SPOILERS for the finale of Succession.

The entire raison d’être of Succession was in the name of the show. Succession creator Jesse Armstrong gave fans something unique in the third episode of the last season: the death of Logan Roy. Then we got to see the messy, chaotic fight for who would win the game of thrones, which sibling could wrest control of the sprawling company, Waynestar Royco, in the wake of Logan’s death. It was clear that none of the kids should have it, that they were all incompetent idiots, although one could make the case that Kendall was the arguably the best candidate. I worried that the finale would be Kendall getting everything he thought he wanted and realizing too late that he couldn’t do it, or that he only wanted it because he wanted to screw over his siblings. I’m so glad that wasn’t the case.

Kendall did come close though. He came within one board vote. It all came down to Shiv and… wow. I didn’t expect it to go down the way it did, with Kendall, Shiv and Roman literally brawling in the office. That scene… Roman repeating what his father said about Ken’s children, Roman motioning to Shiv and telling Ken, “she’s the bloodline.” Kendall’s argument of “I am the eldest boy” which… he’s not. Ken grabbing Roman by the face, Shiv marching back into the boardroom to vote for the GoJo deal (off-camera!!). It was all perfect.

The scene between Alexander Skarsgard’s Lukas and Matthew Macfayden’s Tom Wambsgans was perfect too, an excellent payoff for the weird sexual energy between Shiv and Lukas. Ultimately, Lukas doesn’t make business decisions with his d–k. He didn’t want to install an American CEO he wanted to sleep with. Lukas wanted someone morally neutral, compliant and yet somewhat connected to the family. Tom was truly the perfect candidate. Tom won the game of thrones and… he was the right choice. The scene in the car between Tom and Shiv was amazing too. And the scene on the phone, earlier in the episode, where Shiv basically asks Tom if they could possibly stay together but for real.

Anyway, I loved the characters brought back for the finale. It was great to see so much of Caroline, for Stewy to have some scenes, for Roman to freak out when he saw Gerri. I loved everything at Caroline’s house although we could sense that those sibling good-vibes wouldn’t last. They did not last an entire 24 hours. I’m not sure they lasted 12 hours? It shows that those good vibes are not their natural state. Their natural state is “at each other’s throats.”

Also: Kendall sitting alone on a bench, staring out on the water… big Michael Corleone vibes. Except that Shiv freed them all.

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Photos courtesy of HBO/Succession, Cover Images.

Last week, I made this Pajiba explainer the lead story on the links page. The explainer was for the weeks-long controversy over ITV’s This Morning cohosts Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby. Holly and Phillip were longtime cohosts and friends, and she supported him when his marriage (to a woman) fell apart and he came out as gay back in 2020. But something shifted over the month of May – there were rumors that Holly and Phillip had a huge falling out, there were rumors of a high-level coverup, there were rumors that Phillip had behaved inappropriately with a coworker. Well, now we know what was behind all of the British euphemisms and open-secrets: Phillip Schofield groomed and engaged in an inappropriate sexual relationship with a much-younger male employee. This is why ITV suddenly fired Schofield and why everyone connected to Schofield professionally and personally is in ass-covering mode.

Phillip Schofield has quit ITV after admitting he had an affair with a younger male ITV employee and lied to cover it up. The ex-This Morning host said the relationship with his junior colleague was “unwise but not illegal”. In a statement to the Daily Mail, Schofield said he “met the man when he was a teenager and was asked to help him to get into television”. He apologised for lying to colleagues, employers, the media and public.

An ITV spokesperson said they were “deeply disappointed by the admissions of deceit” made by Schofield and confirmed it had cut all ties with the host. It means the 61-year-old will no longer present the British Soap Awards next month. He will also not front a new prime-time series which ITV had said last week they were developing with him.

Schofield left his role at This Morning last week after reports of a rift with co-star Holly Willoughby. He said his departure from the show was unrelated to the affair with the colleague, who the BBC is not naming. The TV presenter was still married to his wife Stephanie Lowe at the time of the relationship. They separated in 2020, after Schofield came out as gay.

Schofield said he was “so, very, very sorry” for being unfaithful to his wife, and for lying to his colleagues, agents, employers, friends, the media and the public. The TV host said he would reflect on his “very bad judgement in both participating in the relationship and then lying about it”.

