SPOILERS for the final season of Ted Lasso.

I didn’t write anything about Ted Lasso’s finale yesterday because I only watched the final episode late in the day on Wednesday. I have to admit, the third season was not “must watch” for me at all, and there were several weeks where I delayed watching the latest episode until the weekend. While there were some good parts of Season 3, I hope even diehard fans can be honest and recognize that this final season was a bloated mess of half-finished and forgotten stories, weirdly uneven storytelling and Jason Sudeikis completely sleepwalking through his performance.

That is something that will stick with me, and I hate that it will stick with me – Jason Sudeikis was absolutely f–king miserable in Season 3, and his misery affected every part of the show. It was shocking to watch “Ted Lasso” disassociate with everyone (especially Rebecca!!) as they were sobbing and telling him how much they’ll miss him. There were also so many parts of these really significant plotlines which just… happened off-camera. We never saw Nate make the decision to quit working for Rupert and handing in his resignation. We never saw Lasso tell Rebecca and the team that he was leaving. We never even saw Colin *actually* come out and tell his teammates that he’s gay. The choices were so f–king weird.

As it’s been said, I understand that Sudeikis was going through a lot of sh-t in his personal life with Olivia Wilde and the custody fight for their kids. That drama was peppered into so much of the third season in really obvious ways as Sudeikis “worked out” his feelings through Lasso and his ex-wife. Then at the end, Lasso goes home to Kansas and actually returns to the home he shared with Michelle and their son? Are we supposed to believe that they got back together? The final shot of Lasso breaking the fourth wall as his coaches his son’s soccer team was also just… like, he didn’t look happy. He looked like a man trying to get through the day as he has a nervous breakdown.

Do you think they’ve set it up for the spinoff? The Richmond Way? With Beard and Roy Kent and basically all of the cast except for Sudeikis? Maybe.

Photos courtesy of AppleTV, Avalon Red, Backgrid.

Are Kaia Gerber & Austin Butler engaged or what? [LaineyGossip]
Jeremy Strong actually drank that disgusting smoothie in Succession. [Dlisted]
Brie Larson’s Chanel wardrobe in Cannes was not great. [Tom & Lorenzo]
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel ended this week too. [Pajiba]
The white feminists are still crying about Shiv Roy’s choices. [Jezebel]
Sienna Miller is still with Oli Green. [JustJared]
A look at Alexander McQueen’s pre-fall collection. [GFY]
Is Kylie Jenner attempting a “quiet luxury” rebrand? [Buzzfeed]
Japan just legalized gay marriage? [Towleroad]
Which Kardashian-Jenner would you like to get drunk with? I think Kim? If you get drunk with Khloe, you’ll probably both end up arrested. [Starcasm]
Riley Keough wore a Loewe bedsheet, basically. [RCFA]

The Heritage Foundation is still trying to get their hands on Prince Harry’s visa application in America. We don’t exactly know the specifics of Harry’s legal and tax status in America, but I suspect he’s classified as a resident alien, married to an American citizen and paying taxes here in America. I also suspect that he’s already started – or will soon start – his green card application. Prince Harry is a wealthy man with a lot of access, and I trust that he has great immigration lawyers helping him navigate the American immigration system. The Heritage Foundation is relying on British readers of “niche” British newspapers not understanding the complexities of American immigration. Heritage’s lawsuit is a big setpiece designed solely to attack Harry in the British media and to convince British readers that Harry could be “deported” from America. Well, next week, Heritage’s lawyers will be in court for a hearing about how badly they want to get their hands on Harry’s visa application.

The US government will appear in court next week to answer questions over Prince Harry’s visa application, after he detailed his drug use in his tell-all memoir. The case has been brought by the conservative think tank the Heritage Foundation, which is demanding the release of the Duke of Sussex’s American visa application. The US government has so far refused to release it, despite a freedom of information request.

