significant, because the two have barely spoken since Queen Elizabeth II’s funeral, and there was no contact at all when the Duke of Sussex celebrated his 39th birthday in September.

Sources in California?? Which leaves the questions of: who instigated the call? Why? And why did they want the public to know about it? The answer to the first part of the question is straightforward, as we know that sources in California have said Harry phoned his father, sent him a video of his children Archie and Lilibet singing Happy Birthday to him, and that the Duchess of Sussex also spoke to the King. As to the why, well-placed sources have confirmed that Harry tries to contact his father on every birthday, and is not always successful.

This is still the most idiotic rationale ascribed to the Sussexes: There are lots of moving parts in this particular royal story. The Sussexes are a commercial enterprise, needing to generate vast sums to pay for their lifestyle in the US, not least their privately funded security bill. Without their royal connection, the Sussexes are just another celebrity couple (and in the US the media has already given them that status) rather than having the sheen of monarchy. If they remain frozen out and nothing changes, they will quickly run out of things to say.

Overshadowing the Coronation Food Project! The Palace’s reaction to briefings about the phone call was telling. Royal insiders say that when the news of the happy birthday call threatened to overshadow media coverage of the launch of the King’s Coronation Food Project, which had been months in the planning, there was irritation bordering on annoyance.

The king leaks that he’s wary of being accused of leaking: “It’s a reflex,” said one royal insider. “The King and Queen worry that if stories about phone calls and private conversations make it into the public domain they will be accused of leaking to the press, even if it’s obvious it didn’t come from them. They just think ‘it’s in the public domain, and public domain equals bad’. Even if this had been the most positive story in the world from the King’s point of view, it would still have generated anxiety for him,” the insider added.

Maybe this mess is coming from Camilla? The Queen’s influence over the King can never be ignored, and she would have every right to be suspicious of Harry and Meghan’s motives after the Duke accused her of “sacrificing me on her personal PR altar” in his memoir Spare at the start of this year.

[From The Telegraph]

Rayner also suggests that Meghan is desperate for a royal connection (lmao) because she’s on the verge of launching a lifestyle brand (lmao), which was a rumor started by bored royalists who are obsessed with Meghan. Let me also say that the long-standing argument that the Sussexes “need” a royal connection has grown more strained by the year. Harry and Meghan are thriving, so much so that the Windsors are desperate for the Sussexes’ star-power, celebrity connections and clout. The Windsors clout-chase the Sussexes, not vice versa.

So, what is really happening here? Part of me thinks that this piece came about because there’s some confusion and disagreement in King Charles’s court. One faction wants to brief about the Sussexes as much as possible to deflect from Charles and Camilla’s unpopularity. Another faction thinks that it’s probably unwise to go on such obvious briefing sprees the second they get any contact from Harry. Whoever assigned Gordon Rayner with cleaning up the palace’s mess didn’t expect him to be so heavy-handed and obvious.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.

I’ve seen a lot of Sussex Squad grumbling regarding Omid Scobie’s Endgame, which has been exclusively excerpted in People Magazine this week. Not only that, there’s a lot of palace outrage, so Scobie is getting it from “both sides.” Despite the palace briefings, Scobie is not “the Sussexes’ cheerleader” and his sources are not exclusively Sussex insiders. Despite the Sussex Squad grumbling, Scobie is not focused on solely telling a purely sympathetic Sussex-exclusive story. The full title of the book is Endgame: Inside the Royal Family and the Monarchy’s Fight for Survival. It will be, I hope, a larger view of what we cover here at this blog all the time – the palace leaks and briefings, the poor management and decision-making within the establishment, the clownshow of it all, the fact that the ashy royals are struggling and unpopular, all of which has been thrown into sharp relief within the past four years of the Sussexit. While most of the people reading this post know the ins and outs of what happened, it’s great that at least one “royal reporter” is attempting to tell the larger story in a coherent and gossipy narrative.

As for the palace outrage, notice that not even unnamed royal aides can come up with a specific denial of what Scobie wrote in the excerpts:

Royal courtiers were last night said to be furious over the revelations about Princes ­William and Harry’s feud that erupted as the Queen lay dying.

Palace insiders tore into author Omid Scobie over a string of claims he made about the pair’s fractious relationship during a time of personal grief for the Royal Family. The writer, who was previously briefed by Megan for another of his books, alleges William ignored Harry’s calls as he ­desperately tried to get to the late Queen’s bedside. He said there was “no proof” Charles phoned his youngest son during his gran’s dying moments. And his book, Endgame, says of William: “He feels he has lost Harry and doesn’t want to know this version of him.” Scobie also said the Prince is convinced his brother has been brainwashed by an “army of ­therapists” in America.

