Are you guys good neighbors? I’m not. Well, I’m not a bad neighbor, per se, but I only regularly speak to one of my neighbors, an elderly widow. We chat all the time and she’s got tons of neighborhood tea. I have spoken to another neighbor a few times and we’re on “waving at a distance” friendliness now, but I’ve truly never spoken to the family who lives on one side of my house, nor have I ever spoken to anyone else in the neighborhood. I mind my business and expect other people to do the same! And I don’t even live in some fancy gated community with eight-figure homes, like Prince Harry and Meghan. The Sussexes live in their lovely, 8392-bathroomed Montecito mansion, where they maintain tight security. I would imagine they aren’t stopping by their neighbors’ mansions unannounced, nor would they appreciate it if one of their neighbors stopped by without calling. That’s exactly what happened in 2020, apparently – one of their neighbors stopped by and security stopped him and asked him to go. Now the dude is getting his fifteen minutes.

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s security guards have been accused of rudely brushing off an elderly neighbor after moving into their mansion in Montecito, Calif., in 2020. Frank McGinity, an 88-year-old US Navy veteran, who lives close by the Duke and Duchess of Sussex claimed that he approached their home soon after they moved in to gift them some films he has made about the history of the area. He recalled the alleged exchange in a chapter of his memoir, “Get Off Your Street.”

“I have a big house next to Harry and Meghan’s property and I live in the guest house while renting the main house out on Airbnb,” he said, according to the Montecito Journal via the Independent.

“Harry and Meghan live on old McCormick property and I went up to their gate with the films on a CD, but they weren’t interested,” he claimed, adding that the couple’s security guard turned him away. “The gate guy turned me away and wouldn’t take the film, just saying ‘they’re not interested.’ I was trying to be neighborly. We don’t see them very much around here. It’s surprising they came here. People are typically older. It’s where the elephants come to die.”

McGinity said he lives a “tiara’s toss or two” from the Sussexes’ property.

The California-based royals moved into the property in July 2020 with their son, Prince Archie, 4. The couple welcomed a daughter, Princess Lilibet, two years later. Page Six exclusively reported that they paid $14,650,000 for the 18,000-square-foot home, which features rose gardens, century-old olive trees, a tennis court, a tea house, children’s cottage and a pool. It also has a two-bedroom guest cottage.

[From Page Six]

I mean… considering what we know about the security threats against Harry and Meghan, as well as what we know about the operations of the British media, I would think that their security would turn away every single person who got close to their property. This is one of the ritziest neighborhoods in America – it’s not the kind of community where neighbors “drop by” unannounced, especially complete f–king strangers. Considering this guy wrote about it, I can only imagine what he stories he would have sold about the Sussexes if they had let him in.

PS… I love all the details about their home. They really invested in a great property. What’s also great about the Sussexes’ Montecito Mansion is how their smart real estate investment has made Salt Island seethe for three full years. I still believe that William and Kate’s real estate hysteria is mostly about the fact that the Sussexes’ house is so nice and “grand.”

Photos courtesy of Backgrid.

If you’re over a certain age, this whole gossip miscommunication went over your head, but the younger people found it confusing. Earlier this year, Ariana Grande dumped her husband, Dalton Gomez, a real estate broker or something. We learned last week that Ariana is now seeing her married costar Ethan Slater. They met while filming Wicked in England. Slater is best known as a Broadway actor, and in 2018, he was nominated for a Tony Award for playing the title role in the SpongeBob SquarePants musical on Broadway. Slater is not the same actor who voices SpongeBob on the cartoon. That actor’s name is Tom Kenny, and Kenny’s wife wants everyone to know that Ariana Grande did not steal her man. Speaking of:

Ethan Slater’s estranged wife Lilly Jay is “devastated” by the news that he and his Wicked co-star Ariana Grande are dating.

A source close to Jay tells ET she’s “devastated” by the breakup with her husband and that “this is not the future she had in mind.” The source adds, “She’s doing her best to get back on her feet. She’s incredibly smart and driven” and “she is truly the best mother.”

