Girls Season 4 Episode 10 recap

Everything is perfect, until it isn’t.

I know how elementary it seems, but I appreciated how delicately Girls approached this theme in their season finale, which was mostly devoid of the guest stars who trod so heavily over this season, and kind of …      

In case you missed it, LeAnn Rimes arrived back home in LA after spending 10 days in London, obsessively tweeting and Instagramming #LeInLondon photos and messages. You’d have thought she was on a holy mission from the way she went on and on about it. Hilariously, while she was gone, there was also a tabloid rumor that she was electronically monitoring Eddie Cibrian’s wandering “bidness” via security cameras and garage door notifications and what have you. Even though the story was denied, don’t you believe it? I do.

But LeAnn is back now. And once again, we were treated to a flurry of tweets and Instagrams. She got out her chalk and looked up some more clichéd inspirationals. She also managed to do a photo-op with Eddie and one of his sons at the kid’s soccer game (plus she posted a special Instagram of father and son).

Don’t hate me, but I actually like her dress here. I love a good slipdress and this one is pretty. Of course, LeAnn messed it up with her crappy styling. In any case… all is right with the world. LeAnn returned home, triumphant. Eddie was in a good mood because he probably got some strange while she was gone. And so a photo-op was arranged. Joyful.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Sharon! Happy Birthday! Was so great to meet you last week at Canada Reads. Please know how much I admire you for taking your son out of school…for a book debate. I hope he keeps reading. I hope he keeps asking questions. I hope you keep gossiping. And staying in my corner! Wishing you the best…      

Dear Gossips,

Last week it was Vogue that turned 25 years old. And very, very soon? It’s almost 25 years to the day that Mimi shot the video for Vision Of Love. The song was then released a month later, in May. You shrug. But do you know the influence of Vision Of Love? Vision Of Love i…      

Here are some photos of Zoe Saldana and her husband Marco Perego at this weekend’s GLAAD Media Awards in LA. Zoe wore this red Cushnie et Ochs dress which… looks okay. She looks pretty in red. She looks sort of tired, which she probably is considering she and Marco have four-month-old twin boys at home. And I find it so refreshing that she hasn’t gotten back down to her pre-pregnancy weight. She looks great!

But enough with the nice stuff. While she was on the red carpet for this GLAAD event, Zoe was asked about Stefano Gabbana and Domenico Dolce’s comments about gay parents, children born from IVF and Elton John’s call to boycott the designers. To recap, Gabbana said: “The only family is the traditional one. No chemical offsprings and rented uterus: life has a natural flow, there are things that should not be changed. You are born to a mother and a father — or at least that’s how it should be. I call children of chemistry, synthetic children. Rented uterus, semen chosen from a catalog.” Elton John’s boycott has been pretty successful on the celebrity front – he’s got people like Madonna, Ricky Martin, Ellen DeGeneres, Victoria Beckham and many more bashing Dolce & Gabbana publicly and agreeing to a boycott. And this whole time, Dolce and Gabbana have been calling their detractors “fascists” and “medieval” for reacting to their statements.

So, when Zoe was asked about it at the GLAAD event, her response was… um… unusual. Especially given that she was at the GLAAD Media Awards! She chose that event to come out for saying Dolce & Gabbana’s terrible comments were no big deal. Here’s her response when asked if Dolce & Gabbana’s comments would cause her to throw out her D&G clothes:

“No! Not at all, that would be the stupidest thing if it affected my fashion choice. People are allowed to their own opinion, however, I wouldn’t have chosen to be so public about something that’s such a personal thing. Obviously it caused some sensitivity, but then again if you continue to follow the news, you see they all kinda hugged it out, so why are we making a big deal about it? I’m certainly not going to stop wearing Dolce, and I’m certainly not going to be refuting when they are adopting synthetic children, however they wanted to say it. I do think things are lost in translation. My husband [Marco Perego] is from Italy and if I judged him based on the words that he misuses in our English language he wouldn’t be here today. It’s like look people, have a drink, relax, it’s okay.”

