Of all of the royal title-changes in recent years, one of the most difficult for me is Sophie, the Duchess of Edinburgh. She will always be Sophie Wessex to me, or the Countess of Wessex. I still think of Sophie and Edward as the Wessexes too, not the Edinburghs. Anyway, everything’s coming up Wessex these days. Sophie and Edward just celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary and they’re the picture of grumpy domesticity. They’re relatively low-drama inside the Firm, so King Charles appreciates that. They manage their own little embiggening campaigns for themselves without throwing too many people under the bus. In many ways, they are the one of the best examples of the merits of mediocrity. Largely inoffensive, they just sort of float through life these days. As for that embiggening campaign, it was extended to the Daily Beast. Here’s an excerpt from a piece about how Sophie and Edward became “palace power players.”

Friends of the couple say the marriage is one of equals, its success fuelled by mutual support. One said: “Edward is quite reserved, slightly awkward, but Sophie is very gregarious, one of those people who can just put you at your ease. It’s a united front—they are a great double act.”

Sophie became a close confidante of Queen Elizabeth II, a bond which was highlighted by the fact that she was one of the few non-blood relations summoned to Balmoral Castle when Her Majesty was on her death bed. A friend of the late queen’s told The Daily Beast: “Elizabeth was an astute judge of character, and her endorsement of Sophie still carries a lot of weight. Sophie exemplifies the qualities she valued: duty, loyalty, service, discretion.”

Edward himself has said of his wife: “You need a really good supportive network in this and family is incredibly important. I am just very, very lucky that Sophie is a brilliant, brilliant person in her own right.”

Her background in public relations has helped make her a trusted advisor within the family, particularly during periods of crisis. Her influence has continued to grow under King Charles III’s reign, with Edward and Sophie being granted the title of Duke and Duchess of Edinburgh. It’s an incredibly significant honor as the previous holder of the title was Prince Philip.

Edward, one source said, is “relaxed” about his wife’s high profile, and being known to millions of people around the world as “Sophie’s husband.”

But friends of the family defend him heartily against suggestions of irrelevance. One, for example, previously told The Daily Beast: “He has dedicated much of his life to public service and charitable work. He has always been very clear about his role which is to support the monarchy. Previously that meant doing what his mother asked, now it means doing what his brother asks. He has always been loyal and Charles likes him enormously and is very grateful to him.”

[From The Daily Beast]

I’m laughing my ass off at “being known to millions of people around the world as ‘Sophie’s husband.’” Oh, honey. Millions of people do not know you as anything and your wife is not a Diana-like figure with an enormous international profile. The average person on the streets of LONDON would struggle to pick Sophie out of a lineup, much less her husband. As for Sophie and Edward’s hustle for position within the family… the Wessex-Edinburghs need the monarch’s blessing, support and money to continue to live in the way they do, with security and the enormous Bagshot Park mansion. That’s why Sophie has made such a point of cozying up to Camilla and William.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.

Carole and Michael Middleton made a grand re-entrance into the upper echelon of British society this week, almost a year exactly since their business collapsed into insolvency and with it, their whole flimsy house of cards. They were exposed as grifters who defrauded the government and small businesses out of millions of pounds. Not only that, we can now see that the Middletons were always lying about the success of Party Pieces and lying about their finances. They were never rich, they never “made millions” off of a catalog company selling party kits.

Even before Party Pieces went belly up, I had felt, for years, that Prince William had distanced himself from the Middletons. The shift happened in 2021, when William told Kate that she wasn’t allowed at the Diana-statue unveiling and suddenly there was a month of blind panic from Camp Middleton as they tried in vain to keep William in line through briefs to friendly royal commentators. When Party Pieces collapsed last year, I thought it was the final nail in the Middletons’ coffin. They would never be allowed in these coveted, elite spaces again. Not only that, but the Middletons’ decades of lies weakened Kate’s position in the royal family – she has even less support and power now that her parents have been so thoroughly exposed.