A federal judge in Washington will hear arguments from the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) and the Heritage Foundation on Tuesday, June 6, deciding whether to compel officials to release the Duke’s immigration records to the public. The hearing is the first of what is likely to be many more motions and hearings. Judge Carl J Nichols, appointed to the court by Donald Trump, is expected to make a written statement at a later date.

Nile Gardiner, director of the Margaret Thatcher Centre for Freedom at the Heritage Foundation, said the hearing was a “very significant development”.

“It significantly raises the stakes here,” he told the Telegraph. “I think that so far the Biden administration has been stonewalling the freedom of information request. But ultimately, this issue will be settled by a federal judge.”

The Heritage Foundation has argued that it is in the public interest for the authorities to divulge what the Duke said on his application, and the details of any waiver he was granted, including the identity of the person making the decision.

“The American people deserve answers to the serious questions raised by the evidence. Did DHS in fact look the other way, play favourites, or fail to appropriately respond to any potential false statements by Prince Harry?” the think tank said in a statement on Tuesday.

Mr Gardiner told The Telegraph: “It’s in the public interest for the American people to know exactly what was in Prince Harry’s immigration application. And if he has nothing to hide he should support the release of the records.”

[From The Telegraph]

Spoiler: it’s not in the public interest to publicly release a resident alien’s visa application. Harry is not running for public office. Harry is not being charged with a crime. Harry is not a foreign national purchasing an American TV station. Those are the only situations where one could argue that his visa application is “in the public interest.” Simply saying that “he’s a famous British prince living in America with his family and he wrote about his past drug use” is not a sufficient legal argument for “it’s in the public’s interest.” The legal argument from the Heritage Foundation doesn’t even make any sense – they have no idea and no evidence that Harry “lied” on the application. It’s a fishing expedition targeting a celebrity, an expedition led by niche British publications working in concert with a right-wing think-tank.

Photos courtesy of Cover Images.

The British media is obsessed with royal family members paying taxes. No, not King Charles. Not Queen Camilla. Not Prince William. Not Princess Anne or Prince Edward either. All of those royals live tax-free and much – if not all – of their lifestyles are funded by the British taxpayer. And again, the Windsors are not taxpayers. So instead of doing a deeper dive on why the king doesn’t have to pay a cent of inheritance tax or property tax, the British media is once again obsessed with the fact that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex pay property taxes. Last year, the Mirror did a big story about that simple fact – “family pays property taxes on their mansion” – and wouldn’t you know, Richard Eden got the exclusive this year:

In Royal circles they’ve been nicknamed ‘the Kardashians’ — in tribute, it’s explained, to their appetite for ‘accepting awards for themselves, talking about themselves, doing programmes about themselves’.

But it should, in fairness, be said that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are paying the price for embracing the ‘celebrity lifestyle’ in California — such as the property tax (the U.S. equivalent of council tax) slapped on their mansion in Montecito.

I can reveal that, this year, it amounts to a vertiginous £116,746 — more than 24 times the highest council tax in Britain.

The property, built in a ‘Tuscan style’, has a library, cinema, gym, spa, pool, tennis court, seven bedrooms and 16 bathrooms, although, by one account, that last figure is now a rather intriguing 13-and-a-half.

Perhaps the half is reserved for the bodyguard? Earlier this month, Meghan was seen out walking, accompanied by Kim Kardashian’s former ‘muscle’ who, like the most robust US bodyguards, may well have a price-tag of £1,460-a-day.

[From The Daily Mail]

The Sussexes have paid for their own lifestyles, their homes, their clothes, their travels and their staff for years now. They live as private citizens, in a private home, with private security, and they pay their taxes. That’s it. That’s the story, spiced up with Eden’s attempts to pour scorn on Harry and Meghan for… earning money, accepting awards and making programs which people want to watch. I think there’s also so much scorn for the number of bathrooms, still, to this day. Three years later and Salt Islanders are still weeping in the streets at Harry and Meghan’s thirteen bathrooms.

Photos courtesy of Archewell, Netflix, WellChild, AppleTV.