A Royal insider said: “It appears no matter what happens behind closed doors, even in a time of such pain and grief, that where the Royal Family are concerned it will one day emerge. Nothing is off limits with William and Kate appearing to be this author’s number one target. It only takes a few months for the knives to come out again and the wounds to be opened up.”

By having an excerpt of his book published, Scobie overshadowed Kate’s launch of a conference on her campaign for children and their families yesterday. Royal fans speculated details from the book had been timed to mar Kate’s work, a point regularly levelled at the Sussex’s over events.

[From The Daily Mirror]

“Scobie overshadowed Kate’s launch of a conference on her campaign for children and their families yesterday” – LMAO. Kate gave a half-assed schoolgirl book report in which she repeated her motto, “the early years are important” and then nothing. The palace should be glad that so few people are talking about that idiocy. As for “It appears no matter what happens behind closed doors… that where the Royal Family are concerned it will one day emerge.” What’s strange about the Windsors’ sudden pearl-clutching about briefings and leaks during a time of grief is that they had no qualms about it in the hours and days after QEII died. King Charles, just hours into the job he had been waiting for his entire life, authorized a series of palace briefings about how he told Harry that Meghan wasn’t welcome in Balmoral, how “no wives” were welcome (a lie). William was on a rampage too. Go back and read my coverage of the palace briefings from the 72 hours after QEII died. Also: I can’t help but remember how William, Kate, Camilla and Charles were all completely GIDDY after QEII died. Kate and Camilla began raiding the jewelry immediately, Kate couldn’t stop laughing, Charles was thrilled.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images, Buckingham Palace.

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Target announced at the end of October that they’re limiting self-checkout to 10 items or less. There were mixed feelings online. Most people called out self-checkout for what it is: a way for companies to cut costs by eliminating having to pay actual employees. It’s all about the almighty dollar and those shareholder profits, baby. I guess the joke’s on them because due to a loss of inventory, several other big name retailers have decided to remove self-checkout machines or put clunky other measures in place. These retailers include Walmart, Costco, Wegmans, and British supermarket chain Booths.

Self-checkout, a history: Self-service machines were first introduced during the 1980s to lower labor expenses. They shifted the work of paid employees to unpaid customers. Self-checkout expanded at supermarkets in the early 2000s as stores looked to cut costs, and during the pandemic, many shoppers used self-checkout for the first time to minimize close interaction with employees and other customers.

Customers find them confusing and impersonal: ”Our customers have told us this over time — that the self-scan machines that we’ve got in our stores … can be slow, they can be unreliable (and) they’re obviously impersonal,” Booths managing director Nigel Murray told the BBC. Customers at Booths also frequently misidentified which fruits and vegetables they were buying when prompted by self-checkout machines. Alcohol purchases also were not smooth transactions through self-checkout because employees had to verify customers’ ages.

“Shrink” is a growing problem: [Retailers] have found that self-checkout leads to higher merchandise losses from customer errors and intentional shoplifting — known as “shrink” — than human cashiers ringing up customers. Shrink has been a growing problem for retailers, who have blamed shoplifting for the increase and called for tougher penalties. But retailers’ self-checkout strategies have also contributed to their shrink problems. One study of retailers in the United States, Britain and other European countries found that companies with self-checkout lanes and apps had a loss rate of about 4%, more than double the industry average.

Costco management said this year that shrink increased “in part we believe due to the rollout of self-checkout.” Five Below, the discount toy retailer, said that shrink at stores with more self-checkout lanes was higher. The company plans to increase the number of staffed cash registers in new locations.

User error and technology mishaps: Some products have multiple barcodes or barcodes that don’t scan properly with self-checkout technology. Produce, including fruit and meat, typically needs to be weighed and manually entered into the system using a code. Customers may type in the wrong code by accident. Other times shoppers won’t hear the “beep” confirming an item has been scanned properly.

Some customers pull funny business: Other customers take advantage of the lax oversight at self-checkout aisles and have developed techniques for stealing. Common tactics include not scanning an item, swapping a cheaper item (bananas) for a more expensive one (steak), scanning counterfeit barcodes attached to their wrists or properly scanning everything and then walking out without paying.

Solutions are still causing problems: Stores have tried to limit losses by tightening self-checkout security features, such as adding weight sensors. But additional anti-theft measures also lead to more frustrating “unexpected item in the bagging area” errors, requiring employees to intervene.