So imagine my surprise when William went out of his way to get photographed with Carole and Michael at Ascot this week. Not only were the Middletons welcomed at Ascot, there are tons of photos of William with Carole, helping her with her shoe and welcoming her into the Royal Enclosure. Whatever happened, whatever deal was worked out in the past six months, it involved a Middleton Image Rehabilitation. Speaking of, the Mail is pulling from their archived reporting for a new piece about how William and Carole are so, so close. As I said, it genuinely felt like he was keeping the Midds at arm’s length for about three or four years. But yeah, that has changed. Now we’re back to getting stories about how Carole orchestrated William and Kate’s whole relationship and how William used to rest his head in Carole’s lap or whatever.

When Carole Middleton’s heel got stuck in the grass at Royal Ascot yesterday, it was fitting that it was her beloved son-in-law who came to the rescue. Prince William offered a helping hand to ‘second mum’ Carole as she steadied herself before the pair chatted jovially among other guests. The natural moment, caught in a charming set of photographs, was a touching reminder of the close bond that the Prince has forged with the Middletons – and in particular, matriarch Carole. She has fondly watched him blossom from the young, occasionally hot-headed Prince to the loyal husband, father and King-in-waiting he is today.

The Prince of Wales is said to have ‘adopted’ the Middleton family soon after he started dating Kate in the early 2000s – and Carole is now an indispensable part of the Wales’ close-knit family unit. She enjoys making Prince William his favourite snack of cheese on toast and stocks up on the sea salt chocolates that he likes.

This is evidenced by how she made herself constantly available to the family when Kate was expecting Princess Charlotte. She spent many days living with them at Anmer Hall – their home on the Sandringham estate that they swapped for Adelaide Cottage in Windssor in 2022. Carole sourced the fabrics and wallpapers for the family’s nursery and would make William his favourite snack of cheese on toast, which he would eat in front of the television. She also stocked up on the Prince’s favourite sea salt chocolates.

According to one source, Kate and William formed an ‘insular unit’ with Carole and her husband Michael. They added: ‘You could say that Kate and William, unlike most couples with a set of in-laws, feel most at their ease and happiest with her parents around. Tensions dissipate and there’s a party atmosphere.’

Carole was also said to help William decide what he should wear to engagements. Another source said of William’s love for Carole: ‘He is in thrall to her capabilities, her tenacity, high-energy levels, her superb organisational skills and her networking. She above anyone else knows what makes Kate happy, what type of staff she will gel with, and understands her overriding need for loyalty and privacy. Carole leaves nothing to chance.’

[From The Daily Mail]

The fact that Kate and William are still fine with letting people know that they’ve spent their entire relationship being managed and mothered by Carole is something else. This is one of the reasons why Prince Harry was such an advocate for therapy too – these people really need to unpack a lot of their issues and learn how to do things for themselves. Anyway, the Middletons are back and the British media has seemingly gotten orders to not discuss Party Pieces or fraud or how the Middletons screwed over people and left financial catastrophes in their wake.

Photos courtesy of Backgrid.

Jessica Biel has historically put up with a lot from Justin Timberlake. Even before their wedding, Justin was cheating on Jessica and she turned a blind eye to it or parlayed his infidelities into getting what she wanted. Then he turned the wedding into The Justin Timberlake Show. He did the same for Jessica’s first pregnancy. I’m wary of boxing Jessica into some “long suffering wife” role though – while she has suffered (as have we all), she also did the most to get the ring and she always done the most to keep the ring. So what if her husband just got arrested for drunk driving? At least he’s not cheating on her (again). So we keep getting all of these “how is Jessica reacting to JT’s DWI?” pieces. Long story short, she’s upset but it’s not like she’s actually telling him he needs rehab or anything.

Jessica Biel has been “extremely upset” following husband Justin Timberlake’s DWI arrest, multiple sources tell Us Weekly.

“Jessica is extremely upset. She was shocked to hear the news and had no idea as she was working,” an insider exclusively tells Us. “She was really worried about him.”

Biel, 42, who has not publicly addressed Timberlake’s arrest, is currently filming The Better Sister in New York City. The actress has been married to Timberlake since 2012 and they share sons Silas, 9, and Phineas, 3. Per the source, Timberlake told Biel that “he was barely drinking.”

“She always gives Justin the benefit of the doubt,” the insider adds.

A second source, meanwhile, tells Us that Timberlake was “taking a quick break” from his Forget Tomorrow World Tour.

