Here are some photos of Pippa Middleton at the ParaSnowBall in London last night. Her mint-green dress is by Hugo Boss. I know many of you think Pippa is the poster girl for “Basic,” but I actually do think she looks pretty sometimes. This is one of them. Would I prefer this look without the absurdly orange, sun-damaged-looking skin? For sure. But otherwise, this is a great look. Great color, clean, lovely silhouette, and very flattering overall.

This event was a celebration for British para-sports, and Pippa mingled with “a host of medalists and snowsports enthusiasts to celebrate British para-sports at the event.” Pippa is also going to do the British Heart Foundation’s London to Brighton Bike Ride (54 miles) in June.

Earlier this week, we heard that Pippa’s potential job with the Today Show is not going to happen. She would have made a lot of money, but Page Six made it sound like NBC News didn’t want to sign another famous family member to some lucrative contract for barely any work. But! The Daily Mail made it sound like it was Pippa’s decision to not join the Today Show. A source told The Mail:

“There were talks and Pippa did a test shoot which went really well. But for various reasons, a regular show with Pippa isn’t going to happen. Ultimately she didn’t want to commit herself to a big job in the US. She’s got a boyfriend in Geneva and her family in the UK. It was too much for her to pack up and leave them behind. She will be working with the network on an ad hoc basis. NBC were really pleased with the test shoot, but she is not going to be signing a major deal to be a special correspondent, which is what NBC wanted. It was Pippa’s decision not to go ahead. It’s not where she sees her future.”

[From The Daily Mail]

Do you believe that? I do not. I think Pippa is out for a naked money grab in the colonies and she’s probably very disappointed that the Today Show thing bombed. The Daily Beast had a breakdown of what Pippa should do next for her “career,” since #PippaTips will only carry her so far. Their suggestion? She should go back to her party-planning roots and become a party-planner to the rich and famous… outside of England.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

Sarah and I went for a switch today. She wrote about my #1 Oscar Isaac. And I’m writing about Chris Evans. She goes on and off on him. But the hope is always there. Which is why she was so pissed when she saw these shots of him leaving Fatburger in sweats. Something about how the top muscles …      

Much like this outfit on Katy Perry, it looks like I’ve lost a bet. The last time Katy and John Mayer got back together (two months ago) we took a poll here. Kaiser and CB both thought this latest reconcilation wouldn’t last long. I thought John would be dumb enough to put a ring on it but break off the engagement. Aaaaand I was wrong. In retrospect, I should have guessed something was up when Katy dressed like her version of a goth at Paris Fashion week. Katy always goes dark after a bad split. She was also canoodling with a banjo player (Winston Marshall from Mumford & Sons) in Berlin this weekend.

Now there’s an official reason for her antics. Katy and John broke up (again) for the fourth time. Fourth, right? That we know of. Much like last time (a year ago), there are rumors that John can’t stay faithful. Katy’s camp is (again) putting out details about how she’s too busy with touring to try and make it work. Radar says the reunion was pure convenience (they wanted to hit it), and John can’t handle it when Katy’s career heats up:

That was fast! Just two months after Katy Perry and John Mayer rekindled their romance, RadarOnline.com has learned that the perpetually on-off pair have called it quits again.

According to multiple sources close to the couple, the brief reconciliation was more about convenience than anything else. “Katy and John reconnected once she had a break in her Prismatic World Tour. So, for those few months they had a great time, pretending that it would last — and of course it didn’t,” the source explained.

According to the insider, Perry, 30, and Mayer’s relationship can’t handle the pressures of their careers. “The reason they have split in the past is because Katy gets busy. John can’t handle the lack on attention, and she can’t handle the trust issues she has when she’s so far away,” the source said. “So they’ve learned that it’s better to just take a break when they can’t be in the same place.”

Another source claims that, instead of being happy for his lady, Mayer, 37, had become increasingly jealous of Katy’s success. “The fact that he does not have anything major going on with his career is really starting to take a toll on their relationship,” the source said. “Katy is at an all-time high. She is starting to give in to what everyone around her is saying, that maybe she is too good for him.”