Slater married Jay, his former high school classmate, in 2018. The couple welcomed their first child, a son, last year. In November 2022, Slater shared an anniversary tribute to his wife on Instagram, writing, “My best friend. 4 years married, 10 years together. And this is easily the best (and most *bizarre*) year yet.” Grande liked the post.

On Monday, a source confirmed to ET that Grande and Dalton Gomez had separated after two years of marriage, noting that the pair — who tied the knot in May 2021, five months after announcing their engagement — “ultimately were just not a good fit.” Then, just three days later, a source confirmed to ET that Grande and Slater are dating.

“Ariana and Ethan recently started dating. They have a lot in common and have a lot of fun,” the source said. “They didn’t start dating until both were broken up with their significant others. Ariana and Dalton remain friends.”

[From ET]

Just my opinion, but there are only so many times a celebrity woman can pull this Miranda Lambert bullsh-t before it comes back to bite her on the ass. Miranda used to bang married men all the time until it reached public consciousness, that she was a habitual husband-stealer and trainwreck. Then suddenly, Miranda settled down with that cop (now retired) who also had a long-term partner and a baby. It was a damage-control elopement, and she’s made a point of not carrying on openly with married men ever since. It feels like Ariana’s reputation is heading in the same direction – this was internationally messy and it also feels like Lilly Jay will not be going away quietly (nor should she).

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images, Instagram.

Years ago, Prince William, Prince Harry and Kate did Heads Together, which was supposed to be some kind of big bureaucracy to manage all of their mental-health related work. I always sort of shrugged off the simplistic message of “talk to someone, therapy can help you.” But more and more, I really do feel like everyone in the UK needs a massive amount of therapy. Byline Times released Part 3 of their on-going Dan Wootton exposé, and this piece is all about Wootton’s “first victim,” the first guy he ever blackmailed under the alias Martin Branning. I am truly struggling to unpack the layers of creepiness, abuse, obsession and sexual pathology happening with Wootton. I don’t really want to “unpack” it honestly, because all of it is a huge YIKES. You can read the full piece here.

I’m not going to excerpt it the Byline article because it’s complicated and honestly, it’s really disgusting. Basically, in 2008, Wootton-as-Martin Branning cold-contacted the partner of one of Wootton’s colleagues. Wootton offered the guy money to film himself having sex with random people. Wootton controlled almost everything about these recordings and did so entirely online or through texts or third-parties. This guy probably made dozens of tapes, and he was paid in “sweaty wads of twenties” via courier. Wootton then used all of these tapes to blackmail the guy and his partner (who was Wootton’s coworker). The guy who did the videos tells Byline: “The fall-out from this went on for years. I literally quit my London life; I lost everything. I went into the depths of depression. I definitely considered suicide. I didn’t want to be around any more. I blamed myself for the whole situation. I am only coming to terms with it now. Now I want to get it sorted out.”

So… yeah, what is the pathology here? Wootton was getting off on all or some of this – it wasn’t just a money thing or blackmail thing, nor was it merely about power. And consider this as well – Wootton had much more conventional ways of accumulating and maintaining power within the British media. He didn’t *need* to catfish and blackmail his coworkers and their partners for years. He did it because he enjoyed doing it, because he was getting off on it.

How ‘Martin Branning’ blackmailed a man into making a covert sex video later found hidden behind the washing machine of GB News star Dan Wootton.

‘Branning’ threatened to send compromising material to their family and friends if they refused to cooperate.https://t.co/F4wtnHzZcW

— Adam Bienkov (@AdamBienkov) July 24, 2023

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, GB News.

Embed from Getty Images
I did not have Gosselin family drama on my Summer 2023 bingo card, but here we are. To recap, 19-year-old Collin Gosselin (one of the sextuplets) spoke to Entertainment Tonight last fall about being sent to an institution at age 12. In an episode of the FX documentary Dark Side of the 2000s, he spoke about his mom Kate’s abuse, which his sister Hannah confirmed. After it aired, his older sister Mady got involved to defend Kate and accuse Collin of abuse and racism, which is pretty typical in toxic families. Jon responded by pointing out that Mady has not seen Collin since he was in sixth grade. Naturally, Kate reacted by going full DARVO, smearing her own son by accusing him of “violent behavior” and blaming his recollection on “mental illness.” It was pretty disgusting.