“Justin was at dinner with friends and … [and he] wanted to enjoy some down time and have fun,” the insider says. “He and his friends didn’t even really drink that much so they were shocked he was pulled over.”

According to the source, Timberlake has not really “been drinking” while touring. “[He’s] been really healthy with the ongoing tour,” the insider notes.

[From Us Weekly]

Timberlake told Biel that “he was barely drinking.” Just my opinion: Justin is either an alcoholic or he’s in profound denial about his social drinking, and in either case, no one believes that he was “barely drinking.” The whole reason the cop pulled him over was because he blew through a stop sign and he was driving on the wrong side of the road. That’s not “oh, I just nursed one beer the whole night.” We have enough evidence that Justin is a habitual sloppy drunk. Now, whether his wife sees him enough to understand that, I don’t know.

Meanwhile, TMZ has quickly become Timberlake Media Zone with all of their men’s rights activism on Justin’s behalf. TMZ’s sources swear that JT has never had a documented problem with alcohol and he will not check into rehab or do any kind of 12-step program or anything like that. Page Six’s sources confirm that Justin’s tour will continue without any pauses or cancelations too. Some people theorized that a DWI might be a convenient excuse to cancel a tour with lackluster ticket sales. But no, the “world tour” will limp on. Drunkenly stumble on.

Photos courtesy of Backgrid, Cover Images.

As we discussed, People Magazine’s cover story this week is all about the Princess of Wales’s public reappearance. A lot of people are milking this for all its worth. Which I understand in some sense – Kate’s disappearance for nearly six months was one of the strangest and craziest things to ever happen to the Windsors. It is legitimately major news that she came outside. I think what’s bothering me about the post-Trooping conversation is the complete lack of answers about what the hell happened in the past six months. Why the lies, why the frankenphotos and faked “sightings”? I still don’t really get it. But in lieu of answers to those questions, we’re getting soft-focus sh-t about Kate saving the monarchy. More highlights from People’s cover story:

William & Kate command secrecy: “It is really impressive how they are still able to command all this secrecy,” royal historian Amanda Foreman tells PEOPLE exclusively in this week’s cover story. “They are totally running this.”

Few people know what’s going on with the Waleses: Wary of leaks to the press, Princess Kate had been open about her cancer diagnosis to some, but other close friends and confidants were unaware. A former palace aide previously told PEOPLE: “The circle of knowledge was very tight.”

William is a huge support: “To use the late Queen’s language, they are each other’s strength and stay for all these years; she will continue to be a real source of strength for him as he prepares to be the next King,” says royal biographer Sally Bedell Smith. “But since this befell them, he has been a huge support for her — not only behind closed doors but also in going out in public and carrying out his job. Watching the two of them on the palace balcony, you could see their bond — and their bond with the children.”

The same emotions as lesser mortals: “She might be the Princess of Wales, but she is still a mother and wife and going through the same set of emotions and worries and fears as anyone else in that set of circumstances would be,” Ailsa Anderson, former press secretary to Queen Elizabeth, tells PEOPLE exclusively in this week’s cover story.

Unforgiving: The Princess of Wales, 42, radiated strength during her first public appearance in nearly six months at King Charles’ official birthday parade in London on June 15, but a source close to the royal household adds, “The treatment is punishing, and it is different for different people. And the side effects can be unforgiving.”

[From People Magazine]

The way the post-Trooping PR has played out, it feels like Kensington Palace is back in charge of their own messaging once again, and that’s not a compliment. The messaging is chaotic: Kate is the bravest, most important higher mortal ever but she’s also just-like-you, with the same peasant emotions. The quote is bonkers given everything that’s gone down: “It is really impressive how they are still able to command all this secrecy…They are totally running this.” They were not, in fact, running this. Kensington Palace’s clownery had international media agencies like AFP, AP, Getty and Reuters publicly calling out their lies and lack of credibility. Their whole operation had to be taken over, for several months, by Buckingham Palace because KP made such a hash of it. Even if all of this was simply about “William and Kate demand secrecy and privacy for every part of their lives,” that alone is a horrible message from two supposed public servants who live on the taxpayer’s largesse.

Cover courtesy of People, additional photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.