[From Radar Online]

I’m guessing all of this is coming from Katy’s camp because John’s the one getting trashed. He also doesn’t use others to send his messages. This is a guy who’s dumb enough to talk the paparazzi when he wants to trash an ex. With that said, it’s a douche move for Katy’s people to kick John during his career downswing. Yes it’s true that she’s riding at her highest point of success, but she was still dumb enough to take him back! Own your mistakes, girl.

These two are both messes. John just happens to be the bigger, more outwardly arrogant mess. Surely they won’t get back together again for a fifth time, but yeah. I’ll probably lose that bet too.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet & WENN

Oscar Isaac covers the new issue of Details, in advance of his new movie Ex Machina, and oh my god, LOOK AT HIS MAGNIFICENT HAIR. Why have I never noticed this before? Perhaps it’s the length, and/or the fact that it isn’t shellacked to his head. Seems like in movies his hair is usual…      

Aww, this is so cute!

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hill star, Kyle Richards, couldn’t help but share a new and very adorable picture on her Instagram account yesterday. In the picture, we get to see what happens when Kyle’s husband, Mauricio Umansky, gets home! It looks like before he was even able to get out of the car, Portia was all over him! Kyle captioned the photo:

“When Daddy gets home”

Absolutely precious!

Backstage kiss????from an #unapologeticbitch ??#rebelheart

A photo posted by Madonna (@madonna) on Mar 17, 2015 at 9:23pm PDT

I don’t understand why so many of Madonna’s Instagrams are such poor quality. Huh. Anyway, Madonna and Ellen DeGeneres have been making news all week, I guess. I’ve been ignoring it, but I guess I can’t anymore. Madonna appeared on The Ellen Show to shill her album, and wouldn’t you know? Justin Bieber also stopped by. Just so Madonna could flirt with him. In this clip, Ellen, Justin and Madge played “Never Have I Ever.”

It was cute. Madonna and Justin sort of treated each other gently, right? And Madonna’s voice seems especially soft these days. Not that she’s ever been shrill or a screamer or anything, but she definitely seems… softer, right?

Meanwhile, Madge did Us Weekly’s 25 Things You Don’t Know About… feature this week. Us Weekly has only revealed a preview, but it’s already making headlines. Madge says she’s never met Pres. Obama, she’s sick of “Material Girl,” she hates mushrooms, and she loves Drake. She told Us Weekly: “The lifelong ambition I still want to fulfill is to go on a dream date with Drake – and only kiss him.”

Last thing: Madonna finally commented on the ongoing Dolce & Gabbana controversy. She used to be the face of Dolce & Gabbana and she’s been close to the designers for years. She posted one of her old D&G campaign photos with this message:

All babies contain a soul however they come to this earth and their families. There is nothing synthetic about a soul!! So how can we dismiss IVF and surrogacy? Every soul comes to us to teach us a lesson. God has his hand in everything even technology! We are arrogant to think Man does anything on his own. As above so below! Think before you speak.,,,,,,,,,,,??#livingforlove

[From Instagram]

So there you go.

Photos courtesy of Madonna’s Instagram.

Jon Cryer has a new memoir coming out next month. I suppose he wanted to get his side of the story out now that “Two and a Half Men” has finally, mercifully wrapped. The book is called So That Happened and The Hollywood Reporter has an exclusive preview. It’s long and we’ll only be including a few parts here, but it’s a fun, easy read so go there if you’d like to see more.

THR has an excerpt in which Cryer explains his side of Charlie Sheen’s 2009-2011ish breakdown. Cryer tried to walk a delicate line between being a supportive friend and recognizing Sheen’s behavior for the drug-addled, abusive meltdown that is was. He shares/paraphrases some texts that Sheen sent him right after Sheen was arrested for abusing his then-wife, Brooke Mueller, over the holidays in Aspen in 2009. In his messages to Cryer, Sheen always acts like everything is fine. Cryer’s inner monologue is the best. Maybe he had a great ghostwriter, but his dry, self-effacing humor comes across well. Here are some of the best parts, including one in which he admits hiring a hooker, at Sheen’s insistence, to help him get through a rough divorce.

Charlie asked him to hide a bunch of vanilla porn for him
One day during the first season of Two and a Half Men, I got a knock on my trailer door. It was Charlie — my trailer was next to his — and he seemed panicked.