[From E! News]

I really, really dislike her for using the “lost in translation” card. Dolce & Gabbana aren’t even using the “mistranslated” excuse in the half-dozen interviews they’ve done IN PERFECT ENGLISH in the past week. They said what they meant and they meant what they said. The issue isn’t that they meant to say something other than “your baby is synthetic and gay families are an abomination.” The issue is that they really and truly believe that and they said out loud and they don’t want to face the consequences of other people reacting negatively to their opinions. But it’s no biggie to Zoe because she still gets free Dolce & Gabanna gowns, right?

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

Here are photos of Jennifer Lawrence outside the NYC screening of Serena. She wore a Dior couture mini-dress with side cutouts. I like the sparkly, striped top and the shape of the skirt, but the skirt’s fabric is fussy and fug. JLaw switched outfits for the afterparty, where she wore a black Helmut Lang dress that looked like a drawstring nightie. Her makeup looks nice, and her hair is growing out. This is also a rare public appearance. Jennifer skipped Paris fashion week for her Joy duties in Boston. I hope there haven’t been any more David O. Russell screaming matches, but he’s probably watching his mouth for now.

I have no idea why Magnolia Pictures held a Serena screening. The film’s already available on VOD and earned a dismal 24% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The studio trotted JLaw and Bradley Cooper out for this event anyway. This is their third movie together (and Joy will be their fourth), so Us Weekly asked the duo about their chemistry:

“Honestly, it’s just happenstance,” Cooper said of working so often with Lawrence. “We both got cast in Silver Linings, and she was going to this other movie and the role was open and so that worked out.”

The party took place at the Top of the Standard where guests sipped Belvedere cocktails — named Mountain Moonshine and Pemberton’s Punch, in keeping with the plot of the film.

After their chemistry in Silver Linings Playbook proved to be potent — the film earned Cooper an Oscar nomination and Lawrence a win — they decided to keep it up.

“I respect her so much as a professional, as an actor, and I think she’s the best there is,” the newly single actor said. “I just learn from her. You always want to work with people who are better than you.”

“And I feel the same way about him,” Lawrence added. And though they both cop to being each other’s work spouses, the Dior spokesmodel assured Us that there is “no sex!” in their relationship.

[From Us Weekly]

I doubt there’s ever been any romantic feelings between these two, but since Bradley just broke up with Suki Waterhouse, those old rumors will probably start up again. Is JLaw still with Chris Martin? Who knows. Bradley really likes being in a relationship because he’s very conscious about dating gossip. Now that we know BCoop doesn’t mind going young, he can’t use his fatherly excuse anymore. And he can’t joke about JLaw’s crotch without people drawing conclusions. So I expect Bradley to find a new girlfriend soon. Because with grins like these, gossip is bound to happen.

View image | gettyimages.com

View image | gettyimages.com

Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News & Fame/Flynet

Have you been on Goop.com recently? I do have to give Gwyneth Paltrow and Team Goop some credit, the site is a lot prettier, user-friendly and faster nowadays. Gwyneth hired several proper lifestyle professionals to run Goop, which is why the site seems so much fancier these days. But what that also means is that we’re sometimes missing the personal touch. It used to be that Gwyneth wrote some of the content of her newsletters, or that you could really feel her hand guiding Goop towards her (elite) interests. But these days, we rarely get personal introductions signed by Gwyneth.

What does that have to do with anything? Well, some people are trying to make a new Goop post – “10 Ways to Have a Pain-Free Pregnancy” – into some kind of “Oh, Gwyneth” eye-roll. But here’s the thing: I kind of doubt she wrote it. She might have approved it, but I seriously doubt she wrote it. Anyway, would you like to know Gwyneth’s tips to have a pain-free pregnancy? #1: Be rich. #2: No, seriously, be rich and don’t have a real job where it would be frowned upon if you doused yourself head-to-toe in almond oil and got on all fours (or maybe your boss is into that). Goop’s Guide To Elite Pregnancy (you can read the full piece here). Here are my comments on Goop’s advice.