From CB: I got this new bathroom cleaner, Oxiclean plus bleach (it used to be called Kaboom), and am surprised how well it works to erase the mildew on the caulk in my shower. It doesn’t have harsh fumes and smells fresh like a pool. You can get two for $20 on Amazon, but this is on sale right now at Walmart if that’s an option for you. I also got this quilted headboard in pearl tufted diamond. It was really easy to attach to my metal bed frame and it looks so nice! Here are some sales and some more things Rosie and I are looking at on Amazon.

Sales and Deals
26% off Dyson V8 Cordless Vacuum Cleaner
25% off Shark NV352 Navigator Lift Away Upright Vacuum
25% off Ninja Air Fryer Pro 4-in-1 with 5 QT Capacity
67% off Women’s Crop 3-Pack Washed Seamless Rib-Knit Camisole Crop Tank Tops
39% off SAMSUNG T7 Portable SSD, 2TB External Solid State Drive
38% off upsimples 8×10 Picture Frame Set of 5
38% off Women’s Summer Striped Short Sleeve T Shirt Dress
49% off Beats Studio Pro – Wireless Bluetooth Noise Cancelling Headphones
47% off Jackery Solar Generator 1000
10% off SereneLife Small Air Conditioner Portable 12,000 BTU with Built-in Dehumidifier
81% off 3-Panel Indoor Foldable Dog Fence for Stairs, Hallways, or Doorways
25% off PuroAir HEPA 14 Air Purifier for Home

33% off Sereniseed Certified Organic Herb Seeds (10-Pack) – Non GMO, Heirloom

Gel that makes your eyebrows look laminated

From CB: Makup Brow Me is a brow gel and wax that’s vegan, paraben free and comes with a brush and comb for easy application. It helps define and flatten your brows to give them that coveted laminated look. This gel has 4.2 stars, over 1,045 ratings and a B on Fakespot. People say that this gives an excellent, long lasting finish at a fraction of the cost of other products. “I love this product more than any expensive… brand one I’ve tried such as the Refy brand! I get so many compliments about my brows when I use this product!” “Just like a lamination brow look without the price of a lamination treatment. Also lasts all day and night.” “I’ve tried others and NOTHING compares. Nyx brow gel, elf, other fancy brands…I always come back to this.” “

A bracelet making kit for hours of summer fun

From CB: This bracelet making kit comes in a separated box filled with 18 different color clay beads plus letters, fruits, tiny charms, clasps and everything you need to make bracelets and necklaces. These would be great for a summer activity for families or kids groups and for making gifts. It’s currently on sale for just $6! This listing has over 7,200 ratings, 4.6 stars and a B on Fakespot. People say their kids love it and it’s fun for the whole family. “I bought this for us to make with our kids & granddaughter. Everyone loved it & they loved making their own bracelets. We really enjoyed all the options it came with.” “My kids loved this! It has so many beads and extra charms more than what were shown. I love how it come with its own organization box to keep it together and to store. Super good quality and would be a perfect gift for a kid that loves crafts!”

A deep moisturizing vanilla body cream with shea butter

From CB: Cake heavy cream body balm is formulated with shea butter and aloe vera and is vegan and paraben free. It’s said to smell like French vanilla with “notes of cake batter and whipped buttercream frosting.” It’s priced at $9 for about seven ounces and has over 3,000 ratings, 4.5 stars and an A on Fakespot. People say it leaves their skin soft and hydrated and that it has such a delicious, light scent. “Always get compliments lol that I smell so sweet. If you have a date, definitely use this it seems to be captivating to some people lmao. Oh yea and it’s actually a good moisturizer lol, it’s thick so hard to spread a bit so rub in your hands to melt it a bit and it should spread just fine.” “My hands are no longer cracking and splitting. My husband has commented on how soft my hands are now. The scent is a nice vanilla scent that is not overpowering. I have tried other lotions and hand creams in the past and none of them compare to this one.” “When you put this lotion on people will be attracted to you. It feels amazing on your skin and smells really good!!”