“Dude! Dude! I need your help.” “Sure thing,” I said and ended the cellphone call I was on. “What’s going on?”

He handed me a heavy shopping bag. “Denise is coming over,” he said, “and I need you to hide something for me.” Oh, boy, I thought. If this is drug paraphernalia …

“Is it legal?” I asked. “What? Yeah, oh, yeah. It’s legal. Hey, thanks.” He left, and I had to look.

By legal, he meant barely legal. The bag was filled to the brim with porn.

Curiosity getting the best of me, I had to find out what kind of porn captivates Charlie Sheen, what decadence frightens him into having me squirrel it away for him. Clowns? Golden-shower pictorials? German scat porn starring Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke? I was prepared for the weirdest, but it really was all pretty tame, some of it just topless mags. Really, if this was the worst I’d have to deal with regarding Charlie’s vices, bring on the bags of porn for me to hide

He hired a prostitute from a site Charlie recommended
I was in a bad state right after my divorce, and I certainly didn’t feel dateable. I was an emotional basket case. What good was I to any woman I might have interest in? I decided I might as well pay someone for company and certain intimate pleasures so that I could at least get my equilibrium back with the opposite sex.

Charlie suggested a few online purveyors he occasionally used, as this was when prostitution was gaining a foothold on the Internet. He and I had different tastes, so I didn’t go with his exact recommendations, but my forays into prostitution were about as awkward as you might imagine.

My forays into prostitution were about as awkward as you might imagine. I went with an out-call for my first try, which means they come over to your house. My chosen vendor drove a white BMW and sported a sexy Finnish accent. It was really a very friendly experience, maybe because the act of having sex is quite the conversational icebreaker. The next time, I went to her place, which probably wasn’t really her place. We sat down, tried to make small talk and halfheartedly stumbled into a conversation about recent fluctuations in the stock market. Somehow I ended up spending 25 minutes of my hour helping her with financial planning.

How Charlie responded to him after Charlie’s arrestfor spousal battery
[I] read that… “Carlos Irwin Estevez” has been arrested in Aspen, Colo., for spousal battery [of third wife Brooke Mueller]. Alarmed and freaked out, I texted him: Dude, my thoughts are with you. If you need to talk, give a call; if you’ve got bigger problems, call me when you get back.

Charlie texted back: Thanks bro. Yikes — f— me, wut a bad day … I’m flying home tonite. I’ll try to call over the weekend. Shower rape was bad but the food was okay. Hair and makeup for mug shot got there too late.

He followed that with: And I had same bail bondsman as Kobe. … No joke …

Charlie’s manager, Mark Burg, called me to say that any statement of support I could offer up would be great. I told him I would be happy to but that it sounded like Charlie wasn’t sober anymore, and I hoped he’d get on track again. Situations like this are rough on your sense of friendship and loyalty, because the allegations are serious, yet you know Charlie and Brooke are a drug-troubled pair, and Charlie’s your longtime friend who was proud of his sobriety, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t do something to her, and you should give a woman the benefit of the doubt when she’s been abused, and oh, boy…

How Charlie parlayed his arrest into a massive raise
In February I got a knock on my trailer door one day, and it was Chuck Lorre. I invited him in, and he said, “Jon, can you talk to Charlie? I hear he’s going off the rails.” Chuck himself is a recovering alcoholic and open and honest about it. This was such a sincere plea that I knew I had to consider it. “I can try,” I told him.

The next day, though, Charlie went into rehab, so we never got to have that conversation. Charlie did, however, have a different kind of productive conversation — with Warner Bros. Despite falling off the wagon, a rocky marriage, looming felony charges and possible time behind bars, he managed to secure a massive raise [to $1.8 million an episode], fully three times what I was being paid. I immediately began contemplating a series of well-publicized drunken brawls in retirement homes or possibly leading cops on a destructive car chase just prior to my next contract negotiation.

