Lady Gaga’s red carpet look was… not good. It also reminded me of Amal Clooney’s stupid Golden Globes gloves and how bad gloves are now some kind of “trend.” Gaga wore this overworked Alaïa on the red carpet and she kept saying it took hundreds of hours of construct. This? Really? This super basic silhouette? I guess the sparkles took extra time. People were also meme-ing her gloves, which… I understand. But it’s Lady Gaga. She really wants her gloves to be the most talked about thing. Which is weird, because her performance of The Sound of Music medley was shockingly good. I hope people are talking about that today, not her gloves. Even Julie Andrews was impressed!

And here’s one view of Gaga’s Vanity Fair look. Super-boring (for her).

Meanwhile, Solange Knowles somehow got an invite to the Oscars…?? She wore this Christian Siriano ensemble. Is it a dress? Is it a jumpsuit? Is it a suit? Is it all the things?!

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Want to see the Kardashian youngsters?

No, I’m not talking about Kourtney’s kids or even North West — I’m talking about the original cast! That’s right, we’re going old school! Kim Kardashian took to Instagram yesterday to wish her father Robert Kardashian a happy birthday with an absolutely adorable family photo. She captioned the photo:

“Happy Birthday Daddy”

Below is the old school family photo she shared, which you just have to see, because it’s so cute.

Happy Birthday Daddy

A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on Feb 22, 2015 at 3:55pm PST

I always think it’s funny when someone I “love to hate” shows up and I give them the benefit of the doubt or I flat-out like their look, and everyone yells at me for not hating it. That’s what happened with Jennifer Aniston – I genuinely liked her Versace, even though most people believed I should loathe it. And I’m sure it will happen again with Gwyneth Paltrow and her Oscar gown: she wore Ralph & Russo Couture with a big floral arrangement on one shoulder. You know what? I LIKE IT.

The dress reminds me of something although I haven’t been able to place the reference. (Oh, I just got it: Angelina Jolie did the shoulder-flower Ralph & Russo years ago.) I feel like Goop is referencing her own Oscar-winning moment with the color, right? Gwyneth famously wore that cotton-candy pink Ralph Lauren and I feel like this petal-pink shade is a throwback to that. One thing I’ll give the critics: her hair was not the best. But at least she didn’t do a flat-ironed center part, eh?

People were complaining about her jewelry too. PEASANTS!!! Gwyneth got paid to wear Anna Hu jewelry – the $425,000 earrings were cabochon Rubellites with white and yellow diamonds, plus sapphires and tourmalines. She also wore a ring made of “rare 6.27-carat pigeon-blood Burmese ruby, pink diamonds and brilliant-cut white diamonds, set in rose and white gold.”

And here’s Gwyneth’s BFF (in her mind) Beyonce, at the Vanity Fair party. Beyonce wore Stella McCartney (the dress) with a J. Mendel white fox bolero. I don’t hate the Stella dress, but I’m pretty sure Sam Taylor Johnson already wore it during the Fifty Shades promotional tour.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Margot Robbie brought the glamour last night in a black Saint Laurent gown that highlighted her bombshell looks. I think this dress was the perfect combination of formal and sexy. The plunging neckline dared to reveal too much, but it was balanced out by the long, sheer sleeves. She looked sophisticated and like she took her presenting duties seriously. Margot’s necklace is Van Cleef & Arpels. The sapphires give a nice pop of color.

My god, she’s just gorgeous. Margot’s complained about her “toothpaste” good looks. There’s nothing to complain about here. She’s a stunning import from down under. She can pull off a bold red lip and a sleek bob with a deep side part. Flawless.

Here’s what Margot wore to the Vanity Fair party. It must have been the night of the circus tents, but this dress had a flattering silhouette.

Chrissy Teigen was every inch the model in this pale blue Zuhair Murad gown. This dress skated on the edge of a wardrobe malfunction, but I suspect double-sided tape did its job well. Chrissy styled this opulent gown well with sultry makeup and rumply curls. John Legend was a Gucci man. He and Common brought down the house during their “Glory” performance. As Kaiser mentioned, grown men were moved to tears.

Guiliana Rancic wore a fussy red Mireille Dagher gown that matched the E! flowers. The top part of this dress looks itchy, but the bottom flowed well.

Jennifer Hudson wore a yellow Romona Keveza gown that was a little bit blah. Peplums ruin everything! Jennifer’s emerald earrings were a nice touch. She performed “I Can’t Let Go” during the “in memoriam” part of the show.

America Ferrera wore a Grecian-inspired Jenny Packham in forest green. The ombre fade into a sky blue mini-train was unexpected, but I like it. The only thing throwing off this look is the odd turquoise earrings.

Photos courtesy of WENN

OOOF.

You know when a night does not go the way you planned? Like you never imagine that on the night of the prom you’ll break your ankle or get pinkeye or have a breakup on your birthday? That’s what happened to Dakota Johnson, who looked smoking hot but whose amazing red dress …      

Reese Witherspoon and Nicole Kidman posed together on the red carpet for some reason. I mean, I’m sure they know each other and they both have that CAA connection, but they seemed extra friendly last night.

Let’s start with Reese. She wore this Tom Ford that reads in photos like off-white, but I think it’s a very pale blue. It’s Tom Ford and the fit is beautiful and flattering, but I also think that the black shoulder thing looks uncomfortable. She looked like she had a rubber band holding her arms down. Reese accessorized with Tiffany’s jewels. I know this because she tweeted her styling details before she left her house, and then when she got on the red carpet, she promoted the #AskHerMore crap, which lead to an hour of awkwardness on the ABC red carpet show – which people only watch BECAUSE WE WANT TO TALK ABOUT FASHION – where no one asked anyone about their dresses. So stupid. Jesus.