For years now, King Charles has had very little to do with the daily operations of his signature charity, The Prince’s Trust. Neither of his sons wanted to take over the trust, and so Charles basically put people in charge to operate it like a business, with a board of directors and regular fundraisers and events hosted by any of the dozens of Prince’s Trust ambassadors. So many celebrities are ambassadors for the trust, including Idris Elba, Tom Hardy, Luke Evans, Ant and Dec, etc. Well, Phillip Schofield was an ambassador for the Prince’s Trust as well. In the wake of Schofield’s scandalous relationship with a much-younger man, that ambassadorship is now over. The trust didn’t even fire him outright – they came to a mutual agreement. Face-saving wording for Schofield. Why does he deserve that?

Phillip Schofield has been dropped as an ambassador for The Prince’s Trust after his admission of an affair with a younger male colleague. The charity, founded by the King, said it was “no longer appropriate” for it to work with the presenter. Schofield left ITV’s This Morning last week after two decades as host.

A spokesperson for The Prince’s Trust said: “In light of Phillip’s recent admissions, we have agreed with him that it is no longer appropriate to work together.”

The announcement comes after Schofield admitted to having an “unwise, but not illegal” affair with a younger male colleague on the show. His admission saw him quit all his duties for ITV and be dropped by his talent agency, YMU. It comes as ITV bosses will soon be quizzed by MPs over their handling of the situation at This Morning.

[From Sky News]

I mean… Charles has always been a terrible judge of character. He was close to Jimmy Savile for decades while Savile was a serial predator of children. Charles was also mentored by Lord Mountbatten, who likely abused children too. I always wonder if all of it is an open secret when you get to the upper echelons of British society – like, Schofield’s (despicable, criminal) arrangement with his victim was in plain sight, and people went out of their way to cover up for him and protect him. Same with all of the other white men in Charles’s orbit.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Instar, Cover Images.

Last week, the Princess of Wales did some appearances at a couple of London-based charities and programs. Most of us didn’t pay much attention to what issues Kate was trying to highlight because we were so overcome by her giant pearl belt and pink McQueen suit. Well, one of the programs Kate visited was Kinship, a charity focused on providing help and resources to people raising the children of a family member or friend. After complaining about it for years, I’m happy to take credit for the fact that Kate’s crack team of palace sycophants is finally doing one thing right: they’re tagging her charities on social media and highlighting ways for people to get more information. It’s not just “Kate showing up somewhere and posing for photos” without any attempt to put the attention on a worthy cause. All of that tagging and awareness-raising has finally been successful… for one charity, Kinship.

For years, royal philanthropy has focused on raising awareness and rewarding people around the world for the service they have already carried out, so it can sometimes be difficult to see a direct effect between a royal visit and positive change. But on Friday, the head of Kinship, a charity that works with Princess Kate and her Royal Foundation Centre for Early Childhood, said that an engagement with the princess last week led to an increase in outreach to the group’s advice service.

“Following the event with The Princess of Wales, there’s been a surge in inquiries to our advice service,” Kinship CEO Lucy Peake wrote on Twitter. “Our advisers have responded with skill, expertise and compassion. Huge thanks to them all.” According to the organization, their services work with more than 10,000 families consisting of relatives raising children who cannot live with their parents every year. Earlier this year, Kinship also launched an online resource hub to better reach kinship families.

Last Thursday, Kate attended an event with the charity at London’s Foundling Museum with Professor Green, a British rapper and mental health activist who signed on as an ambassador for Kate’s Shaping Us initiative earlier this year. The pair spoke with adults who experienced foster care while they were young, who had written poems to go along with the museum’s new exhibition Finding Family. Later, Kate sat in on a support group organized by Kinship for grandparents and other relatives who are raising children who can no longer live with their parents.

