Did you see the Carters kiss when Beyonce won her Grammy? Duana texted me about 15 seconds later:

“I just rewound that kiss three times. Did not buy. Am Conspiracy Theorist?”

My reply:
“Well they’ve never been known for their sexual chemistry.”

Duana:
…      

Iggy Azalea scooped several awards over the past year. She was fully prepared to win last night at the Grammys and made a pre-announcement against the oncoming backlash. Iggy told MTV News, “Success is polarizing and you just can’t have one without the other. That’s something that comes with it. It’s the price you pay for having all the amazing things that you’re afforded and if that is the price you pay for a Grammy, I will sign that check.” Except … oops. Iggy didn’t win anything. How embarrassing. Eminem won best rap album (he won’t win anything next year – Shady XV is dreadful).

Iggy’s look was some scroll-up fug. Her dress was Armani Prive and beautiful on its own. The cornflower blue silk hugged Iggy’s figure all over, and not even the cutouts could distract from the spot-on tailoring. Her hair was another matter. What was she thinking with a crown of braids? This is the Grammys, not a toga party. Iggy’s hair ruined the whole ensemble. She should have kept it loose and saved her “backlash” announcement for an actual win.

Nicki Minaj looked gorgeous in this Tom Ford gown. The neckline was plunging, and Nicki had her girls out of course. This was still a sophisticated look (for her) and better than all the fluorescent garbage she used to wear. Nicki’s sleek hair and dead-on stare drew attention away from the gladiator sandals. Yeah, bad shoes. But this is a win for Nicki.

Rita Ora went for a glamorous space-girl aura in this semi-sheer silver Prada gown. This isn’t the worst look we’ve seen on Rita, but it’s all so bright. The gown’s color and the too-blonde hair work together to wash her out. The smokey eye helps a little, but the whole look is a wash.

Speaking of awful. Jane Fonda wore a green and gold Balmain jumpsuit. This outfit sends a 1970s vibe, which is fine if that’s what she was going for. Jane wore Jimmy Choo pumps and Vhernier jewels.

Photos courtesy of WENN

Nicole Kidman’s Thierry Mugler last night was one of the carpet’s best. But f-ck her, we’re not giving her the satisfaction. Because did you watch her interview with Ryan Seacrest?

He asks her the question. He asks her about the dress. She pauses. And then, “I don&rsqu…      

Eddie Redmayne and Hannah Bagshaw. Benedict Cumberbatch and Sophie Turner. Even Keira Knightley and James Righton. All fine and worthy candidates, sure. But for me, the title of Best BAFTA Couple belongs to the McDuffs, Anne-Marie Duff and James McAvoy, arguably the most acclaimed (though underra…      

It’s a good song…although I find it repetitive which is probably why it needed her. Because did she ever take the Church to another level, holy F-CK, Annie Lennox. Holy F-CK. Who could possibly follow that? Is that why I’m listening to No More I Love Yous on repeat this morning…      

Katy Perry must have left all her creative juices on the football field because the Grammys were an obvious afterthought. Not that I blame her. Katy’s in the middle of a world tour and must be exhausted. Her styling team could have worked a little harder. Last year, Katy brought the drama in a Valentino musical concept dress. This year’s selection was a fringey, uninspired Zuhair Murad cocktail dress. I think she was going for sparkle-pow impact, but the dress aged her substantially and looked bizarre next to her youthful purple locks. The dress was backless, which didn’t add to its nonexistent appeal. Better luck next year.

Chrissy Teigen and John Legend were the cutest couple at this event. Chrissy’s white Gucci dress felt a little more CMAs than Grammys, but she pulled off the dress with her figure. Cutouts are a little too trendy right now. John looked adorable in Dolce & Gabbana.

Meghan Trainor was a mess in this Galia Lahav gown. I didn’t mind the sheer “leafy” sleeves, but the overlay skirt was too much. This looked more like a witchy Halloween costume than an award show dress.

Zendaya usually brings the funky attitude onto the red carpet. This Vivienne Westwood dress didn’t fare too well. The fabric was wrinkly. The cut was lazy. Z’s sandals looked like they fell out of a beach bag, and her wig was too wiggy.

Photos courtesy of WENN

I looked at this list of stragglers, randoms and weirdos and I just thought to myself “How about I make The Most Random Person Ever, Sia, the hostess for this particular post?” Sia attended the Grammys with Maddie Ziegler, the young dancer Sia has now put in two of her music videos. Are we supposed to talk about fashion? I don’t think fashion is the point of Sia. Sia also performed “Chandelier” with help from Maddie and Kristen Wiig.

Were you into it? I like the song – and I do love Sia’s amazing voice and “Elastic Heart” is my latest gym song – but this performance made me feel like I was on drugs. I have to give it to Maddie though, that young woman COMMITS.