And here’s Nicole Kidman in Louis Vuitton. Because of the stupid #AskHerMore BS, it took a while to get the ID on Kidman’s dress. The NYT Fashion tweeter noted that everybody thought Kidman’s dress looked super-cheap and then as soon as it was ID’d as Louis Vuitton, everyone changed their tune. For what it’s worth, I do think it looks cheap but I don’t even hate it. It’s interesting and I’m glad she didn’t wear some frilly, lacy thing. She goes to “grandmother’s lace doily” too often, and I think this dress looks sort of fun. But I could barely pay attention to the gown because Nicole has been Botoxing for so long, her face is set at a permanent frozen scowl. She looked like she was going to spit on someone while she was presenting. Something nice: her hair looked great.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Marion Cotillard was nominated again last night, which was her second Oscar nomination (I could have sworn she had more) and she of course has one Academy Award already, for 2007?s La Vie en Rose. This year Marion was nominated for a French language Belgian film that barely anyone has seen called Two Days, One Night. (I did see her in The Immigrant, she was excellent in that and she was up for a Spirit Award for that role, which went to Julianne Moore.) As per usual, Marion was in Dior, and as we’ve come to expect, it was offbeat. She was in an all white sleeveless Dior gown with a slight side train and a large circle print.

Cotillard was styled in a late 50s/early 60s vibe, and the whole look is very Zooey Deschanel at the Golden Globes. Plus the dress had tons of gathered fabric at the back that ended in a black band under her butt. So weird.

This is what Cotillard wore to the Vanity Fair Oscar party, and it’s not much better. I’m glad she didn’t wear this strange dress to the ceremony. What happens when Marion collaborates at Dior? Do they drink pastis, smoke hash and come up with the strangest designs possible, using the most fabric? This dress is like the top of Julianne Moore’s Spirit Awards dress (also Dior) meets the bottom of Bjork’s swan dress (Valentino) with a giant black band at the waist topped with a jaunty white sash, tied into a half-assed bow. Just no.

Photo credit: WENN.com

Benedict Cumberbatch and Sophie Hunter hit up the Vanity Fair party after the show. And maybe the photographer there asked for a kiss. And maybe Benedict obliged. And decided he would kiss AND close his eyes at the same time. Not a move I generally endorse. This is doesn’t qualify as an exc…      

My wish for Julianne Moore’s Oscar dress was that she not wear something utterly embarrassing because one of her “friends” talked her into it. Like, I get the feeling that she’s worn some bad Tom Ford gowns in the past because Tom Ford talked her into it and I wanted Julianne to just own her style and wear something simple and elegant, because the photos of Julianne holding the Oscar are going to last a lifetime.

Julianne ended up going with a custom-made (by Karl Lagerfeld) Chanel gown which took nearly a thousand hours to construct. Yes, this somewhat bland gown in a shade of “shiny oatmeal” took a thousand hours to make. Was it worth it? No, it wasn’t. But Julianne did not embarrass herself. And I like how beautifully tailored this is. Her styling was pretty simple too – a pretty updo and nice earrings. Not the best, but not the worst. Plus, people just love her and I think everyone’s happy that Julianne finally won an Oscar.

Viola Davis in this Zac Posen wasn’t my favorite either, but I still admired the look and of course I worship Viola. Viola was on-trend with this muted color AND with a statement necklace. I have to say, I think this gown looks better in still photos than it did in motion. Zac Posen’s gowns are famously overworked and over-designed, so it’s nice to see a more edited look from him.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Dakota Johnson and Melanie Griffith walked the red carpet at last night’s Oscars. Their joint appearance echoed their 2000 mother-daughter date, and it was nice that mom showed up to support her starlet daughter. Things got a little messy. When asked about FSOG, the two ladies snapped at each other. To be fair, it was a dumb question. Melanie didn’t want to talk about her daughter in a sex-ay movie, but yeah. There’s some friction.

Dakota’s dress was simple and beautiful. She wore a red Saint Laurent column gown with an elegant silhouette. I made fun of the jewel encrusted armpit, but that detail snazzes up an otherwise Valentine-y dress. The thigh-high slit and one-shoulder effect added extra appeal. Dakota’s persona is bland, but this dress is anything but boring. Her ponytail was quite pretty and let the dress shine. The red lipstick wasn’t too matchy.

Zoe Saldana wore a pale pink Atelier Versace gown with structuring detail around the waist. She looked tired (she has newborn twins!) but gorgeous. Her bod is curvier than usual, and the dress added to the effect. Perfection.

Zoe wore a black-and-white Prabal Gurung gown to the Vanity Fair party. The dress reminded me of a circus tent.

Rita Ora brought her American takeover in Marchesa just as I predicted. At least Rita had an overdone dress upon which to pile her drama. The midnight blue dress and fishtail hem would have been plenty enough. The gold leaves push the dress into ridiculousness. Rita performed “Grateful” from Beyond the Lights, which wasn’t terrible (unlike this dress).

Here’s what Rita wore to the Vanity Fair party. We can’t show you the side or back view, but her tush was on full display.

Gina Rodriguez wore a blue, satiny Susy Amos Cameron dress. The color is pretty, but the fabric is wrinkly. It feels like an off-the-rack look.

Photos courtesy of WENN