“There are over 162,000 children being raised in kinship care in England and Wales, many of whom have experienced trauma in their earliest years, and who benefit from remaining in the care of their wider network of family and friends,” the Centre for Early Childhood wrote in a statement. “Professor Green was joined by his own nan, together with a grandmother currently caring for her eight year old granddaughter, for an intimate conversation with The Princess about their experiences of these vital kinship relationships.”

[From Vanity Fair]

“There’s been a surge in inquiries to our advice service…” But has there been a surge in donations to Kinship? Again, I’m glad that after twelve-plus years, we finally have some evidence that one of Kate’s events has led to something positive. I’m glad that she actually managed to raise awareness of Kinship and the services they offer. But still… Kate is obsessed with copykeening the Duchess of Sussex in every way except for impact and fundraising. Kate’s defenders will say that Kate doesn’t want to look too political, but again, we’re simply suggesting that Kate add the link to the donation page to her social media every single time she visits a charity. Which she still doesn’t do. Because the whole point of these visits is NOT “impact,” it’s “look at Kate in her Barbiecore suit.”

The brilliant @kinshipcharity helps families across the UK where grandparents, relatives or friends raise someone else’s child.

Spending quality time with these families today has been wonderful. pic.twitter.com/0btALGJlxe

— The Prince and Princess of Wales (@KensingtonRoyal) May 25, 2023

Photos courtesy of Cover Images.

Azealia Banks has a problematic history of trollish and MAGA behavior, but one thing Banks will always do well is write everything down. She’s one of the best writers and social/culture critics out there, and I’ve come to enjoy it when she chimes in on pop culture stories of the day. I loved what she had to say about the Julia Fox-Kanye West situation (Julia did not) and Banks loves it when celebrities try to beef with her (who can forget the Lana del Rey back-and-forth). Well, apparently Banks has had a soft spot for Taylor Swift for some time, and Azealia Banks is worried about her girl. She’s worried that Taylor is letting a “full incel” like Matt Healy “climb the rich white coochie mountain.” OH MY GOD.

What’s your favorite part? “Taylor, this guy is gonna give you scabies” or when Banks ships Taylor with James Mercer from The Shins? I agree with Banks that Healy is a “downgrade” for Taylor, but in that downgrade, perhaps we’re seeing Taylor’s true self.

Azealia also read Healy’s New Yorker profile, where he shrugged off concerns of his racism and bigotry by claiming his haters were too online and a bit “mental.” Azealia had a read for Healy on Ice Spice too:

Oh she’s MADD pic.twitter.com/7D5M6Up8y1

— Leo (@Swiftsbeatles) May 30, 2023

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid, Instagram, Cover Images.

Elizabeth Holmes reported for prison yesterday to begin serving an 11 year, 3 month sentence after being convicted on 4 counts of defrauding investors in January 2022. It’s been twenty years since Holmes founded Theranos, the biotech company that promised (and failed) to deliver a myriad of conclusive lab results from a prick of blood, and Holmes’ attempts at appeals, blame shifting, pregnancies and Mexican wedding attendance have led her to a minimum security prison camp 90 minutes away from where she grew up in Houston, Texas:

Elizabeth Holmes reported to prison on Tuesday, capping off a stunning downfall for the disgraced founder of failed blood testing startup Theranos.

Holmes was sentenced to more than 11 years in prison last November, after she was convicted months earlier on multiple charges of defrauding investors while running the now-defunct startup.

Her request to remain free on bail while she fights to overturn her conviction was denied by an appellate court earlier this month. Judge Edward Davila, who presided over her trial, ordered Holmes to turn herself in to the Bureau of Prisons by May 30 to begin serving her sentence.

Holmes arrived Tuesday at Federal Prison Camp Bryan in southern Texas, a minimum security prison camp that is approximately 100 miles from Houston, where she grew up before moving to California to attend Stanford.

“We can confirm Elizabeth Holmes has arrived at the Federal Prison Camp (FPC) Bryan in Bryan, Texas, and is in the custody of the Federal Bureau of Prisons,” a spokesperson for the Bureau of Prisons said in a statement provided to CNN.