40% off the most popular under desk treadmill

From CB: It can be tough to block off an hour just for fitness. This under desk treadmill might be just the thing for to add in gentle, effective exercise without sacrificing too much time. This Sperax walking pad is the most popular treadmill on Amazon. The classic version is currently on sale for 40% off at $180. It has over 5,300 ratings, 4.3 stars and a B on Fakespot. People love how easy it was to set up and say it’s fun to use. “This walking mat is much more sturdy and heavy duty that I thought. As I am working from home more and more, I have zero time to get my steps in, and I needed something to get 10minutes walking time in between my meetings. I have a very tiny work space, and I really didn’t want to go out of the work space to get my exercise as there just isn’t enough time. I was looking for something I could move in and out of the area under a couch, and picked this product to try. I love it!” “This walking pad is super easy to use, the instructions were easy to follow and it isn’t bulky. It has wheels for easy moving and a remote control while you’re walking. It is very sturdy and worth the money. The display is easy to read and shows time, distance, calories, and speed.”

A stylish bathing suit with tummy control

From Rosie: I bought this bathing suit in the hot pink style last year and love, love, love it. It’s really cute and has great tummy control! Not a fan of wearing pink? There are 27 different colors/styles to choose from. It has a 4.4 star rating, more than 1,820 reviews, and an A on Fakespot. Reviewers love how flattering the fit of this swimsuit is. “Hands down best suit. I’m 9 months postpartum and have a mommie pooch that is taking longer to get in shape. I love that it covers it in a flattering way. It hugs my waist and supports the girls.” “Looks very cute, very flattering, love the adjustable straps and the little skirt.” “I absolutely love this bathing suit. It hugs me in all the right places without being tight. The shirt is cute for the mamas that wanna flaunt it but be a bit more modest.”

A dermatologist-recommended eye mask for dark circles

From Rosie: I saw my dermatologist recently and asked her for recommendations on products that can help with the puffy dark circles under my eyes. She recommended these brightening eye masks by DRMTLGY. They contain hyaluronic acid, caffeine, and niacinamide to help depuff and brighten your under-eye. They’re also great for people with sensitive skin. They have a 4.2 star rating, more than 1,330 reviews, and a B on Fakespot. People who use them are thrilled with the results they’re seeing. “They definitely work. They reduce puffiness and brighten up my under eyes. I should have taken a before and after. I notice when I don’t use them now.” “These are my GO TO for removing puffiness and dark circles! I have tried a ton of other brands and keep coming back to these! They are super moisturizing, and do not irritate like others.” “After just one use, my eyes looked brighter, puffiness diminished, and dark circles vanished. The cooling sensation feels luxurious, and the gentle ingredients are perfect for my sensitive skin. Highly recommend for a quick pick-me-up or pre-event prep.”

A portable solar phone charger for on-the-go and outdoor fun

From Rosie: This portable phone charger is “water-resistant and shock-resistant,” which makes it great if you spend a lot of time outdoors or are traveling. It recharges via solar power or outlet and comes with two USB ports, a micro USB outport, an LED flashlight, and a compass. It comes in five different colors and is compatible with Apple, Samsung, Nexus, and HTC products, Go-pros, and more. Right now, it’s on sale for $20 with an additional 10% off coupon. It has a 4.3 star rating, more than 12,400 reviews, and an A on Fakespot. People say it has come in really handy for on-the-go charging. “ Worked great on a 4 day camping trip where we boated into a beach and camped. Most of us used our phones for cameras/videos and downloaded music so we were able to keep the phones and speakers charged without an issue…It’s been great. I definitely recommend.” “This is great for hunting, fishing, camping we even take ours to ball games. So far they hold up well and the battery life is great!” “I use this all the time to charge my phone when traveling. Works great.”

A tiered shelf to make life more organized

From Rosie: I’ve mentioned this before, but I recently reorganized my pantry, closets, kitchen, and bedroom. I bought several of these organizers for my pantry because I wanted to put condiments and spices in different groups and sections so I’d easily know where to go. I love them because they are tiered and I can see everything without having to move things around. It comes in different sizes, including one that fits in the corner or a lazy susan, which is awesome. There’s also one that expands so you can fit it to your space. On Review Meta, it has a 4.7 star rating and almost 5,000 reviews. Reviewers really like how it’s upped their organization game. “The expandable feature is amazing, space for a little bit bigger of spice bottles as well. So durable and super high quality.” “Love the edges that keep the spices from falling off. Perfect height to view everything at a glance. Really a great little organizer for almost any area be it kitchen, bathroom or bedroom.” “This was used for medicine cabinet in the kitchen. Too many medicines kept accumulating, so I had to get it organized.”