[From CNN]

I guess it’s more profitable to hire (and underpay) employees after all. It’s funny, though, because as I read through that article, I found myself nodding along with a lot of the issues they were talking about with the self-checkout process. There have been plenty of times when I put a reusable bag down and had to get an employee to clear the screen for me because it triggered the weight or my transaction was held up for a minute or so because someone needed to come over and check my ID to buy beer.

Personally, I really don’t mind self-checkout because I actually like the impersonalness of it. I listen to podcasts while I shop and feel rude going up to the registers with earbuds, even if I’ve pressed pause. The lines also tend to move a little quicker since there are anywhere between four and ten machines, depending on the store. I think the mobile pickup orders are a good compromise for people like me and keeping workers employed. I do find it amusing, though, that the same companies that complained post-2020 that “nobody wants to work anymore” are now getting bit in the butt by measures they implemented for the purpose of not having workers anymore. Oh well, too bad, so sad.

Photos credit: Jim West / ImageBROKER / Avalon, Filmsbyjosh / BACKGRID and Getty

TV shows make “life coach” sound like a cool, glamorous job, but I would imagine that most life coaches are either hustlers or glorified cheerleaders. By “cheerleaders,” I mean people who are good at hyping someone up, recognizing someone’s achievements, a friendly, positive sort of associate. Very few life coaches are actually trained and certified therapists in any way. Well, SZA found that out the hard way – this poor woman thought she was talking to a therapist but nothing was getting better. Turns out, she was seeing a life coach.

Life coaching is not the same as therapy, and SZA learned that the hard way. In a new cover story interview for WSJ. Magazine’s November Innovator’s issue, the 33-year-old R&B superstar opened up about how she deals with difficult emotions, noting that she’s tried hypnotherapy, talk therapy, psychiatry and acupuncture.

One time, however, she accidentally saw a life coach thinking they were a therapist. The unofficial counselor taught her about box breathing as a method for lessening anxiety, but SZA grew frustrated as the exercise didn’t help.

“After I had box breathed myself for three months and didn’t get better, I called her in a f—ing frenzy like, ‘I’m about to commit myself to an institution today, I need help!’ I said, ‘What form of therapy do you do? DBT?’” she told the publication, referencing dialectical behavior therapy. SZA continued, “She was like, ‘I don’t have a clinical form of therapy because I’m not a licensed therapist, honey. I thought you knew that.’ It turns out she was not a board-certified therapist. She was a f—ing life coach.”

There are several major differences between the two practices — mainly that life coaching does not require a medical degree and therapy does, though many coaches still undergo training.

“Unlike psychotherapy, coaching aims to help people who are already functioning at ordinary or even higher levels work through emotional discomfort and make additional gains,” wrote Yael Schonbrun and Brad Stulberg for The Washington Post in 2022. “A coach can help you perform better physically, emotionally, professionally, socially or athletically, depending on the specialty.”

[From People]

No, but really, I imagine so many people make that mistake and life coaches encourage people to make that mistake. It reminds me of Gwyneth Paltrow’s merry band of pseudoscientists. She’ll say sh-t like “Dr. Mumbojumbo claims that these stickers will heal a brain tumor” and the doctor in question has a PhD in ‘crystal therapy’. Basically, before you go into therapy, make sure you’re actually seeing a psychiatrist, psychologist or licensed therapist. Poor SZA! She’s not going to be signing up for BetterUp anytime soon.

Cover courtesy of WSJ. Magazine, additional photos courtesy of Cover Images & Avalon Red.

A few weeks ago, a study came out that concluded that ultra processed foods (UPF) are likely as addictive as alcohol and cigarettes. I don’t think anyone was surprised by those findings and many of you shared personal anecdotes about your own experiences with UPF (and red dye no. 3). I think it’s widely understood that UPF are addictive and can have really negative effects on your overall, long-term health.

However, a new international study has found that while regularly eating animal products and sugary drinks raise your risk of developing cancer, heart disease, and diabetes, certain ultra-processed foods may actually reduce the risk of disease. These foods include bread and cereals that contain fiber. While the study does affirm that ultra-processed foods (UPF) are harmful overall, it takes a more “Well, actually…” approach by labeling foods as “Bad but not that bad” and “Holy multimorbidity alarm, Batman!” This ping pong game of survey results is truly all over the place.