Don’t massage your lower back. Because of nerve endings or whatever. Just pay someone to massage your butt muscles. And sleep on your side.

Douse yourself in almond oil. Put lots on your stomach, thighs and boobs.

Get reflexology on your feet. Do not get foot massages, get reflexology. But never let anyone near your ankles.

Spend a lot of time on all fours, because it relieves the pressure.

Spend a lot of time in water, be it a bathtub, pool or ocean.

Try to only gain 2.2 pounds a month, you fat peasant.

Eat a lot of bananas, “steel cut oats, brown rice or grapefruit” because you’re probably constipated. Drink warm water with lemon. And lots of ginger tea.

Do NOT eat cow’s milk diary, fatty meats, pork, roasted peanuts and peanut butter. Also avoid fruit juices like orange juice and tomato juice, all wheat, sugar and sweeteners.

Don’t get stressed out. Meditate and take a lot of naps.

Have a birth plan but give yourself a break if you want an epidural or whatever.

[Paraphrased From Goop]

I’m sure most of this is good advice for pregnant ladies, but I rolled my eyes at the diet restrictions. I know she means well, but she can’t help but create a long list of food that you’re never supposed to eat. And of course, after telling you all of the food you’re supposed to never touch and basically calling you a fat peasant if you dare to gain three pounds a month, she then gently reminds you not to get stressed out. Here’s a perfect solution to avoid a stressed-out pregnancy: have fun, get as much sleep as possible and eat what your body is telling you to eat. If you want a donut, don’t feel bad. If you want a steak, go ahead. You’re growing a human, which means if you want a steak with a donut chaser, that’s what you should have.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Breaking Hunterbatch news! Benedict Cumberbatch’s knocked up bride Sophie Hunter has a feature in the April issue of Vogue. American Vogue, not Vogue UK!! We should have guessed (and I think I did guess) that this would happen when Sophie sat front row with Anna Wintour at the Valentino show in late January.

Right now, Vogue hasn’t officially released their feature, so this is just a preview of coming attractions. My guess? One photo of Sophie, perhaps wearing Valentino or maybe even Erdem, and maybe a 400-word write up? We do know the name of the profile… “The Divine Mrs. Cumberbatch.” Gag. I’m sorry. But… ugh. This is like the budget-‘Batch version of George Clooney and Amal Alamuddin. Everyone is falling all over themselves to talk about how amazing it is that Benedict found his “equal.” Someone Vogue-worthy. Someone chic, fashionable, and “age appropriate.”

Speaking of, The Daily Telegraph (Australia) had a short column this weekend from a Cumberbitch. She talked about how amazing it is that Bendy married someone “accomplished, mature (36 to his 38) and for all intents and purposes, an intelligent human being…There is something incredibly sexy about a man who marries a smart, successful woman.” You can read it here. The truth is that I like the simple fact that Benedict went with a woman who is basically his age and the same kind of education and family background too. But I also think we’re being sold this grand love story when the truth of the matter is that she got knocked up when they had only been dating a few months and everything got pulled together very quickly.

Oh, and some Cumberbitches are trying to create a conspiracy theory about the Vogue feature, like Sophie was supposed to get a cover or something. I doubt it. Really. I think it’s a coup that she got a feature in American Vogue simply for getting knocked up by and married to Benedict. A feature in Vogue UK? Sure. But American Vogue? That shows you how much Anna Wintour likes Benedict.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

Serena Williams covers the April issue of Vogue Magazine, “The Shape Issue.” Annie Leibovitz shot the cover. Thoughts? There is a lot of online debate as to whether this is brilliantly “undone” or just not “Vogue” enough. I tend to like it, but then I appreciate the fact that Anna Wintour put one of the greatest athletes of all time on the cover, and that the athlete happens to be a black woman and a curvy and physically strong woman. I’m fine with the “undone” no-makeup sort of look and her wonderful hair, I just sort of wish they had put Serena in a different dress because this Rag & Bone sheath is kind of meh.