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Here are some photos of Royal Ascot Day 3 (Thursday). I actually just learned this week why King Charles avoided Day 2 and why Prince William attended Ascot on Wednesday – that was the day of the “Prince of Wales’s Stakes,” a specific race. So, that’s why Charles skipped Ascot on Wednesday but he attended Day 1, Day 3 and he’s scheduled to appear today as well. As we’ve heard, he’s trying to become a late-in-life horse enthusiast (as opposed to a long-time one-horse man). Unfortunately, the horses he inherited from his late mother are a bunch of chokers and scrubs! His horses keep losing the big races. On Thursday, his horse finished 12th. Ouch!

I’ve mentioned this before, but I have some begrudging respect for the fact that Queen Camilla is bringing out some Royal Collection jewelry which haven’t been seen for years/decades. That’s what happened on Thursday – Camilla dusted off an epic emerald brooch called the Delhi Carved Emerald Brooch. It was a gift to Queen Mary in 1911, when she visited India. It’s a hexagon-shaped emerald surrounded by round-cut diamonds. According to a jewelry expert, the brooch has rarely been worn by queens and queen consorts because it’s so heavy. It also feels like Camilla’s hats are getting bigger and bigger, right??

Zara Tindall and the Duchess of Edinburgh also attended Ascot on Thursday. I actually sort of like the floral on Sophie’s dress but I don’t get why she’s been wearing such heavy maxi dresses. Zara’s dress is just awful.

Photos courtesy of Cover Images.

Today is Prince William’s 42nd birthday. Kensington Palace released yet another “new photo” to celebrate. I said in the Father’s Day post that I genuinely believe that the pics from this Norfolk photoshoot are the first recent and somewhat authentic pics we’ve gotten from KP in months. The photos for Charlotte and Louis’s birthdays felt like they were taken last year, and Kensington Palace just blatantly lied about when they were taken.

This birthday photo once again features William with Charlotte, Louis and George. It’s a beach scene and they’re all wearing the same clothes as the Father’s Day photo (because this was a whole photoshoot done on the same day). There was some talk about how the Father’s Day pic was AI-generated. Yeah… probably not? It’s more likely that it was a real photo which was just airbrushed to hell, same with this pic. KP posted the pic with the message: “Happy birthday Papa, we all love you so much! Cx.” Hm.

Meanwhile, as a pre-birthday gift, Tom Sykes at the Daily Beast ranked William at #1 on “The New Royal Power List.” From the Daily Beast:

How could anyone be more powerful than the king? Until the beginning of this year, any royal power list would have put King Charles at the top. But his illness has changed things, and focused insiders minds on the simple fact that given his age, the reign of King Charles will necessarily be a relatively short one, even if he makes a full recovery from the cancer he is currently valiantly fighting.

Unlike Charles, who was widely believed at various moments in his apprenticeship as Prince of Wales to want his mother to abdicate so he could take over, and did indeed lobby for and seize more control in the last years of her reign, William is not pushing for increased responsibilities. On the contrary, he and Catherine are distraught at the idea of his destiny being forced upon him before their children finish school. They are quite happy living in the modest confines of their four-bedroom home, Adelaide Cottage, and have no desire to relocate to either Royal Lodge (assuming Prince Andrew can be evicted) or what is assumed will be their final home, Windsor Castle.

Yet as one source says, “There is a sense that William has stepped into the Prince Philip role. Philip ruled the family with a rod of iron and you saw when he died that discipline collapsed. Now William is calling the shots when it comes to family discipline. He can be scary!”

The most notable effect of his role as enforcer is the absolute ban on Harry returning in any way, shape or form to the family fold. Charles would like to see more of Prince Harry, but William, who still refuses to even speak to his brother, isn’t having any of it, and that, says the source, “tells you everything you need to know about who is really in charge.”

[From The Daily Beast]

How many lies can fit into four paragraphs, my god. “William, who still refuses to even speak to his brother.” “They are quite happy living in the modest confines of their four-bedroom home…” LMAO. William screams and cries and briefs against Harry every single month and has done so for more than five years. He’s a now-42-year-old man-child sick with jealousy over his younger brother. And no, William and Kate are not “quite happy living in the modest confines of their four-bedroom home.” Please, no one even believes that they both live there.