Not all UPF are created equal: Experts said the findings showed that regarding all UPF products as bad for health is unwise and unwarranted. Bread and cereals actually reduce someone’s risk of [multimortality] – because they contain fibre – despite also being ultra-processed foods (UPF), the researchers concluded.

UPF that aren’t associated with multimorbidity: Sauces, spreads and condiments are also bad for human health, but not as much as animal products and soft drinks. However, several other major types of UPF previously seen as harmful: sweets and desserts, ready meals, savoury snacks and plant-based alternatives to meat products also got the all-clear. They are “not associated with risk of multimorbidity”, said the authors. The term “multimorbidity” is when someone has at least two life-shortening diseases at the same time.

But, they’re still bad for you: Like several other recent research projects, the new study did conclude that UPF harms human health and makes it more likely that someone who consumes a lot of it would suffer a potentially fatal event, such as a heart attack or stroke. However, it also gives a more detailed picture of exactly which UPF products do and do not heighten that risk.

Look, they’re not all bad, but if you want to avoid disease, don’t eat them: The latest study is based on an analysis of the dietary history of, and illnesses experienced by, 266,666 people in seven European countries, including the UK. The authors said: “In this multinational European prospective cohort study, we found that higher consumption of UPF was associated with a higher risk of multimorbidity of cancer and cardiometabolic diseases.” People keen to lower their risk should replace some but not all UPF in their diet with “similar but less processed foods … for the prevention of cancer and cardiometabolic multimorbidity” or follow the Mediterranean diet, they said.

Finally, someone brings up moderation: Heinz Freisling, a co-author of the paper and expert at the World Health Organization’s cancer research agency IARC, which also collaborated on the study, said: “Our study emphasises that it is not necessary to completely avoid ultra-processed foods; rather, their consumption should be limited, and preference be given to fresh or minimally processed foods.”

Access to fresh and less-processed foods is necessary: The acute concern that has built up around UPF in recent months has been exacerbated by the fact that 50%-60% of total energy intake in some high-income countries comes from UPF, rather than freshly prepared dishes. Reynalda Cordova, who led the study and works at both IARC and the University of Vienna, said the study had shown that consumers need to have easy access to fresh and less-processed foods.

Well, actually, the definition of UPF is too broad: Dr Ian Johnson, a nutrition researcher and emeritus fellow at the Quadram Institute, said the study had shed useful light on what types of UPF were and were not harmful. “These observations do suggest a role for some UPF in the onset of multiple chronic disease. But they also show that the common assumption that all UPF foods are linked to adverse health events is probably wrong.”

Dr Duane Mellor, a senior lecturer at Aston University’s medical school, concurred. “The concept of ultra-processed foods is too broad,” he said.

[From The Guardian]

Well, dang, that is a lot of words to say, “Pick Cheerios over Fruit Loops.” Who paid for this survey? Big UPF? It’s wild that the bar has been lowered to “it’s not as bad if it can only potentially give you just one life-threatening condition instead of two!” I will think about that the next time I open a bag of Ruffles. Seriously, though, I don’t know of any health professional out there that wouldn’t say to avoid processed foods as much as you can. If you’re healthy, then it’s generally all about moderation and understanding what your body can and cannot take.

One other thing that stood out to me was how they go out of their way to mention that a majority of people living in wealthier countries are picking UPF over fresh foods. Just throwing this out there, but maybe these studies should take the extreme wealth gaps within these countries into consideration. We’d all be more likely to eat better if fresh foods were affordable and accessible to everyone.

Photos credit: Mart Production, Mizuno K, Anastasia Shuraeva, Ekaterina Bolovtsova and Tima Miroshnichenko on Pexels

Margot Robbie wore a (ghastly) Schiaparelli gown to the Saltburn premiere. Robbie’s LuckyChap produced Saltburn. [RCFA]
Andre 3000 has a new album coming out soon! [LaineyGossip]
Taika Waititi, Rita Ora & Michael Fassbender came out for the Next Goal Wins premiere. Fassy’s suit is awful, my God. [Just Jared]
Is Bianca Censori getting some distance from Kanye West? [Pajiba]
Is Kylie Jenner wearing pants or tights? A question for our time. [Go Fug Yourself]
Tom Ford’s thought process about designing men’s underwear. [OMG Blog]
Jill Dillard is praising Michelle Duggar, hm. [Starcasm]
Young Sheldon is ending this season. [Seriously OMG]
Ethan Slater & Ariana Grande are still happening. [Hollywood Life]
Nurse Blake is the new hot comedian? [Socialite Life]
Millennials share the dumb advice their parents gave them. [Buzzfeed]