As for the article, it’s pretty cute actually – you can read the full thing here. While Serena got the cover, the article is all about her friendship with Caroline Wozniacki and how they’re BFFs for life and Caroline is photographed and interviewed extensively too. Apparently, Serena helped Caroline through her broken engagement to Rory McIlroy (Serena had even planned the bachelorette party). The article ends up being a great glimpse of two warrior-athletes on the court who can maintain a very real, authentic friendship off the court. Some assorted quotes:

Serena on female friendships: “Let’s just put an end to this myth that women players cannot be friends. We can!”

Beating Maria Sharapova in Australia: “I was really calm and positive. I knew I couldn’t get crazy on the court. I have done everything I wanted to do in tennis. There’s nothing missing, so all I have to do is go out there and do what I do best.”

She’s not the same person off the court: “On the court, I am fierce! I am mean and I am tough. I am completely opposite off the court. My confidence just isn’t the same. I wish I was more like I am on the court. Nobody would know that I am constantly crying or complaining.”

Serena on being #1: “It’s hard and lonely at the top. That’s why it’s so fun to have Caroline and my sister, too. You’re a target when you’re number one. Everyone wants to beat you. Everyone talks behind your back, and you get a lot more criticism. God forbid I lose. It’s like ‘Why?’ Well, I am human. There are always people who aren’t going to like you. Look at Jesus; there are people who didn’t like him.” [Caroline says, “Wait, are you comparing yourself to Jesus?”] Serena Says: “Oh, God, no, I am far from it. As everyone knows. But as a Christian, I do try to be Christlike.”

Whether Serena wants to start a family: “I guess. I’m not even looking for it.”

[From Vogue]

After reading the full piece, I do think Caroline and Serena’s relationship is really sweet and cute. Serena seems very kind to Caroline, like she sees her as a younger sister. I do think that it’s probably a great thing for young girls to see – that you can be one of the greatest athletes in the world and still be friends with your competition. Except, somewhat hilariously, Serena doesn’t have this kind of relationship with another one of her main competitors, Maria Sharapova. I’ve heard that Maria and Serena have nothing but shade for each other.

Photos courtesy of Annie Leibovitz/VOGUE and WENN.

This is a photo of Rob Kardashian with Kim in 2009. They look so different! Kim’s butt was smaller than her rack. We haven’t talked about sock mogul Rob in a long time. He turned into a recluse after bailing on the Kimye wedding last May. His family (all except for Kim) and friends worried about him, and he deleted his social media content. We heard Rob was abusing Sizzurp. The guy is a real mess. I do feel bad for him, but I think he’d be as superficial as his family if his ongoing weight struggle didn’t bother him.

Rob and Kim haven’t gotten along in quite some time. Kim is not sympathetic towards Rob and believes he brings down the family name. He probably bailed on her (third) wedding because she bashed his weight. There’s no love lost between them.

Something happened yesterday. Rob seemingly broke his radio silence and Instagrammed a graphic screenshot from the movie Gone Girl. The picture shows a bloodied Amy Dunne and could be considered a spoiler (for the 5 people who haven’t seen the movie). I’m including the photo at the bottom of this post. Rob added the caption, “This is my sister kim , the bitch from Gone Girl,,,” It’s funny. Rob’s comparing Kim to a selfish, sociopathic beast who stops at nothing to achieve her own twisted ideals. But he’s giving Kim too much credit. She’s not an accomplished schemer like Amy. Kim simply made her “movie” at the right time and arrived at the height of selfie madness. The Kardashians are successful for a reason, but they didn’t plan it out.

More male Kardashian news. Scott Disick’s Costa Rican rehab stint will end prematurely. Scott was supposed to stick around for three weeks, but he’s leaving momentarily because his work schedule is so busy.

Here’s the picture Rob Instagrammed yesterday.

This is my sister kim , the bitch from Gone Girl,,,

A photo posted by ROBERT KARDASHIAN (@robkardashian) on Mar 22, 2015 at 10:38am PDT

Photos courtesy of Rob Kardashian on Instagram, Fame/Flynet & WENN