An ITV spokesperson said: “The relationships we have with those we work with are based on trust. Phillip made assurances to us which he now acknowledges were untrue and we feel badly let down.”

Some former ITV daytime figures, including Eamonn Holmes and Dan Wootton, have suggested the network has questions to answer about how much managers knew about the relationship and what action they took.

[From BBC]

ITV had to release a second statement in which they explained that they “investigated” the rumors of the relationship back in 2020 and both Schofield and this much-younger man repeatedly denied everything. When the story broke on Friday, Holly didn’t say anything, although it’s widely assumed that she was a big reason why Phillip was pushed out of This Morning. Then, on Saturday, she posted this on her IG Stories: “It’s taken time to process yesterday’s news. When reports of this relationship first surfaced, I asked Phil directly if this was true and was told it was not. It’s been very hurtful to find out that was a lie. Holly.”

So, yeah – I haven’t followed the drama, but I was aware there was a drama and that it was all very hush-hush for weeks. It feels like Holly learned something big (perhaps the totality of Phillip’s lies and behavior) about a month ago and she began the process of cutting ties with him and trying to salvage her professional reputation. Will that work? I truly don’t know. It’s also interesting because this scandal really was an open secret among many in the British media, including some of the worst royal reporters. How many Schofield defenders have egg on their face? How much did ITV know and when did they know it?

Schofield has finally been caught out … But he’s not the only guilty party. 4 high members of Itv management knew what sort of man he was …and NEVER once took action to prevent him controlling or taking advantage of his position over young people.

— Eamonn Holmes OBE (@EamonnHolmes) May 26, 2023

Hopefully the uproar around ITV’s alleged coverups will lead to other offenders in the media industry, particularly those who think they have gotten away with the most stomach-churning of crimes, losing their ring of protection, too. Time to put morals over money.

— Omid Scobie (@scobie) May 27, 2023

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.

On Monday, the Princess of Wales made an unannounced visit to the Chelsea Flower Show, where she had bused in schoolkids and arranged for a picnic and photo-op. All week, I believed that Kate brought her own photographers to document the photo-op – she did not. She just made the “picnic” arrangements for Media Day at the flower show, so there were dozens of photographers already on site when she arrived. Of course all of the photographers booked it to her event. Those same photographers didn’t pay much attention to King Charles and Queen Camilla’s appearance at the flower show just a short time later, and it was Kate who appeared on the cover of most of the British papers. This royal thunder-stealing has been a major story all week, with various royal sources going back and forth about whether Charles is seething about being upstaged by his daughter-in-law. Richard Eden’s sources say that Charles IS furious. Robert Jobson’s sources said of course Charles is totally fine with it. What say Tom Sykes’ sources? Well, it’s interesting. Some highlights:

Upstaging the king: “Charles is unlikely to be amused,” a friend of the king’s told The Daily Beast. “Gardens are very much his thing, and given that it was always his mother’s big pre-Trooping the Colour day out, I think he has a right to be annoyed.”

Kate’s friend thinks the whole thing is pathetic: However a friend of Kate’s disagreed with that characterization. Referring to a report in the Daily Mail which quoted a Palace source as saying it was “a shame” that Charles and Camilla’s visit “received less coverage than might have been expected” and suggested they might be “disappointed,” the friend told The Daily Beast: “It’s pathetic. It’s the media whipping up another feud. Kate has been going to Chelsea Flower show with her family since before she was a royal, and she often used to go as well as the Queen [Elizabeth] in recent years. It wasn’t a secret that she was going.”

But Kate didn’t coordinate the visit with Buckingham Palace: Asked if that meant the visits would have been actively co-ordinated between their offices, the friend said not, but added: “William and Kate are now very senior figures as the coronation made clear. Charles wouldn’t have needed the queen’s permission to attend the Chelsea Flower Show and Kate doesn’t need Charles’ permission to go to the Chelsea Flower Show. It’s a massive storm in a teacup. Charles couldn’t care less.”