Now, Jon is speaking out in support of his son, calling out the Patron Saint of Karens’ “cruel false accusations” and pointing out that Collin had to be cleared mentally, physically, and medically by the government before joining the Marines.

Hours after Kate Gosselin broke her silence following son Collin‘s claims that she had him institutionalized to conceal her alleged abuse, her ex-husband, Jon Gosselin, has spoken out.

“Kate posting cruel false accusations regarding Collin seems to be just another way for her to justify her inexcusable horrific past behavior toward him,” a rep for Jon, 46, told The U.S. Sun on Friday, July 21. “True love for a child wouldn’t include a mother attacking their son to the public. … Do not forget that a judge awarded sole legal and physical custody of Collin to his father.”

Jon — who received custody of Collin and Hannah, both now 19, in 2018 after they moved into his home — further noted that Collin needed to be “cleared by the Marines with a full background check including mental, physical, and medical clearance” before enlisting in the armed forces. The statement concluded, “The government’s full diagnoses clearly reflects the truth.”

[From Us Weekly]

Good on Jon for calling Kate’s (ridiculously long) statement what it was: cruel. She’s a narcissist who loves attention and always needs to have the last word, so I’m sure we’ll get some sort of public response to Jon’s statement. I just wonder if it will come from Kate herself or if she’ll send one of her other children out to do her dirty work. It also speaks volumes that after all of this has come out, her response was to publicly attack her son rather than reach out to him privately to clear the air and try to fix their relationship.

I feel so terrible for Collin, but am glad he has Jon and Hannah’s support. I’m also so impressed with how brave he was to speak out, especially considering he had to have known that his mom would react like this. He speaks more eloquently than most people twice his age, myself included. I hope all of this drama dies down quickly for his sake, and that now that the truth is out there, he’s able to move forward and live his best life.

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Back in June, Joe Nahmad and Madison Headrick got married in Sardinia. The wedding reportedly cost close to $13 million, and there were many A-listers there, including Leo DiCaprio, Tom Brady, David Grutman, Serena Williams, Venus Williams and several models, including Irina Shayk. I only heard/read about the wedding because Page Six got a tip that Irina was practically stalking Tom Brady throughout the weekend and she was “throwing herself at him.” Her people made a point of denying that. Well, six weeks later, guess what? Tom Brady and Irina Shayk are happening. They are, how you say, bumping uglies.
There’s a HUGE rollout in TMZ, People Magazine, Page Six and more.

The new summer romance between Tom Brady and Irina Shayk has been brewing for “a few weeks,” a source tells PEOPLE. Shayk, 37, and Brady, 45, “have been in touch for a few weeks,” according to the insider, who says “there is a spark” between the model and retired NFL star.

The source says Brady invited Shayk to “fly out and meet up in Los Angeles,” where the two were spotted cozying up during a romantic weekend. “They spent the night Friday and Saturday at a house” where Brady is staying, the source explains.

“There is an attraction,” according to the source, who adds that Brady and Shayk “have never been involved romantically before” the summer fling began. Another source tells PEOPLE that the two first started talking when they were guests at billionaire art heir Joe Nahmad’s wedding to model Madison Headrick in Sardinia, Italy back in June.

Brady was spotted by paparazzi this weekend cozying up with Shayk in his car after they spent the night together, Page Six and others reported.

The father of three, who has also been linked to Kim Kardashian since his divorce from ex-wife Gisele Bündchen nine months ago, was photographed picking up Shayk at the Hotel Bel-Air on Friday afternoon before the pair returned to the house for the night. At one traffic stop, Brady was snapped caressing Shayk’s face as the two talked in the front seat of his black Rolls Royce. Shayk was spotted leaving the next morning, before Brady later picked up the Russian model again on Saturday afternoon, Page Six reports.

[From People]

You can see some of the photos of Tom and Irina’s California weekend here at TMZ. TMZ also reports that Tom and Irina did meet at Joe Nahmad’s wedding last month, and “A number of models were hitting on Tom, and Irina was one of them,” although her rep denies it. LMAO. Irina really doesn’t want to give the impression that she zoned in on Single Tom, targeted him and proceeded to throw herself at him. Hey, it worked! Overall, I’m sort of impressed by how matter-of-fact this is? While Irina and Tom were aiming for a discreet meet-up, they also weren’t jumping into bushes or hiding anything. They’re both single and ready to mingle – it’s not scandalous in the least.

Meanwhile, sources tell TMZ AND Page Six that Gisele Bundchen “is not happy at all” about Tom and Irina’s new romance. One source did tell Page Six that Tom & Irina’s new thing is “helpful to [Bündchen’s] freedom.” I don’t get any of this alleged Gisele angst? Gisele left Tom, Gisele wanted out, Gisele was completely above-board about everything and she explained every part of how she felt in multiple interviews. I get that “model catfights” sell, but please, give Gisele some credit. I doubt she’s worked up over this.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Instagram.

Valentine Low’s Courtiers is coming out in paperback, which is why the Times ran an exclusive several weeks ago with excerpts from some new chapters. Low’s sources insist that the now-Princess of Wales was particularly upset after the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s 2021 Oprah interview. Low claims that Kate insisted that QEII’s statement post-interview include the phrase “recollections may vary.” Kate insisted on that because Kate had spent the better part of three years telling everyone in the family and everyone in the media that Meghan had made her cry, when really, Wedding Karen Kate had made Meghan cry. Well, Low is still shilling this book and he’s trying to promote it by saying that Kate is “steely” and yet she might also be very bland and an instigator. Of course, Low can’t come right out and say that, so here you go:

Kate Middleton is one tough cookie. Royal expert Valentine Low exclusively told Page Six in a recent interview that the royal, 41, is “tougher” than she lets on.

“Interestingly, behind the scenes, she’s a lot more steely, a lot tougher than we give her credit,” he said. “She’s this nice-looking woman, dresses nicely, smiles nicely, adopts sort of fairly uncontroversial charities. You know, they think she’s slightly bland.”

Low said one example of the Princess of Wales’ steeliness occurred after Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s bombshell interview with Oprah Winfrey, which aired in March 2021.

The Palace waited until the interview aired in the UK to issue a response and Low says in a new chapter for the paperback edition of his book “Courtiers,” that there the royal family split on how to respond.

“The whole family is saddened to learn the full extent of how challenging the last few years have been for Harry and Meghan. The issues raised, particularly that of race, are concerning,” the statement from Queen Elizabeth II read at the time. “While some recollections may vary, they are taken very seriously and will be addressed by the family privately.”

Low said that Jean-Christophe Gray, Prince William’s newly appointed private secretary, came up with the memorable line, “recollections may vary” in the statement, implying that the Palace disagreed about what had happened.

“There were some people in other [royal] households, who felt it would antagonize Harry and Meghan and would go down badly and just keep the whole unpleasantness going,” Low explained. “But it was Kate who really strongly made the argument,” he noted, adding that the mom of three wanted that line to stay in the statement so that Markle and Harry’s version of events wouldn’t be accepted as truth.

Low told us that Middleton is acutely aware that “she’s one day going to be Queen” and “thinks very carefully about the long-term security and strength and stability of the royal family as an institution.” He added, “She’s good. She has a good eye on the big picture, the long game.”

[From Page Six]

“They think she’s slightly bland.” I swear, Kate really is that bland. You can argue that she’s aiming for “uncontroversial” – and I think that’s true – but mostly, she really is that bland, that uninspired, that intellectually lazy. Of course Kate didn’t want the Sussexes’ version of events to be “accepted” – because even though Meghan took pains to go gently on Kate in particular, Kate came across like a huge a–hole. Even moreso in Prince Harry’s memoir. Kate was probably thrilled at the idea that “recollections may vary” would antagonize the Sussexes, because that seems to be her thing too.

Honestly though, one of the most surprising aspects of Low’s new chapters and these talking points about who came up with what line in the statement is that we’re definitely left with the impression, over and over again, that these people were issuing all kinds of statements in Queen Elizabeth II’s name and QEII had very little say in any of it. But tell me again that QEII “wanted” Camilla to be called “queen.”

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Instar.

I love how many conservative men are crying about “woke, anti-man” Barbie. Not everything has to be for you, dude. [Towleroad]
Christine Baranski joined the picket lines. [Go Fug Yourself]
Sarah’s review of Barbie – a celebration of girl power. [LaineyGossip]
I really need to start watching Minx. [OMG Blog]
This is Max Verstappen’s girlfriend, Kelly Piquet. [Egotastic]
Is Justified: City Primeval anachronistic? [Pajiba]
Ryan Gosling really embraced pastels for Barbie’s promo. [Socialite Life]
The best quotes from the Barbie movie. [Just Jared]
Did Sherri Shepherd get a breast reduction? [Seriously OMG]
These stories are so unsettling – the one about the bunk bed in college is particularly creepy and I’m going to have nightmares about that. [Buzzfeed]
Lori Harvey’s vacation style. [RCFA]

Gonna be honest with y’all: I was gonna just wait until Barbie came to iTunes for rent but as soon as the MAGA crowd said it was “woke garbage” I said “nah lemme head to the theater…” pic.twitter.com/xd26LemaNO

— yung auntie (she/her). (@MsPackyetti) July 21, 2023

“Barbie is a two hour woke-a-thon brimming with feminist lectures and nuclear-level rage against men.” pic.twitter.com/2ppcKtGgwV

— Keith Edwards (@keithedwards) July 21, 2023

That does it…I was not sure if I would go see it….but now I will definitely go….at a minimum maybe Barbie will tell us all what woke means… https://t.co/UBPiBiuZBh

— Jen Psaki (@jrpsaki) July 22, 2023

Prince William behaves like a divorced dad already. When he and Kate have to do events together, they often look like two coworkers who had a dramatic falling out, and everyone is on edge about how they’ll behave and whether or not Kate will try to grope him. Which is probably why they do a lot of solo events… when they do work. Speaking of, the Mail is trying to point out that William has been “going solo” a lot and he will continue to go solo in the future. The Mail is also trying to make that sound like a good thing, because William is so attractive (!!) and kingly (??) that “royal fans” are flocking to him. Literally, this man is greeted by zero crowds, and even worse than that, he tries to fly under the radar because he’s terrified of being protested by anti-monarchy groups. But sure. Some highlights from the DM’s “It’s Willi-yum, the royal fans’ favourite. No wonder the Prince of Wales is growing in confidence – and increasingly willing to carry out royal duties alone…” HORK to “Willi-yum” oh my god.

Kate will not go to New York with William in September: When Prince William visits New York in the autumn to promote his Earthshot environmental awards, it looks as though he will be doing so alone, with Kate remaining at home. Nothing is set in stone and this could change, of course.

Solo Peg is increasingly happy: But the Prince is judged by royal watchers to be growing into his new more senior role following his father’s accession to the throne. And he seems increasingly happy to take the strain himself and conduct royal engagements solo. Although William enjoys the teamwork that comes with public engagements alongside his wife, he will be glad to give her break – the more so as she has her work cut out with a young family. Solo appearances, particularly when they relate to his personal projects – in this case Earthshot – are also a chance for the new Prince of Wales to establish himself as his role as future king looms larger with every passing day.

Kate will go to Singapore though: The Princess of Wales is expected to join her husband for the finals in Singapore in November.

Growing confidence at the age of 41: Kate Mansey, royal writer and assistant editor of The Mail on Sunday said: ‘William seems happier in his own skin – he’s really grown into the new role, as Prince of Wales, very quickly. He does seem more confident. It helps that he has the backing of his father. He’ll like the fact that he can now focus on his own projects, things he really wants to do. And he’s perhaps more settled since the family moved to Windsor.’ She suggested that some royal engagements have become less stressful than in the past because video clips of an event can be so easily distributed to the media afterwards – reducing the size of the entourage involved, and the pressure.

