Last night’s Grammys were a snooze compared to past years. There were a few standout moments, especially the duet between Hozier and Annie Lennox (although I am so sick of “Take Me To Church,” sorry Kaiser). I also really liked the Sam Smith and Mary J. Blige duet, but overall there were a lot of slow songs and uninteresting songs. Plus Sam Smith and Beck pretty much swept everything. Kaiser already did our Grammys wrapup post. This is just my rambling introduction to Miranda Lambert’s performance of “Little Red Wagon.” Maybe I don’t keep up with current music enough (true) but this is the first time I can remember hearing this song. (In my defense it only came out as a single last month.) Theoretically I should have been impressed because it was an energetic performance of one of the few rocking songs of the night. It was a fun performance, but I couldn’t get past the fact that it’s a freaking children’s nursery song. What’s next, “Ring Around the Rosie,” “Wheels On The Bus”?

Here’s Lambert’s performance. I wonder what she said that got cut out.

2152823253 by YardieGoals

Miranda also won Best Country Album, for Platinum. This is her second Grammy. She previously won Best Female Country Vocal Performance for “The House that Built Me,” in 2010. Oh and Miranda wore a black Gabriela Cadena cutout gown on the red carpet. It’s a flattering dress and I like the fuchsia detail at the neck, but it’s not that interesting. She changed into a deep v-neck Sachin & Babi gown with a foil-look overlay after her performance. I kind of wish she wore the Sachin & Babi on the red carpet, it’s a better dress and is much more interesting.

Miranda Lambert at 57th GRAMMY Awards – Press Room #Newz http://t.co/IkNP82L7Ty

— Miranda Lambert (@MLambertPicsNow) February 9, 2015

Presenter Gina Rodriguez was in a tight white Christos Costarellos dress with green details. I saw people trashing this on Twitter, but I really liked this gown. Gina introduced Juanes singing “Juntos”. She seemed a little nervous but she recovered quickly.

I’m including some pics at the end here of Courteney Cox and Pauley Perrette, both in short black sequin gowns. Courteney is wearing Marc Jacobs and I don’t have an ID on Pauley’s dress. Both of these ladies need better shoes. Pauley introduced the Grammys music educator award, which went to a man named Jared Cassedy. That segment was really nice. Also, you can tell from Pauley’s Twitter that she had a great time. She took selfies with everyone!

Presented #GRAMMYs music educator award to Jared Cassedy. Congrats! pic.twitter.com/sR5U0F4wO3

— Pauley Perrette (@PauleyP) February 9, 2015

photo credit: WENN.com and FameFlynet

Kanye West has been all over these Grammy posts. He was all over the Grammys. It would have been utterly and completely dull if not for Kanye, so give him that. He might be a raging megalomaniac, but for gossip purposes, he brings the much-needed drama. Starting with his date last night, his wife Kim Kardashian. Kim wore this Jean Paul Gaultier gown which was just… ugh. I don’t have words. The V-neck was too deep and the skirt slit was too high. It felt like she was about expose herself at any moment. The shoulders on this gown are horrible too. Something nice: her hair looked great. Truly.

Now, back to Kanye. He seemed like he was in an especially good mood last night. It was his first Grammy appearance in six years. He was with Kim and he made out with her on the red carpet (she seemed surprised). He got to perform two songs – that terrible “FourFiveSeconds” with Rihanna and Paul McCartney and a solo performance of “Only One”. I genuinely liked Kanye’s “Only One” performance. I like when he does those minimalist performances.

Kanye also got to spend time with Beyonce and Jay-Z and it seems like they’ve probably made up and buried whatever hatchet. Beyonce and Kim even posed together. Kanye also made up with Taylor Swift and they posed together. And then Kanye disrespected Beck, but Beck was such a gentleman about it. Kanye went off on a rant about Beck on E! News after the Grammys – go here to read some of his rant. The Yeezus giveth and the Yeezus taketh away.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

Rihanna barely skated onto the Grammys red carpet last night before the event began. Maybe her dress got stuck in her car because this thing was massive. Rihanna wore a Giambattista Valli couture gown, and the negative Twitter reactions were immediate. The dress resembled something you’d see on the top of a jewelry box or birthday cake. Layers upon layers of pink tulle made up the skirt with a satin, sparkle-flanked bodice on top. She worked the precious, ballet-dancer vibe with a simple ballet bun, nude makeup, and pink lips. Chopard jewels completed the look. I’m extremely partial to Rihanna, but I didn’t hate this dress. It was over the top, but she styled it well.