Kate insists it was a “private visit,” lmao: Kate’s camp have been keen to stress that the unannounced Chelsea visit was made in a private capacity, but this has cut little ice with the media as she attended on the official press day. One photographer, Richard Pohle, who wrote an entertaining account of the chaos and panic that attended Kate’s last-minute trip to the show in The Times, addressed this when he said that a rumor photographers would be prevented from photographing Kate had irked them. He wrote: “This was press day, our day. We had been invited to photograph everything that happens. Now a royal was arriving and we were supposed to ignore it? Thankfully this rumor was quickly crushed.”

The real story is that the two royal courts aren’t communicating: Intriguingly, however, Robert Jobson did appear to suggest, at the same time as smoothing ruffled feathers, that the Chelsea double-booking was a situation that would not ideally be repeated, writing: “The Palace is conscious that with less so-called ‘working royals’ the grid system of engagements must complement each other.” This is the real point here, and it is an eloquent example of the lack of communication between the different individuals’ offices.

Why Charles is irritated: The lack of communication between Charles and Kate’s people, another friend of the king and queen told The Daily Beast, is probably the most irritating thing about the events of this week for Charles. “It just looks ridiculous if they both turn up separately to the same event, and Charles understands that. It gives the media the chance to stir things up. But after everything he has been through with Harry over the past few years, Charles has an enormous appreciation for William and Catherine and the work they do. No-one thinks this is the beginning of a new war between their courts.” Maybe not, but it would be unwise to allow the existential silliness of a story about rivalry at a flower show to occlude the simple truth that Charles would have rather Kate had not been at Chelsea on the same day as he was.

The Wales court is leaner & more fancam-happy: Their courts are distinct; Charles’ operation is more wily, grand and formal, while William and Kate run a leaner, call-me-by-my-first-name operation, and one that is, as the recent post-coronation Instagram video showed, significantly more clued-up when it comes to online. Their staff are youthful, with a smattering of digital natives who would find using the very term “court” to describe themselves almost hilarious.

[From The Daily Beast]

“It’s pathetic. It’s the media whipping up another feud” – don’t you know that’s Kate’s job??! Kate is the only one who gets to whip up feuds, which is why she arranged for Black and brown children to be bused into the Chelsea Flower Show ON MEDIA DAY, knowing that the king and queen were scheduled to appear as well! Call me crazy, but I actually think Charles and Camilla have every right to be irritated by Kate. Perhaps it is petty and jealous, but it’s also just, like, girl, be real. Kate knew what she was doing. Kate didn’t even inform Buckingham Palace about her plan, because she knew they would try to shut her down. Kate is feeling herself, that’s the real story – she doesn’t care that she upstaged the king and queen. And that alone is hilarious.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

Here are some photos from Day 2 of King Charles and Queen Camilla’s “surprise” visit to Northern Ireland this week. Day 1 saw them opening up a public garden and staggering around a garden party. Day 2 saw them visiting a library, attending some multi-faith church thing and meeting with immigrant children. From what I’ve seen in the British papers, the king and queen’s visit didn’t get too much coverage. Perhaps that’s a good thing, judging from the photos and this Times article. Camilla looked like she was getting sh-thoused at one of the stops, and she told the immigrant children that they “speak very good English.” Deep sigh.

Like the King, Queen Camilla is an avid gardener. However, on a visit to Northern Ireland she has admitted that, aged 75, all that weeding and pruning usually leaves her “creaking”. The Queen was visiting the 252-year-old Armagh Robinson library on the second day of the couple’s two-day visit to the province.

While there she was shown parts of Joseph Paxton’s Magazine of Botany, which is a collection of illustrated advice for gardeners. Speaking to members of Dementia NI, she said: “I love gardening. I’m a passionate gardener. And it’s very therapeutic. But I always stay too long. Everything creaks and groans.”

Camilla was greeted by a table of library volunteers, a group of children from Drelincourt School, whose English is a second language. She told the volunteers: “This is very special what you are doing. The whole country would collapse without volunteers. Thank goodness there is a lot of you about. Volunteers also get as much out as they give.”

Speaking to children, some who only arrived in Northern Ireland two weeks ago, she said: “You speak very good English.”

Angela Baleva, six, who was born in Portugal and whose first language is Bulgarian, handed the Queen a picture she had coloured in from the Lindisfarne Gospels. She said: “I told the Queen I thought she was beautiful and she said thank you.”