[From CNN]

For anyone into often overlooked details, as I am, the NY Times had some interesting reporting on life at FPC Bryan. Holmes will be required to work at the cafeteria or manufacturing facility, where pay begins at $1.15 an hour. (Will this be the first honest wage she earns?) She can put those funds to purchasing a crochet needle ($1.30), yarn ($3.55), a radio ($31.75) or MP3 player ($88.40). With her sentence, she has a shot at buying them all. But before she even gets to work, she may have to take an assessment that will test her abilities in “business, clerical, numerical, logic, mechanical and ‘social.’” PLEASE someone leak the results of her test!! Unfortunately FPC Bryan has had a leak in the past, in the form of 3 inmates who escaped in 2017. One of them is still at large. So before Holmes somehow cons her way out of there, I do hope, as Celebitchy once said, that someone can help her out with her hair.

One last item I’ll leave you with: Holmes had her second baby earlier this year, a girl she and partner Billy Evans named Invicta. As in Latin for ‘invincible’ or ‘undefeated.’ That’s all.

It’s incredibly sad that Elizabeth Holmes’ children are going to be without their mother in their most formative years because she made the self-serving decision to specifically get pregnant multiple times ahead of her trial in hopes it would keep her from going to prison. pic.twitter.com/9M8wM6ItNB

— chris evans (@notcapnamerica) May 30, 2023

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Photos are screenshots from ABC News on YouTube and via social media

Last week, we heard that King Charles would be taking a vacation at his home in Transylvania at the beginning of June. The focus was on how Camilla will not travel with him (she’s staying at her country home in England) and how Charles loves the simple, rural pleasures of the quaint countryside he calls his home away from home. I thought the timing was weird because during QEII’s reign, June was usually a packed royal schedule of garden parties, horse races (Ascot in particular), polo matches, Trooping the Colour and usually some time wining and dining visiting foreign dignitaries. So why is Charles hobbling off to his Transylvania during such a traditionally busy time for the Windsors? Well, it looks like Charles is going out of his way to avoid his ginger son.

The King will miss the Duke of Sussex’s visit to London next week as he plans to go hiking on his own in Transylvania, The Telegraph understands. Prince Harry is returning to the High Court in early June as he takes Mirror Group Newspapers (MGN) to court over allegations of phone hacking.

However the King’s solo trip to Romania, planned for five days over next week, will coincide with his son’s rare appearance in the UK, meaning the pair are unlikely to see one another.

It comes after the Duke’s flying visit to England for his father’s Coronation earlier this month, where he was in such a rush to get home to California that he was still wearing his medals and morning suit when he arrived for his return flight at Heathrow Airport. It is understood that the Duke spent the night in Windsor at Frogmore Cottage but did not see his brother the Prince of Wales nor speak with his father or stepmother.

It is now understood that the King’s upcoming trip to Romania will fall next week, during which he will recuperate after his Coronation, and will see him stay in his home in rural Transylvania. The Queen will not be accompanying him on the trip, preferring instead to remain in her Wiltshire home.

Meanwhile, Prince Harry is expected to give evidence in person at the MGN trial in London early next week, which will pitch him directly against former Mirror editor Piers Morgan, who has become one of the Sussexes’ most vocal critics. Evidence in his claim is expected to take three days, including opening statements, his time in the witness box, when he will be cross-examined, and MGN’s witnesses.

[From The Telegraph]

While I’m sure there’s still time for this, I’m glad that thus far, the British papers haven’t done twenty million pieces about where Harry could possibly be staying during his stay in England. I expect that information will be guarded tightly, and I also wonder if King Charles knows where his son will be staying? I could make an argument either way. But still, it’s funny that Charles made a point of scheduling his vacation for when he KNEW Harry would be in town. Back in March, when Harry popped up in London for a court hearing, I got the distinct feeling that Charles had no idea that Harry had flown in, nor did anyone else in the family know. That’s why Charles was in such a rush to say he was “too busy” (doing nothing) to meet with Harry. Harry should keep visiting, because it’s hilarious to watch Charles make up all of these excuses for why he can’t see his younger son.