Rihanna wore what no one could imagine Ms. Sultry choosing for the biggest music moment of the year. This look is about as unexpected as her classy performance with Paul McCartney and Kanye. I still don’t like the song, but this dress is iconic. You won’t forget it. In 10 years, you’ll ask, “Remember that dreadful piece of cotton candy wore to the Grammys?” As Kanye & Jay-Z once said, “It gets the people going.”

Miley Cyrus was a nominee (Best Pop Vocal Album). This Alexandre Vauthier couture gown showed enough skin to remind us Miley is a rebel. The thigh and midriff cutouts would have been enough, but the pelvis cutouts weren’t becoming at all. Miley wore Lorraine Schwartz jewels.

Dave Grohl wore his own damn jean jacket and t-shirt. This was my favorite look of the night, no joke. Dave gives no f***s about Grammy fashion.

Photos courtesy of WENN

Taylor Swift was considered by many people to be one of the best-dressed ladies of the Grammys. It’s not that I flat-out disagree, I just think the Elie Saab could have been reworked slightly and it would have been a lot stronger. I did love this blue-green color on Swifty, and she was one of the few ladies wearing a really bold jewel tone. I also liked that she went matchy-matchy with her Lorraine Schwartz jewelry. But yeah… I have issues with the miniskirt underneath a big ball-gown skirt. Still, it feels like she was trying something different and we should encourage that.

Oh, and Tay-Tay has made up with Kanye West, six years after he Kanye’d all over her VMA win. They were seated close to each other and they posed for photos. It looked like she went over to him and gave him a hug. Aw.

Have @kanyewest & @taylorswift13 made up?: http://t.co/ylT0PKuyY3 pic.twitter.com/l3ZlViJRVy

— MTV News (@MTVNews) February 9, 2015

Other photos… Mary J. Blige wore this great J. Mendel Pre-Fall 2014 on the red carpet. This looks like something Swifty would have worn two years ago!

Katherine McPhee in Pucci. This is a bad look! And #NeverForget that she openly cheated on her husband with Mary McCormack’s husband.

And finally, here’s Annie Lennox being fabulous. Annie with Hozier was easily the best part of the night. But it was also pretty awesome when Annie totally froze out Giuliana Rancic when Giuliana asked about Annie contributing a song to the Fifty Shades of Grey soundtrack.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

Vulture asked a very important question on Twitter last night:

Who has more friends, Taylor or Gwyneth?

It’s been a year now, right? Since I first started calling Taylor Swift the “Friend Collector”? She’s also, like, the official mascot of music award shows now to…      

This post is for some of my favorite looks of the Grammys. I’m realizing just now that my favorite looks were some of the simplest and most minimalist, but maybe that’s what I like? I think the Grammys can and should veer towards the over-the-top, the stunt, the look-at-me costumes and performances, but what always happens is that the people who are dressed in simple, flawless clothes end up getting most of the attention anyway.

Anyway, Gwen Stefani was hands-down one of my absolute favorites at last night’s Grammys. She wore this Atelier Versace which just rocked my world. It was beautifully tailored, it looked amazing on Gwen’s body and the construction was gorgeous. Gwen looked so Botoxy last year too, but last night her face moved and she didn’t look as waxy as before. I hope she stopped tweaking.

Jennifer Hudson wore this super-simple Tom Ford dress with some simple diamonds and a great short haircut. I think this is the best J-Hud has looked a long time!!

Anna Kendrick killed it in this black Band of Outsiders suit. This was seriously one of my favorite looks and it’s possibly the best black suit we’ve seen in YEARS.

And finally, here’s Helen Lasichanh and Pharrell Williams, both in custom Adidas. Pharrell has a line with Adidas now, and I guess he designed this stuff for himself and Helen. He also changed into a bellhop costume for his performance of “Happy” – you can see the video here.