William gets attention from women: It can only help that the Prince of Wales is developing a certain female constituency – regarded as dashing and, of course, in notably good shape. Some royal fans were said to have been left swooning after William as he showed off his polo skills in a charity match earlier this month. Some suggested they’d been left feeling hot under the collar when snaps from the event emerged.

[From The Daily Mail]

This article was doing a lot, right? It established that William prefers to do events without Kate. It established that William is desperate for attention from other women. It established that William sees his children as Kate’s responsibility alone. It established that William is soft-launching his Divorced Dad Brand. Like, I’ve been saying all along that Will and Kate will stay “together” for as long as this arrangement suits William. He’s fine with separate lives, he’s fine with sticking Kate in Adelaide Cottage with the kids, he’s fine with doing solo events. But there’s been a shift, right? I genuinely can’t wait to see what happens here.

Photos courtesy of Cover Images.

While I respect the fact that the Sussex Squad is populated by such great fact-checkers, I sometimes think that squad members are so focused on fact-checking, they miss some really shady admissions by “royal sources” or “palace sources.” Take, for example, the Daily Mail’s exclusive reporting on the Duke and Duchess of Sussex “asking” the Biden administration for a ride back to the US on Air Force One following QEII’s funeral. The fact-checkers pointed out that the Bidens left right after the state funeral, while Harry and Meghan were held hostage for the family funeral in Windsor, therefore the story is bullsh-t. While I agree that it’s unlikely that H&M asked the Biden administration for a ride, that doesn’t change the fact that… it seems like the palace and 10 Downing Street were very worried that the Sussexes would hitch a ride. I believe that’s the root of the whole story: that British government officials ran to the American government and threw a tantrum, demanding that the Bidens refuse any request from the Sussexes.

Incidentally, I think that’s what happened with last year’s Invictus Games too – Downing Street and Buckingham Palace are regularly using their political capital with the Biden administration to… ask that the Bidens not look too cozy with the Sussexes. It’s insane. It doesn’t matter if the Sussexes asked for this or that – what’s important is that the palace and the British government are using resources, time and capital to focus on a private American citizen and her British husband. Speaking of, Camilla Tominey wants us to know that she got the tip about the Sussexes and Air Force One, only she accidentally admits that the British government threw a f–king tantrum.

Asking to fly home to the States on Air Force One would appear to embody the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s attitude to power: all the trappings, with none of the responsibility. Harry and Meghan reportedly requested the lift back from Queen Elizabeth II’s funeral last September with Joe Biden and his wife Jill – only to be swiftly rebuffed.

British officials are understood to have conveyed to National Security Council staff in a “working level conversation” that they thought the idea would land badly with the palace. Sources close to the couple have not denied the claim. It may have been with the intention of keeping their carbon emissions down (they take a lot of private jets for a pair of eco-warriors, after all).

Or perhaps it was to save a bit of money ahead of Spotify agreeing to “part ways” with the Duchess after just 12 episodes of her Archetypes podcast.

But the reported request raises the spectre of them wanting to be photographed climbing the steps of the famous Boeing 747, to wave alongside the President and First Lady of the United States. For make no mistake – the Sussexes do seem to see themselves as at that level.

What with Harry’s demand that he has armed Metropolitan Police bodyguards when he visits the UK, despite no longer being a member of the Firm, and Meghan’s desire to emulate Michelle Obama with the Oprah Winfrey interview and Netflix series.

The Duchess is thought to entertain political ambitions, but what the pair appear to have forgotten is that, in order to gain a reputation as a leading statesperson or philanthropist, you actually have to have done something. Instead, what we’ve had from the Duke and Duchess since Megxit has been all talk and no action. That’s why the idea of them travelling on Air Force One seems such a flight of fancy.