[From The Times]

“The whole country would collapse without volunteers” – pay people for their work, my god. A country built on volunteerism (unpaid labor) cannot be sustained. “You speak very good English” – I’m sure Camilla meant that as a compliment but it irritated me, thinking about how difficult it is for immigrant families in any country, how quickly they’re forced to acclimate and for the sole comment on their experience to be about how well they speak English. Irritating. As for everything creaking and groaning with Camilla… yeah, the orthopedic kitten wedges speak volumes.

Photos courtesy of Cover Images.

Noel Gallagher spoke to Spin this week to promote a variety of projects. But the real news is that Noel Gallagher is, as always, spicy as ever. If he’s not criticizing Prince Harry for… beefing with his family, he’s talking sh-t about people within the music industry. Noel’s 55 years old, and he was part of one of the most successful bands of the 1990s and it’s given him a unique perspective on music today and the younger a–holes within the music industry. This Spin interview is making news because Noel destroyed Taylor Swift’s racist boyfriend in just a handful of sentences. That’s right, Noel Gallagher has some thoughts on Matt Healy and The 1975. LMAO. Some highlights from Spin:

SPIN: Did you hear what Matty Healy of the 1975 said about Oasis a few months ago?
Noel Gallagher: Oh, that f-cking slack-jawed f-ckwit. What did he say?

Spin: Among other things, he said, “Can you imagine being in potentially – right now, still – the coolest band in the world, and not doing it because you’re in a mard with your brother?”
NG: He would never be able to imagine it. He needs to go over how sh-t his band is and split up.

Spin: Did you hear any of this AI Oasis music that recently popped up?
NG: F–king embarrassing. I just think people clearly have too much time and money on their hands if they’re f–king around with that for a laugh. I mean, who wants to f–king hear Ringo Starr singing “She’s Electric” and Freddie Mercury singing “Don’t Look Back in Anger?” Life’s too short for that sh-t.

Spin: What do you think of AI?
NG: AI will be the final nail in the coffin of music. I’m sure that the major record labels are now working on the technology to copyright it and machines will write music. Why hire a songwriter when you can own a machine to do it? Then Harry Styles can pump out Harry Styles music for the rest of his f–king life.

Spin: Let’s talk soccer. Do you think Manchester City can win the treble? Which, of course, would include knocking off your city rivals Manchester United in the FA Cup final.
NG: It’s f–king on, and those guys [Manchester United] are about as relevant as the 1975.

[From Spin]

“F–king slack-jawed f–kwit” is poetry. THIS is a lyricist at work. And calling The 1975 a sh-t band and saying they should split up – *chef’s kiss*. What did Matt Healy ever do to Noel Gallagher, I wonder? Or do you think it’s just Noel starting sh-t unprovoked? It could be either, but I’d love to know the backstory if there is one.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid.

Just days after King Charles’s coronation, the Duchess of Edinburgh was traveling through London with her police escort. One of the police motorcyclists was traveling at high speed (apparently, the whole motorcade was speeding) and the police motorcyclist struck an 81-year-old woman named Helen Holland. Holland was apparently thrown 40 feet from the force of the impact. She was hospitalized and in a coma for a few weeks before she passed away this week. Sophie issued two statements – one statement days after her RPO struck Holland, and one statement after Holland passed away. There’s been no mention of a formal apology from Sophie or the police, nor has there been any offer to take care of funeral costs, nor Sophie meeting with the family. Sophie has just been carrying on like nothing happened, enjoying horse shows and garden parties. Well, now Helen Holland’s family says that they don’t blame Sophie. Convenient. I guess the check is in the mail.

The family of a pensioner mown down and killed by a police motorcycle escorting the Duchess of Edinburgh have insisted they don’t blame Sophie for the tragedy – as they laid the blame squarely with police. Helen Holland, 81, clung on to life for nearly two weeks before the agonising decision was made to turn off her life support machine on Tuesday. She had suffered massive brain trauma, as well as broken bones and internal injuries, after being flung 40ft down the busy road in west London as Sophie, 58, left a garden party at Buckingham Palace.

During a visit to the scene of the tragedy, Mrs Holland’s grieving son Martin sought to show his support for Sophie, as he declared: ‘It’s not Sophie’s fault. We don’t blame her – the police did it. This is not anti-royal, no way. My mother loved the royals.’