Photos courtesy of Kensington Palace, Cover Images.

Long-time readers will remember, I used to adore Jon Hamm. Then we found out about his gross behavior when he was in a fraternity in college, and I sort of lost my crush. So do a lot of people. Around the end of Mad Men, Hamm also went into rehab and he left his longtime partner Jennifer Westfeldt. A few years later, he took up with Anna Osceola and they got married. I think one of the strangest parts of Hamm’s journey in the public eye is that we genuinely believed he was a throwback to an old-Hollywood movie star, and it turns out he was just a cliche frat-bro (at best) the whole time. Now that I’m not part of the Hamm fandom (Hammdom?), I can admit that I think it’s funny that his career has faltered so steadily post-Mad Men. He was supposed to transition from Mad Men into movie stardom and it hasn’t worked out that way in the past nine years. So Hamm covers the latest issue of the Hollywood Reporter and we should take this as his attempt to rebrand himself. The headline of the piece is “Jon Hamm Doesn’t Want to Be Your Leading Man.” Good? Because I’m over it. Some highlights:

He has vitiligo: “It’s waxed and waned. It’s a pigmentation thing. Michael Jackson had it. It affects the Black community significantly more because you have melanin in your skin and it goes away. But I remember waking up one day while shooting the pilot, and it looked like someone had dropped bleach on my chin. Then I looked at my hands and shins, and they had these patches on them. I went to see a couple of doctors, and they were like, “You can try this cream. We don’t really have a solution. But you’re white, it’s probably fine.” Which is what people have said to white people their whole life: “You’re white, you’re probably fine.”

His perspective on ‘Mad Men’ has changed: “You go through it and it’s happening to you — all the notoriety, the press, the fame. But it’s a thing where I look back on it, and I wish I would’ve paid more attention…because it’s happening to you so viscerally and it’s such a swirl all at once and there’s no guidebook, and you go, “Sh-t, man.” But it’s fun to be at the center of the conversation for our business. I’ve had a bit of that with Fargo. And it’s nice to be back in the conversation, to be part of something you’re proud of and that’s hitting people in a way that they want to talk about it.

He’s in therapy: “[I first went] After my dad died [a decade later]. My [half] sister was like, “You are spiraling. You need help.” And I was like, “No, I don’t. No, I don’t.” Then you eventually go, “Oh, yeah, I do.” And if you’re smart enough or present enough in your own feelings, you go, “This is actually tremendously helpful.” And that’s what it was. I went to therapy; I got put on Prozac and was pulled out of the spiral that I was in. I got my brain chemically altered, and I was like, “OK, this is clearly something that I needed.” I check in with it all the time. I’m still in therapy. I have a wonderful therapist. And I understand that when I’m — “distracted” is the wrong word, but when I’m not present — that’s when I can start to spiral into something that’s not healthy. And I go, “I don’t want to do that. I want to be healthy. I want to be happy.”

His thoughts on Matthew Weiner being accused of harassment: “That was a fun time with all of that coming down and going, “Where does anything fall? And are we allowed to have the conversation or is it just immediately shut down? And is it binary or is it a continuum?”… listen, there definitely needed to be a reckoning of some sort. But the binary situation felt very unhelpful because it was tarring a lot of people with a similar brush, where you’re like, “Oh, is that the same? Because it doesn’t feel like it’s the same at all.” I felt that with Aziz Ansari, like, “Wait a minute, this doesn’t feel the same as Harvey [Weinstein].”

He really was vying for roles that went to Matt Damon & Ben Affleck: “There was certainly a version of, “Is this what you want? Do you want to be Ben Affleck?” And I worked with Ben on The Town, and I was like, “OK, I get that, that’s a certain path, but I don’t know if I want that.” I love Ben, he’s a wonderful actor and filmmaker, but I was like, “I don’t know if that’s for me.” I wanted to do different things instead of just being a leading man, whatever that is. And I don’t know how different my career would have been, but I know it hasn’t been the traditional leading man thing. Maybe it’s because I am a little more quirky. I know I look like I should be that guy.”