[From The Telegraph]

Imagine arguing that the Sussexes are not important enough to ride on Air Force One while simultaneously admitting that the British government leaned on National Security Council officials to beg them to ignore the Sussexes. Imagine thinking any of this makes the Sussexes look bad? For years now, we’ve seen that there are really nefarious people working against the Sussexes and actively trying to harm the Sussexes. This whole “Air Force One” story has made it clear that it’s not just the vague “British ruling class.” It’s the actual government, the entire Tory party and the entirety of the royal establishment.

Photos courtesy of Cover Images.

Just weeks after QEII’s funeral, Buckingham Palace was openly briefing the media about how King Charles planned a “two-year travel blitz” to visit his realms and Commonwealth countries. That didn’t happen. He tried to do a big tour of France and Germany before the coronation, but French people threatened him with a guillotine, so he postponed. Royal sources also began to whisper that Queen Camilla has no desire to travel anymore, that she’s simply getting too old. Still, you would think that the king would send out his heir and the heir’s wife to represent the crown abroad, as Charles did for his mother? You would be wrong. The last time Prince William and Kate did a real tour in Commonwealth countries, it was last year’s Caribbean Flop Tour and they’re still salty about how badly it went. After that tour, the British government basically told the Windsors: maybe you guys shouldn’t do your keen racist roadshows anymore. There was also that curious piece in the Telegraph right after the coronation, which was basically like: William and Kate absolutely refuse to go on tours anymore. Well, here’s an update:

A two-year blitz of formal visits by senior Royals is planned in a bid to protect ties with the Commonwealth and the rest of the world. The King and Queen and the Prince and Princess of Wales hope a show of ‘soft diplomacy’ will protect relations with countries such as Australia which want to go it alone. The tours raise the prospect of Kate and William taking George, 10, Charlotte, eight, and Louis, five, with them.

Charles has made only one state visit – to Germany in March – since becoming King. As monarch, he has yet to visit any of the 14 Commonwealth realms outside the UK where he is head of state. But last night a palace source said: ‘State visits are back in business.’

Palace insiders have suggested senior Royals have been frustrated at the Government’s perceived slow process for approving visits, which are decided by the Foreign Office and Royal Visits Committee. Now plans are under way for a rescheduled visit to France by the King and Queen in September – postponed because of riots in March – and, next year, the King will visit Samoa when it hosts a Commonwealth heads of government meeting. As The Mail on Sunday has revealed, the King and Queen will also travel to Kenya later this year.

William and Kate are widely expected to visit the Commonwealth country of Singapore in the autumn. Kensington Palace has announced William will go to New York in September.

Historian Ian Lloyd said: ‘A visit by Charles to Canada and one by the Waleses to Australia and New Zealand would capitalise on the global interest in the Coronation. They need to do this soon before that interest wanes – and taking the Waleses’ children would prove to be a PR triumph too. The problem is they are asked to undertake tours by the Government who want to utilise the Royal soft power to promote the country. So, the King’s desire to maintain links with the Commonwealth has to work in tandem with the Government. This was easy in the early days of Elizabeth’s reign when Prime Ministers like Churchill had a romantic vision of the old empire.’

Elizabeth was once Queen of 31 Commonwealth ‘realms’. Today there are 14 – and referendums are planned which could see more of them peel away.

Last week the Australian state of Victoria announced that it would no longer host the 2026 Commonwealth Games because they ‘do not represent value for money’.

[From The Daily Mail]

I’m fascinated by the politics of this slow-motion trainwreck. Arguably, this all started when QEII and her advisors made a point of snubbing the UK’s European allies and letting people know that QEII supported Brexit… specifically because of the British Commonwealth. As in, QEII valued commonwealth ties over the EU and European alliances. QEII and her advisors failed to predict what was right in front of them: that the British commonwealth would effectively die with QEII. Britain and the Windsors put all of their proverbial eggs in the “commonwealth” basket and it’s blown up in their faces. Especially since Charles seems to be the only one who even gives a sh-t about any of this now. Camilla would rather sit in her garden with a pitcher full of G&Ts. William would rather be ass-deep in rose bushes. Kate would rather watch TV. The Mail can’t even promise that William, Kate, Charles and Camilla will actually make any trips to Australia, New Zealand, Canada, etc.

Photos courtesy of Instar.