Mr Holland, a project director for a building firm, has been calling for reforms to police escorts since the horrifying collision. He said: ‘It’s outriders going at high speed to stop traffic at lights [before the VIP sweeps through]. They’ve got to think of a better way. I know the royals need to be protected but they need to do it so it doesn’t endanger the public.’

The police bike hit Mrs Holland at a junction in Earl’s Court in west London on the afternoon of May 10. She died on Tuesday, in a revelation that ‘deeply saddened’ the Duchess of Edinburgh. Today, Mrs Holland’s son Martin, 57, daughter-in-law Lisa, 51, and sister Dorothy, 88, paid an emotional visit to the scene of the collision. They attached a bouquet of flowers to a lamppost by the crossing and laid a single stem in the road in memory to the beloved pensioner.

Dorothy, who Mrs Holland had been visiting before the fatal smash, said her younger sister was well aware of the risks presented by the busy three-lane route in Earl’s Court, saying: ‘She’s been here many, many times. She knew how dangerous is was. She wasn’t in any hurry. She wanted to leave early because the trains were funny that day and she didn’t want to rush. She was a cautious person and very conscious of the road.’

Dorothy, who didn’t want her surname to be used, revealed a police patrol car refused to take her to hospital as she struggled to hail a taxi after learning her sister was slipping away. ‘I couldn’t get a taxi so I flagged a police car down. I said my sister was dying and I couldn’t find a taxi. He said “We’re not a taxi service” and drove off. I don’t blame them. He didn’t know who I was and I was probably incoherent. I expect I was crying at the time. I can’t remember.’

There was no contact from the Met until Wednesday this week, when an email arrived. Mr Holland is not reading it until he is with his three brothers but said the subject mentioned ‘deepest sympathies’. The Duchess has offered her ‘deepest condolences’ to the family and is understood to be planning to speak to them privately.

[From The Daily Mail]

The Holland family is more forgiving than me. In their shoes, I would have already met with lawyers and issued some strongly-worded statements about why the f–k does Sophie need this kind of police escort, the kind which puts the public in mortal danger. While Sophie wasn’t driving, it’s asinine that she hasn’t shown more sympathy for the 81-year-old woman mowed down in the street by her police escort. Again, think about how the media would be reacting if one of the Sussexes’ security people mowed down a senior.

Photos courtesy of Cover Images.

The first part of the Vanderpump Rules season 10 reunion aired and it was great TV. I watched on Peacock the next morning so I could enjoy it in all its uncensored glory and it did not disappoint. For the first time, Andy Cohen did one-on-one interviews with the three cast members at the center of the affair. They haven’t aired anything from Raquel’s yet, but Ariana’s was more of what we’ve seen from her lately and Tom’s was him trying to hedge and justify and play the victim. But the real drama started when the main cast all sat down (sans Raquel for now) together with Andy and Lisa Vanderpump.

Raquel’s Text to Ariana: During the reunion, fans saw the first interaction Raquel and Ariana had about the affair after a heated phone call as things were unraveling. The Florida native wrote “You are dead to me,” to which the California native replied with an apology. “Ariana, I don’t know what to say right now besides I really f—ked up and I am so so so sorry,” Raquel wrote, to which Ariana answered, “Shut the f—k up you f—king RAT.”

Sandoval and Raquel’s 1st Hookup: “So we had that guys’ night at the Mondrian and that very next See You Next Tuesday. They were filming and we weren’t a part of it. But then a bunch of us went to The Abbey and it was that night,” Sandoval revealed. “We had that first time and then we took a break. After we went to Life Is Beautiful [in September 2022] — which was after we wrapped.”

Sandoval Addresses His and Ariana’s Issues: According to the Missouri native, he felt like Ariana’s “gay BFF” ahead of their split. “We put on a front when we were filming,” he told Andy. “For us to have these issues and to keep them from people? I don’t think it was fair to the rest of the cast.” In unseen footage, which was filmed in September 2022, Sandoval confided in a producer about the challenges in his relationship. “I feel guilty. When people put themselves out there. Like, it’s not fair. I feel like it is important for us to talk about this s—t and not pretend like it is all amazing,” he said off screen during filming at SUR.

James and Sandoval’s Fight: The professional DJ nearly got physical with Sandoval multiple times after the bar owner questioned the validity of their former friendship. Andy stepped in to get James to take a break — as Raquel watched the drama unfold in a separate area due to her temporary restraining order against Scheana Shay.

Schwartz Admits He Was Hinting at Sandoval and Raquel’s Affair: During the reunion, Andy asked Schwartz if his comment about Raquel having a crush on someone else was secretly about Sandoval. “Honestly yeah. Subconsciously or whatever … I am not an idiot. You told me that day [at the end of August 2022] about the one-night stand. And then things went back to normal,” the Minnesota native shared. “Without a doubt about it throughout the fall leading up to the new year, they spent an inappropriate amount of time together. F—k yeah they did.”

[From US Weekly]

James and Lala were kind of a Greek chorus during the reunion. Their side commentary was everything the audience was likely thinking and their reads of both Toms and Lisa were completely correct. My only quibble would be they were too quick to jump on the Toms when they really should have let the guys talk and dig their own holes. It was clear throughout the one-on-one and group interview that Tom Sandoval is still lying and Tom Schwartz is trying to cover up for him poorly. Schwartz completely blew up Sandoval’s timeline about the affair, but no one was surprised. And Schwartz is a total jerk for knowing about the affair and sh-t-stirring in front of Ariana while glamping. Lisa was defending Tom way too much, but she and the other Tom are really his only allies and clear lines have been drawn. I honestly can’t wait til next week when they get Raquel on the stage too. It’s going to be a sh-tshow at the f-ck factory because while Tom at least knows he should show remorse (and he probably actually feels it for himself), Raquel doesn’t seem to have any idea how to even attempt to redeem herself.

photos are screenshots from YouTube

Many have theorized – correctly, I believe – that the Windsors are doing so many “secret” and “unannounced” events these days because they’re terrified of being protested. In the lead-up to the coronation, every single time King Charles stepped outside, Republic staged a protest near his events, and those protests kept getting bigger and louder. Even the so-called “most popular royals,” Prince William and Kate, have gotten heckled by protesters, although it’s nowhere near the level directed at Charles and Camilla. Well, during her events yesterday, the Princess of Wales had to dodge some protesters. By my count, fewer than a dozen people were out, holding signs and yelling. But it’s a significant shift – has Kate ever been protested by republicans while doing solo events?

A protestor couldn’t shake Kate Middleton’s focus during her latest royal duty.

The Princess of Wales, 41, stepped out at the Foundling Museum in London on Thursday morning, the first of two early childhood-related engagements. As seen in videos shared to Twitter by Richard Palmer of the Daily Express, a lone protestor awaited her arrival at the park across the street. The royal reporter described the sight as a “very small republican protest,” and a police officer could be seen speaking with the woman holding signs reading “#Born Free” and “Monarchy is child abuse.”

Princess Kate didn’t react to the activist as she exited the Foundling Museum after the hour-long visit. The protestor stood with well-wishers and chanted “Born equal,” according to footage from royals reporter Victoria Ward.

Another voice in the crowd intermittently cried “Boo,” though it’s unclear whether the yelling was meant to support or stop the protestor. According to Ward, the activist was not affiliated with Republic, the anti-monarchy group that protested on King Charles’ coronation day.

[From People]

Yeah, I don’t think these were Republic protests either. In fact, we haven’t heard much from Republic since the Chubbly, where cops arrested dozens of people for the crime of carrying yellow signs in public. The signs yesterday weren’t yellow and it appeared to be a simple, organic protest against Kate. They could prepare because Kate’s events yesterday were announced in advance. It’s definitely interesting.

There’s a very small republican demonstration as the princess arrives…. pic.twitter.com/geH4Pk7H8q

— Rebecca English (@RE_DailyMail) May 25, 2023

Photos courtesy of Cover Images.

Greta Gerwig is a mad genius. I feel bad about talking so much sh-t about her adaptation of Little Women (still the worst version, honestly) because I think Gerwig managed to get everything “right” about what a Barbie movie should be. We’ve already started to get more information about Barbie’s plot – something about Barbie going on a journey into the real world, and Will Ferrell is a Mattel executive and Ryan Gosling’s Ken is “just beach.” The second trailer set a certain tone, but the third trailer is just… magnificent. We get to see where “the wheels come off” as Margot Robbie’s Barbie wonders, mid-dance, if the other Barbies ever think about dying. Then Barbie’s arched feet go flat and panic creeps in. Barbie seeks counsel from Kate McKinnon’s Barbie, who offers her the Barbie version of the red pill/blue pill: a pink pump or a Birkenstock. Barbie goes on a journey and Ken tags along. Because he’s just Ken.

Truly cannot even believe how funny this looks and how perfect this looks. Someone tried to bitch me out in the previous post because I said this looks like it would be great for kids, but I stand by that – not little kids, but tweens? Absolutely. Will Ferrell’s Mattel guy is already cracking me up. All of the Barbies grossed out by her feet… amazing. Ryan Gosling being THE himbo to end all himbos… beautiful. This will get me back to the theater, by god.

Oh, the soundtrack listing came out too, and there is music from Dua Lipa, Nicki Minaj, Ice Spice, Haim & Charli XCX.

Photos courtesy of Warner Bros/Barbie.

Being a woman in the public eye while the legal system says “No, this person didn’t abuse you, and you really need to fulfill your contract with him,” must be completely soul-crushing. We’ve watched Kesha work to come back into her own, and it’s been in turns heartfelt and kooky. Well, all I can say is her work has paid off. On the heels of releasing her fifth studio album, Gag Order, Kesha sat down with Zane Lowe from Apple Music, and in their nearly-one-hour conversation Kesha laid bare how leaning in more to her psychedelic breaks was her way forward:

Anxiety can often feel like one’s brain is playing a trick on them, and Kesha’s opening up about feeling that to the utmost degree.

In a new interview with Apple Music’s Zane Lowe, the singer-songwriter revealed she once had such intense anxiety that she mistook it for a “psychotic break,” noting that she’s since turned to “spirituality” in order to heal.

“I went through this crazy psychedelic spiritual experience in the midst of the anxiety… it was pure anxiety,” said Kesha, 36. “My brain felt like… I thought maybe it was the process of having a psychotic break or something. But then once I just started leaning into it, I was like, ‘Well, it’s happening, so what am I going to do about it?’ ”

She explained that a song from her new album Gag Order was inspired by the experience: “I had this full psychedelic kind of trip sober, and that’s what ‘Eat the Acid’ is written about.”

Released last week, Gag Order finds the “Tik Tok” performer in an especially introspective space, as she sings about mental health and past romantic relationships. Throughout the record, she also seems to allude to her ongoing legal battle with ex-collaborator Lukasz “Dr. Luke” Gottwald.

“I have people that I trust implicitly so much in my life, so I’m very lucky for that. But I have a harder time in romantic relationships fully trusting,” explained Kesha. “I’m going to be honest with you. And yeah, it’s something I work on. That’s why I’m constantly working on myself is because […] selfishly, I’d like to be happy.”

She then detailed another Gag Order track, an emotional ballad titled “Happy,” that discusses her search for peace in its lyrics: “It’s about just that I want to be happy, I want to let go. I want to be free. I want to trust the process, trust the universe, all of those things.”

“And I do feel like I cannot just remain in my childlike self. So there’s an element of having to grow up,” added the Grammy nominee. “And I feel like this album completely documents the time where I was like, ‘OK, I have to deal with some s— and I just need to walk through it, and it’s going to be really uncomfortable. And I feel like it’s really helped me grow into a woman, and you know, you hear it all on the album.”

[From People]

“Selfishly, I’d like to be happy,” is one of the most emotionally honest things I’ve ever heard. And it’s not a bad thing to want! I highly recommend watching the full interview with Zane Lowe. For one thing, I have never seen her look so good. She’s clear-eyed and fresh-faced. I mean, she also seems like at any moment she could start crying, but she wears it as more of a strength than a weakness, and their conversation touches on how overwhelming it can be to take in the world when you’re a sensitive person. It can so easily feel like too much–that’s written all over her face. But she’s still showing up, and she’s investigating anything (spirituality, horoscopes, traditional therapy) that might make it easier. It sounds like making Gag Order (is that a freakin’ brilliant title for her or what?) was cathartic.

Here is the lyric video for Happy:

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