More funny hats from @Pharrell! This time in the style of “Grand Budapest Hotel.” http://t.co/6tZWEUQsZb pic.twitter.com/D0vWyZ2a1r

— EntertainmentTonight (@etnow) February 9, 2015

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

To me, Madonna looked stiff last night at the Grammys. There was no fluidity in her movements. My friend Iain, the most ardent Madonna fan I know, even he called her performance “cautious”, wishing she would just let go. That’s about as critical as it gets from Iain on Madonna. …      

Charli XCX was one of many women rocking menswear last night, but she wasn’t in black and she didn’t show cleavage or much skin at all. She was in a full coverage Moschino white tux with a ruffled shirt, pink tie and light pink faux fur stole. Red Carpet Fashion Awards has a comparison between Charli’s look and the runway, and she basically styled it exactly the same as the designer, down to the shoes. In her interview with Giuliana on E!, Charli said that she hates “boring fashion, so I wanted to do something ’80s and fabulous.” People on Twitter are pointing out that she looks like the caterers on that Starz comedy Party Down. (I keep meaning to watch that.)

So is Charli XCX a big fan of Party Down or…? http://t.co/sljdeovcmH pic.twitter.com/ZsEqaLIoTX

— E! Online (@eonline) February 9, 2015

I guess the Grammys are the place to wear this, and I appreciate that it’s just a white suit without giant logos all over it. When we’re considering Moschino, it could have been much worse. They’re the fashion house that has tributes to McDonalds, Barbie, Spongebob, et al.

Speaking of Giuliana Rancic, she had on a couple of different black looks last night. Don’t yell at me but I really liked Giuliana’s outfits. I think she got the memo that she was looking emaciated on past red carpets so she decided to just cover it up in some modern black with strategic line cutouts. She looked good! Her main red carpet look was this Inbal Dror pantsuit with sequin details. At the beginning of the night Giuliana wore this Steven Khalil dress. I thought it looked incredible. Good show Giuliana. Also, did you notice how Giuliana was editing herself so she wouldn’t gush over outfits she would later trash on Fashion Police?

Love this Steven Khalil dress! And pant suit @GiulianaRancic looks amazing tonight #LiveFromTheRedCarpet #GRAMMYs pic.twitter.com/f1uIE3FCse

— Daniela Hrabachko (@Daniela_Bachko) February 9, 2015

Giuliana’s cohost, Kelly Osbourne, was in Christian Siriano. I feel like this dress would have worked if the fuzzy polka dots were confined to one area, like the bodice or the skirt. All over, it’s kind of strange. The best part was Kelly’s fish clutch, especially when she made a fishy face to go with it. So cute and fun.

I’m throwing Kat Graham at the end here. She’s in Yanina Couture. This dress is just try hard and it didn’t look any better on camera. At least you can’t see T&A under it.

This is what Kat wore to the Universal Grammy after party. You can see why she’s featured on Go Fug Yourself often. Something nice: it looks comfortable. That mesh dress was probably scratchy.

It feels like Ariana Grande’s rise and fall happened pretty quickly, like within the span of about four months. Suddenly she was everywhere and the #1 pop diva, and then the backlash was swift and merciless. I’m not saying Grande isn’t still popular – I hear her songs on the radio all the time, and I’m sure she has a large ride-or-die fanbase. But it feels like she’s not the young hot It Girl of the Moment these days, and like her bad attitude has pissed off enough people. Good.

Ariana arrived at the Grammys with her boyfriend, Big Sean. I think Big Sean and Ariana are going to end messily and probably sooner rather than later, and when it happens it will be so, so funny. But for now, they are loved up, but only when Ariana gets to show her “good side” to the cameras. Ryan Seacrest dared to put her “bad” right side on E! and she almost cried. Her dress is Versace – I like it more than what she usually wears, but the silver fabric seems like it was tacked on at the last minute.

For some reason, Paris Hilton was there. I guess it’s because she’s a super-successful DJ, you guys. She wore a too-tight Yousef-Al-Jasmi gown which made her girls look like they were suffocating.

And here’s Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett. It’s funny how no one really gives a crap about Gaga now. I wasn’t into their performance last night either. Her gown is Brendan Maxwell, jewels by Lorraine Schwartz. Not the worst, far from the best.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

Dear Gossips,

Did you know that both Taylor Swift and Kanye West were born in the Year of the Snake? If you’re a Snake too, here’s what my ma, the Chinese Squawking Chicken, is advising for the Year of the Goat/Sheep:

Might not be the best year for personal relationships and, …