More randoms… here’s someone named Bleona. Totally.

Ciara in Alex Vauthier. The E! people loved it but I wasn’t crazy about it. I mean, if you’re going to wear a crazy puffball dress, commit to it. Don’t try to make it high fashion.

Jessie J looked great in this Ralph & Russo. Very pretty, great voice, but she really doesn’t get much press here in the US.

Random thy name is Ashanti. She wore Michael Costello. It is BAD. Like, really bad.

Toni Braxton in Marc Bouwer. GURL NO. This looks so cheap!!!!

And finally, here’s Nicole Kidman in Thierry Mugler. She was really out-of-it on the red carpet. It made me wonder if she’s self-medicating.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.

After all these years, do you feel differently now about what Kanye West did to Taylor Swift at the VMAs? “Imma let you finish”?

It’s still a dick move, yes. But would you change Gossip History and remove it from the Gossip Books? I’m not even sure Taylor would want th…      

Last night’s Grammys were a snooze compared to past years. There were a few standout moments, especially the duet between Hozier and Annie Lennox (although I am so sick of “Take Me To Church,” sorry Kaiser). I also really liked the Sam Smith and Mary J. Blige duet, but overall there were a lot of slow songs and uninteresting songs. Plus Sam Smith and Beck pretty much swept everything. Kaiser already did our Grammys wrapup post. This is just my rambling introduction to Miranda Lambert’s performance of “Little Red Wagon.” Maybe I don’t keep up with current music enough (true) but this is the first time I can remember hearing this song. (In my defense it only came out as a single last month.) Theoretically I should have been impressed because it was an energetic performance of one of the few rocking songs of the night. It was a fun performance, but I couldn’t get past the fact that it’s a freaking children’s nursery song. What’s next, “Ring Around the Rosie,” “Wheels On The Bus”?

Here’s Lambert’s performance. I wonder what she said that got cut out.

2152823253 by YardieGoals

Miranda also won Best Country Album, for Platinum. This is her second Grammy. She previously won Best Female Country Vocal Performance for “The House that Built Me,” in 2010. Oh and Miranda wore a black Gabriela Cadena cutout gown on the red carpet. It’s a flattering dress and I like the fuchsia detail at the neck, but it’s not that interesting. She changed into a deep v-neck Sachin & Babi gown with a foil-look overlay after her performance. I kind of wish she wore the Sachin & Babi on the red carpet, it’s a better dress and is much more interesting.

Miranda Lambert at 57th GRAMMY Awards – Press Room #Newz http://t.co/IkNP82L7Ty

— Miranda Lambert (@MLambertPicsNow) February 9, 2015

Presenter Gina Rodriguez was in a tight white Christos Costarellos dress with green details. I saw people trashing this on Twitter, but I really liked this gown. Gina introduced Juanes singing “Juntos”. She seemed a little nervous but she recovered quickly.

I’m including some pics at the end here of Courteney Cox and Pauley Perrette, both in short black sequin gowns. Courteney is wearing Marc Jacobs and I don’t have an ID on Pauley’s dress. Both of these ladies need better shoes. Pauley introduced the Grammys music educator award, which went to a man named Jared Cassedy. That segment was really nice. Also, you can tell from Pauley’s Twitter that she had a great time. She took selfies with everyone!

Presented #GRAMMYs music educator award to Jared Cassedy. Congrats! pic.twitter.com/sR5U0F4wO3

— Pauley Perrette (@PauleyP) February 9, 2015

photo credit: WENN.com and FameFlynet

Kanye West has been all over these Grammy posts. He was all over the Grammys. It would have been utterly and completely dull if not for Kanye, so give him that. He might be a raging megalomaniac, but for gossip purposes, he brings the much-needed drama. Starting with his date last night, his wife Kim Kardashian. Kim wore this Jean Paul Gaultier gown which was just… ugh. I don’t have words. The V-neck was too deep and the skirt slit was too high. It felt like she was about expose herself at any moment. The shoulders on this gown are horrible too. Something nice: her hair looked great. Truly.

Now, back to Kanye. He seemed like he was in an especially good mood last night. It was his first Grammy appearance in six years. He was with Kim and he made out with her on the red carpet (she seemed surprised). He got to perform two songs – that terrible “FourFiveSeconds” with Rihanna and Paul McCartney and a solo performance of “Only One”. I genuinely liked Kanye’s “Only One” performance. I like when he does those minimalist performances.

Kanye also got to spend time with Beyonce and Jay-Z and it seems like they’ve probably made up and buried whatever hatchet. Beyonce and Kim even posed together. Kanye also made up with Taylor Swift and they posed together. And then Kanye disrespected Beck, but Beck was such a gentleman about it. Kanye went off on a rant about Beck on E! News after the Grammys – go here to read some of his rant. The Yeezus giveth and the Yeezus taketh away.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN.