I always hear of so-called fashion experts throwing shade at Elie Saab’s made-for-the-red-carpet designs, but I defend the Elie Saab fashion house most of the time. Do the dresses all seem rather frothy and same-y? Sure. But the gowns are usually flattering, wearable, pretty and the ladies who wear Elie Saab usually seem very happy with their choice. Not everyone should or can wear Dior, you know? And I have to think that Emma Stone – one of the brightest fashionista stars on the red carpet these days – choosing to wear Elie Saab will bring the fashion house some new respect.

Emma’s gown has some elements that I would hate in other dresses – it’s deceptively simple, it’s a weird yellow-green celery color that reminds me of bile, and it’s the overdone beading-on-sheer style. But you know what? I actually really like this on Emma in particular. It’s different on her, the bile color actually works (likely because her hair is darker), and the sleeves are done really well. I think the look would have been stronger without the leg slit though.

Also: Emma jumped on Jennifer Aniston on the red carpet. Who knew they were tight?

So, now that I defended the house of Elie Saab, I have to show you the worst example of it on the Oscars red carpet. Here’s Jennifer Lopez in Elie Saab. This looks like a dozen other dresses she’s worn in her life. It’s too princess-y and it’s too BIG. It takes up too much space. It’s sort of a blah color on J.Lo too. And while I think Jennifer is a beautiful, glamorous woman, I get tired of her always bringing out her ladies.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

This is ridiculous.

It looks like what I can only refer to as ‘cyberwear’. The kind of thing you would get at the mall from Le Chateau, in pleathers and PVCs, as popularized by Angelina Jolie in Hackers and ideally worn with cobalt blue eyeliner.

So why do I love it so much?
…      

One of my favorite looks last night, and one that bucked the trend of off white and washed out pale colors was Laura Dern. Dern was on point in an incredible bronze strapless Alberta Ferretti gown featuring beading and sequins in a kind of intricate art deco pattern. It was interesting, it was lovely and she struck the perfect balance in a showstopper of a dress which didn’t overwhelm her at all.

Nominee Dern attended with her son Ellery, 13, daughter Jaya, 10, and father, Bruce, who was nominated for Best Actor for his role in Nebraska last year. Last year, Laura came out to support her dad and this year he was there for her. He sounded very proud on the red carpet when he spoke of how many Oscar nominations they had in their family. (He said they had seven, so he’s counting his ex wife, Laura’s mom Diane Ladd, in there too. Laura has two nominations, Bruce has two and Diane has three.) Laura of course lost out on the Best Actress statue to Patricia Arquette, but everyone saw that coming and she looked proud just to be there.

Also not following the trends we have Naomi Watts in Armani. From the front, I thought this dress looked cool, modern and different. I really like the beading and offset stripes on this gown, which give it a kind of snakeskin look. (We know that Watts loves snakes.) From the side, though, it cuts away to a sequin bandeau top which cheapens an otherwise high fashion avant garde gown. Also, Watts gets points taken off for not bringing Liev Schreiber. I always like to see him.

Watts was of course in Birdman, which won a bunch of awards last night including Best Director and Best Picture. I was really hoping Boyhood would win Best Picture, but Birdman was clever and had some killer performances, I’ll give it that.

Moving on to one of the ladies in pale colors we have Faith Hill in a v-neck white J. Mendel gown. I love the beading on this dress, if you look at the top of the skirt and the bottom of the sleeves there are abstract swirls which are reminiscent of Van Gogh’s Starry Night. I also like how the tiny beads kind of fade down on the skirt in lines that look like rain. That’s why I love to consider the Oscar gowns, there’s such craftsmanship, planning and thought that go into the dresses. Many of us dream of someday being able to wear something like this, if only pale imitations of these gowns. There’s no shame in delighting in beautiful fashion, and #AskHerMore seems to make it sound superficial to talk about. These gowns are works of art.

Here’s Faith’s husband, performer Tim McGraw, looking like he’s about to eat her ear.

Oscar winner Octavia Spencer was in a pale blue Tadashi Shoji boat neck gown featuring a pleated v-neck overlay and feather-like beading at the waist. Spencer was called on throughout the show as host Neil Patrick Harris kept checking in with her to see if she was keeping on an eye on a locked box on the corner of the stage, which he claimed held his Oscar predictions. It was a stupid bit that went on too long and was arguably rude to Spencer, particularly when Harris told her not to neglect her duties by snacking. (Really?) The written “predictions” turned out to be a dumb parlor trick that went on too long and referenced many of the moments of the night, only a fraction of which were interesting. The Oscars need to cut out many of the secondary awards and hire new writers, but that’s the story every year. At least we have the fashion. Don’t try to take away our fashion.

Photo credit: WENN.com

Lainey liked this dress and I didn’t, when we saw it initially, because I felt like such a bright and cheerful dress necessitates someone being bright and gregarious in it, and I felt like Rashida was so muted before she went in.

After she went in, on the other hand, she decided to con…      

It can be scary, the thought of Faith Hill at the Oscars. You remember, don’t you?

No?

I guess I don’t blame you. You’ve blocked it out of your mind. This:

Finally she’s given us a replacement memory. This is the best Faith we’ve seen in years. YEARS…      

Benedict Cumberbatch didn’t believe he would win, despite claims that he was “mad” at Eddie Redmayne. I think at one point, Benedict was hustling as if his life depended on it, possibly in the hopes for a surge of support for The Imitation Game. But I think Bendy realized more than a month ago that the Best Actor race was between Eddie Redmayne and Michael Keaton and Bendy adjusted his expectations accordingly. Which is why he signed on as a presenter, why he agreed to do the flask bit with Neil Patrick Harris and why he seemed pretty relaxed during the whole night. Even with John Travolta breathing down his neck.

#Oscars2015 Cumberbatch: I don’t get what John Travolta sees in him. He could do better. #DLWW http://t.co/fKaGhn4rb1 pic.twitter.com/oXuaoDqMeI

— Datalounge.com (@Dataloungecom) February 23, 2015

As for Benedict’s wife Sophie Hunter… um… she did not wear panties. For real. When I saw this custom-made Lanvin on the red carpet, I thought it was a simple one-shoulder sheath, but it’s not. There’s an opening down the side of the dress and it’s being held together by pins or something. And you can see that chica is not wearing drawers. Whoa. That’s a bold movie for a pregnant lady. I will give her this: her dress did not have pockets and it wasn’t floral. Yay? Something mean: I loathe her earrings. That was a bad styling choice.

Cumby spoke to the BBC at the Vanity Fair Oscar party – go here to see. He seemed a bit drunk.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

This was a polarising look at the etalk Oscars viewing party. Half the room hated it. Half the room loved it. I was on the pro side…

But I can see the point of the con side.

It’s a dress for the Club Girl. This is how you dress in Vegas when you’re hoping to scam table …      

Sometimes it’s not all about the yearlong leadup to what you’ve been doing and dresses you’ve been carefully choosing and planning. Sometimes it’s just being invited to a party and effortlessly throwing on a killer dress that ranks in one of the top 15 for the night. Not a…      

Let us be clear that this was not the year any of us predicted for Sienna Miller – right? When she squealed with delight at American Sniper winning, I’d forgotten that she was even in it, because I associated her with Foxcatcher. Imagine being in two such high profile films in one yea…      

Jennifer Aniston and Scarlett Johansson had a few things in common last night. They were both wearing Versace, to mixed results. They both attended the Oscars as presenters and both attended with their lesser-known partners/husbands. Beyond that… yeah, not that much in common.

For what it’s worth, I actually sort of liked Jennifer Aniston’s Versace. I thought it was strapless, but she has one nude-type strap, you just can’t see it because she wore her hair down and styled the same way it’s always styled. I liked this Versace because A) it didn’t look too prom-y, which Aniston veers into often enough and B) because she wasn’t moping around in a black dress. While this cream/nude doesn’t really stand out, she was on trend for the evening, and I actually think this was one of the best dress examples for that trend. I would have styled her slightly differently – make the makeup a bit stronger and do something different with her hair. I also would have gotten her in some major jewels – this whole look is desperate for some bling. Is it just me or does Justin Theroux have a “trapped” look? JT’s wearing D&G, by the way.

I was complaining on Twitter about Aniston getting to present with David Oyelowo, because it seemed like a false equivalency that they were both equally snubbed. They were not. David Oyelowo was legitimately snubbed for a career-defining performance as MLK and Jennifer Aniston just try to buy and hustle her way into an Oscar nomination and the Academy gave her a pat on the head and turned her away. They are not equal. That is all.

As for ScarJo… I really didn’t like this. But I’ll try to be nice… her body looked crazy and this Versace just emphasized her insane proportions. I liked that she went with a bold color, even though I thought this particular shade of green read as kind of cheap-looking in many photos. Most of my issues with this look were with the necklace, which was too matchy with the dress and just too BIG for ScarJo. She’s a small, short girl with an hourglass figure – she needs to lengthen her body and neck, and the necklace cuts her off. I’m so over her Miley hair too. PS… What does Romain have against socks?! Brother is NEVER wearing socks.

Photos courtesy of WENN.