He’s been talking to Marvel for a while: “It’s not like they were saying, “We want you to be Iron Man.” But there were a lot of conversations, and I’m still in those. I talk to the guys that run Marvel and DC. And I’m a comic book nerd. So, we’ll see. Even that part of the industry is changing… I’ve pitched myself for a couple parts of the Marvel universe, I don’t want to say what exactly, but it was a part of a comic book that I really liked. I was like, “Are you going to do this story?” And they were like, “Yeah, we’re actually thinking of that.” I go, “Good. I should be the guy.” So maybe it’ll work out.

A career he admires: “I look at a guy like Jeff Goldblum’s career — and I know Jeff a bit, we used to have the same therapist — and I’m just like, “God, how awesome to be able to do all the things he’s done.” He had his leading man phase, and he does Marvel and he’ll just roll through and steal the scene, and then he’s doing commercials and he’s funny as sh-t. I see him out and he’s happy. So, consciously or not, I’m modeling my life to be that: varied and happy and fulfilled.

[From THR]

So, I’ll backtrack a little bit and say that it’s not that Hollywood wasn’t into Hamm, it was a combination of Hamm not knowing which projects to do and Hamm not really having a plan for what should come after Mad Men. Clearly, there were some big offers or job opportunities and he just hasn’t taken them. A decade ago, people wanted him to be the next Ben Affleck and he was like, no, I’d rather be Jeff Goldblum? A character actor masquerading as a leading man.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, cover courtesy of THR.

Ben Affleck & Matt Damon will reunite on-screen yet again, this time for a crime thriller called RIP. Hm. Sounds interesting, I guess. [Hollywood Life]
Paul Mescal is a big advocate for short-shorts on men. [OMG Blog]
The state of Louisiana mandates the display of the ten commandments in every public schoolroom. It’s funny because it’s not only unconstitutional, it’s also probably prohibitively expensive for public schools to buy all of those displays. [Pajiba]
Pharrell’s Olympic-themed Louis Vuitton collection is great. [LaineyGossip]
I’m glad Kesha is laughing but this Katy Perry sh-t isn’t funny. [Jezebel]
The backstory on how Kim Kardashian & Chloe Sevigny were paired together for Variety’s actor-on-actor series. Chloe wasn’t mad, y’all. [Buzzfeed]
Remy Ma’s son was arrested for murder. [JustJared]
Belinda Carlisle is having a holiday bash. [Socialite Life]
Matt Czuchry hangs out with his on-screen daughter. [Seriously OMG]
Michael Fassbender & Alicia Vikander were out for the LV show. [RCFA]

Here are more photos from Day 2 of Royal Ascot (Wednesday). Prince William joined the royal procession, as did Princess Eugenie, Jack Brooksbank and Queen Camilla. “The royal procession” means that you get to ride in an open-air carriage and have a “procession” in front of all the peasants. Hilariously, they made William and Camilla ride in the same carriage. William was playing along – he had a sort of deer-in-the-headlights frozen-smile slapped on his face for much of Ascot, while Camilla looked like her dastardly plot had gone awry in some way.

Speaking of Camilla’s dastardly plot, as we discussed yesterday, Carole and Michael Middleton put in an appearance at Ascot. They arrived by themselves, but they were included in the Royal Enclosure, where the royals and VIPs congregate to watch the races. Carole looked especially pariah-ish as it appeared at times that no one would talk to her, but William eventually included her. Which is weird in itself – even back when William was fully conned by the Middletons, he was careful to rarely be photographed with them, especially at big, public events. But something has shifted this year. William made sure to get photographed with Carole on the ground, and then he included her in the Royal Enclosure.

So, whatever happened behind the scenes in the past six months, one of the demands was that the Middletons must be rehabilitated in some way. It speaks volumes that the British media is suddenly refusing to bring up all of the millions in debt and all of the ways in which Carole f–ked over local businesses. Orders must have come from on high. Some photos with the heir were obviously arranged ahead of time, one would think. Still, from what I saw online, Carole’s big return to public life went down poorly with the general public. They see through this obvious and offensive whitewashing.

Embed from Getty Images

Embed from Getty Images

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid, Cover Images, Getty.