Photos courtesy of Cover Images.

Katie Holmes covers the latest issue of Glamour. She’s promoting Rare Objects, a film in which she stars and directed. It’s adapted from a 2016 Kathleen Tessaro novel. She’s wanted to direct for a while, and you can tell that she’s very proud of her efforts and being able to put this project together. She spends a good chunk of this interview talking about her fashion and why she wears weird stuff (because she wants to) and what it’s like to rewatch Dawson’s Creek. Some highlights:

On Dawson’s Creek: “I was just 18 when we started, and I really appreciated the writing because I felt like, as a teenager, I had so many different feelings, trying to go from being a girl to a woman. And I felt like [creator Kevin Williamson] had this way of putting words to those feelings. So for me, playing that role, I was like, “Oh, that’s what that means. Oh, I get that.” I loved doing it. It was a really fun, profound experience.

She’s rewatched the Creek & whether she thinks the show holds up: “In some ways, yes. Some ways, no. We had our big episode where Jack comes out and I’m so glad we had that episode, and I’m so sad that that is what was happening for people. And I’m so glad that it’s not happening, hopefully, to that extent in today’s world. But I think it [was also] just this combination of Wilmington, North Carolina—so beautiful. There was that sense of innocence. Kevin wrote the simplicity of teen emotions really well.

On social media: “In my life now, I don’t go on social media that much. I don’t scroll that much because I don’t want all that information. And maybe because I did come up where there was a time and place for things, even with our show—it started airing on Tuesday nights and you had to wait a week. So you got to think about that one episode. The work was limited to that. We also were protected. We were in North Carolina, we were working 14 hours a day, and we were really contained and not really distracted by the outside world, which was to our benefit and to the benefit of the show, so we could do what we had to do.

She didn’t want to play the sexy young thing: “I didn’t want to be the sexy young thing. I am not sexy. I used to have a friend of mine come to all my photo shoots to make sure that they didn’t try to make me that way.

Whether there was a role she wanted but didn’t get: “The [2002] movie 40 Days and 40 Nights. Originally, there was a read-through, and it was going to be me and Ashton Kutcher and [American Pie star and Holmes’s The Wanderers costar] Eddie Kaye Thomas. And I didn’t know this, Eddie just told me, but he had gotten into a fender bender on the way to the table read and the reading just didn’t go well. There were executives and all that, and you could just feel it. I remember leaving going, Oh, my God, what just happened? It wasn’t meant to be. They ended up making it with another cast.

Why people are fascinated with her fashion: “I really don’t know. I enjoy [fashion]. I mean, I enjoy the craftsmanship. I enjoy putting things together. And I work with [stylist] Brie Welch, and she’s very detail oriented, and that inspires me. I think it is very creative. I love vintage shopping. I love the art of design.

Seeing her daughter embrace ‘90s style: “I think the ’90s style is exactly back. Makes me feel old. We lived through that already! My mom says she should have saved things. I should have saved things.

[From Glamour]

I’m actually glad we didn’t try to save things from the 1990s because what we wore then wouldn’t have held up physically for the most part. I mean, vintage everything was in style, your clothes were supposed to be cheap and threadbare, hopefully ripped. You never wore new jeans. The ideal outfit involved combat boots, ripped jeans and cheap flannel. But yeah, it’s funny to watch the youths try to reinvent that. The one thing I’ll say is that jeans were so much better in the ‘90s. I’ve never really thought about it this way, but I guess Katie Holmes is sort of a ‘90s fashion icon, in that she’s trying to navigate all of the weird fashion trends with her ‘90s eye even today. As for all the talk about Dawson’s Creek – I agree that the show captured something special about teen life in that era, but I also agree that parts of the show really don’t hold up.

Cover courtesy of Glamour, additional photos courtesy of Backgrid & Avalon Red.