[From The Hollywood Reporter]

There’s more in the Hollywood Reporter, including the fact that Charlie used to show Cryer vag pics of the girls he was dating. Cryer also accidentally ended up dating a woman who used to date Charlie. After Charlie told him this (with some trepidation) he dumped her. I’m sure there were more reasons why Cryer broke up with the woman, but it sounds like he was more pissed off that she never told him she used to date Charlie. Charlie said it didn’t work out with that particular lady because she wasn’t down for a threesome with him and another woman.

Cryer has even more funny anecdotes, and he comes across as a decent guy despite the hooker story. I like what he said about how “you should give a woman the benefit of the doubt when she’s been abused.” To me that was the takeaway from this story, and that explained a lot about why he kept largely quiet during Charlie’s meltdown. Incidentally, Cryer did sort-of say something about Charlie when everything was going down. Back in February, 2011, he tweeted “It’s too sad! Sorry guys, that you must hear so bad news! I’m also shocked!” In response, Charlie went on one of those UStream video rants he was doing at the time. He called Cryer a “turncoat” and a “troll” and faulted him for not reaching out. Cryer then went on Conan and joked that he was a troll. He said “Those words were really painful to me, for many reasons. Not the least of which is…um…I’m sorry, this is really hard for me. I can’t even believe I’m saying this. The fact is, I AM a troll.” It was funny and he handled all that crazy business very well.

Jon Cryer is shown with his new wife in 2014 and with his daughter and wife in 2013. Header photo is from 2009. Credit: WENN, FameFlynet and CBS

Remember when Katie Holmes was a ninja? How she left Tom Cruise without Tom Cruise knowing? Secret cell phones and lawyers undercover and a new security team, all in place well before she blindsided him: I’m leaving you.

Then it was every day paps with Suri in New York, part protection …      

Eva Mendes spoke to Extra yesterday, because for some reason, Eva is back to talking to the press in a big way. For much of 2014, Eva went radio silent. We found out later that she went underground as soon as she started showing with her pregnancy, although we didn’t learn about the pregnancy until she was like seven months along. Before her pregnancy, Eva was more pap-friendly, and she played the game of “not talking about Ryan Gosling while still making references to him constantly.” Well, that’s what she’s reverted back to. And during her Extra interview, she talked about her style – she prefers dresses to pants – and her theory on how to keep her man happy.

Motherhood is putting a lot of things into perspective for Eva Mendes, including just how appreciative she is for her own mother. The actress revealed that her sleepless nights and long days with her baby girl Esmeralda can be grueling, but she also confesses that it’s made her praise her mom that much more.

“Now I understand so much, my mother’s never gotten more ‘I love you so much mommy’ texts, I mean, randomly… ya, I get it now,” she told Extra during an interview, and adds that although the 6-month-old sleeps through the night now (yay!), there are still a few nights when baby Esme throws mama for a loop.

“But you never know, right, something random can happen and she’s just suddenly not sleeping through the night and you’re like, wait, I thought we were sleeping through the night, what’s up?!” She laughed, “Why does it always happen at three or four in the morning?!”

Mendes also revealed her secret rule to keeping one of Hollywood’s hottest leading men happy at home—and unfortunately, it may be a tough pill to swallow for some of us. Most of us. “You can’t do sweatpants… ladies, number one cause of divorce in America, sweatpants, no!”

[From E News]

Are you kidding me? “You can’t do sweatpants… ladies, number one cause of divorce in America!” If sweatpants are causing divorces, maybe we should rethink MARRIAGE entirely. While she said it in a joking manner, I get the sense that she really does feel that she “can’t” wear sweatpants. Because she’s all about “pleasing her man” or whatever. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying any woman is a horrible person for putting in some effort with their style or trying to look nice for their husband/SO. But there are times when sweatpants are awesome. There are times when a woman wants to hit the “off” switch and not feel the need to “look cute” for her significant other and she should be able to do that without it being a divorceable offense.

Oh, and all of this comes from a woman who thinks turbans are the height of sophistication.

View image | gettyimages.com

View image | gettyimages.com

Photos courtesy of Getty, Fame/Flynet.

Alison! Happy 40th Birthday from Dominique! Wishing you continued youth at heart this decade. By request, here are shots I’ve yet to post of Idris Elba and Sam Heughan.

And for Emily who has taken matters into her own hands – Happy Birthday! Stephen Amell and Robbie Amell are atta…