Over the weekend, the Mail decided to push a narrative that Prince Harry is desperate to come back to royal life and he’s begging the Windsors to please let him come back (without Meghan) to do some ribbon-cuttings because he’s so bored with living in a Montecito mansion and banging his hot wife. As you can imagine, “sources close to Harry” shut down the story within 48 hours, insisting that of course Harry has no desire to return to the UK to live and work. People Mag also got calls from the Sussex camp, and they underlined that no, lol, Harry isn’t coming back, but again, he would love to visit every so often so he could do some work with his British charities.

Speculation has grown that the Duke of Sussex is seeking a return to royal life, following a Sept. 1 report by the Mail on Sunday. The report suggested that Harry, who stepped back from royal duties with Meghan Markle in 2020, has been asking former aides and friends to explore ways for a partial reintegration into the royal fold. However, sources who previously worked with Harry tell PEOPLE they were surprised by the claim.

Instead, the Duke of Sussex is happy with his life in California, focused on raising his young family with Meghan and continuing his work there, with an upcoming visit in New York City later this month, PEOPLE understands.

What is clear, as one ally noted, is that Harry is eager to visit friends in the U.K. and work directly, rather than through Zoom, with the charities he remains connected to in his homeland, including WellChild. He also wants to bring his family — Meghan, 43, and their children, Prince Archie, 5, and Princess Lilibet, 3 — back to the U.K. for visits. However, he feels that his lack of automatic access to official security, which was lost after he and Meghan stepped back from royal duties, is a significant obstacle.

During his visit to the U.K. for the 10th anniversary of the Invictus Games in May, including a service at St. Paul’s Cathedral, Harry was said to have truly enjoyed reconnecting with the community and meeting old friends and supporters. Despite conflicting reports about why he chose not to stay at an offered royal residence, a royal source tells PEOPLE that the trip “went well,” noting that Harry was clearly uplifted by spending time with friends and family.

“Hopefully, he can find it increasingly easy in the future,” a family friend says.

[From People]

The security issue is fascinating to me because Harry has made it perfectly clear that this is the biggest obstacle. The Windsors always conveniently forget this until the Sussexes travel somewhere else where their security is guaranteed, then suddenly it’s “wHaT abOuT THe sECuriTy.”

Speaking of, from what I can tell, Harry’s visit to the UK last week was done so under-the-radar, he probably did not inform Buckingham Palace OR the Met Police about his visit. The “tell” is that his visit surprised everyone, as evidenced by their hysterical reporting over the course of five days. Harry is not flatly required to inform BP and the Met Police of his visits, he only has to give them 30 days notice if he wants temporary royal protection, which is judged on a case by case basis. It feels like Harry didn’t notify anyone but the Spencer family about his plans to attend Robert Fellowes’ funeral, and Harry reportedly stayed with his uncle, the Earl Spencer, at Althorp. This was too much for Sarah Vine to take. She pissed out this Mail column:

Far from signalling some form of rapprochement with his estranged family, Prince Harry’s visit to the UK last week (to attend a memorial service for his aunt Jane’s late husband, Lord Fellowes) seems to have only widened the abyss. Not only did he and his brother Prince William fail to exchange a single word in church, perhaps more tellingly it has now emerged that he stayed with his uncle, Charles Spencer, at the family’s stately home, Althorp, in Northamptonshire.

You may well ask, why shouldn’t Prince Harry stay with his uncle? After all, his mother is buried at Althorp, which means a part of him will always call it home. That’s true. But the way the information has come to light – via an American publication with established links to the Sussexes – is certainly intriguing.

Prince Harry could easily have been put up at one of the royal residences for this visit. The King has made it clear that his door is always open to his youngest son. But not only did Harry choose not to (in fact, he didn’t see his father at all on this trip, despite the fact that the King is still receiving treatment for cancer), he made a point of staying with Earl Spencer.

It’s fair to say there is no love lost between the monarch and the Earl. Anyone who remembers Earl Spencer’s coruscating speech at Princess Diana’s funeral in 1997 knows that. He has always held the King – and by extension the Royal Family – responsible for his sister’s agonies, and he’s not entirely wrong. Princess Diana was poorly treated by Charles in some respects; in others, though, she very much gave as good as she got.

Nonetheless, Harry clearly takes a more one-sided view, and has said as much in his various attacks on screen and in print against his father. In fact, many of the Duke’s difficulties, especially over the past few years, arguably stem from what he sees as the ultimate betrayal of his mother by his father. Not only does he need someone to blame for his loss – he also needs someone to punish. To begin with, it was just his father and, in private, Queen Camilla. But now Prince William is being punished, too (along with Kate) for their decision to put duty ahead of anything else.

This snub to his father and brother sends a clear, unequivocal message. Prince Harry is not offering any kind of olive branch; he’s doubling down.

[From The Daily Mail]

“Princess Diana was poorly treated by Charles in some respects; in others, though, she very much gave as good as she got.” She did not give as good as she got – the woman is dead and Charles is married to one of his many side chicks. They’re trying to say that Harry is absorbed in his mother’s grievances, when really, he’s a man who is simply close to his mother’s family. He wants to be able to freely visit with all sides of his family. As for “Harry should have stayed at a palace instead of Althorp” – the whole point was that he was in stealth-mode for security reasons. The second he informed his father of his plans or asked for a room, Charles would have gone on another briefing spree about how he hates Harry and never wants him to come back. Also: do not underestimate how many of these hissy fits are about Charles’s anger at the Spencers.

Photos courtesy of Cover Images.

Angelina Jolie is currently riding a professional high. Maria is her first lead role in a mainstream film in many years, and the film premiered to widespread acclaim in Venice and Telluride. People are already talking about her potential Oscar campaign for Best Actress. Her personal life is going well these days too – her kids are happy and healthy (minus Pax’s recent accident) and everyone seems well-adjusted and engaged. None of the kids want anything to do with Brad Pitt, which is fine because he moved out of LA and he’s more focused on his fauxmance with Ines de Ramon. Brad and Ines made their big red-carpet debut in Venice just a few days after Angelina left town. Well, it looks like Brad is salty that Angelina is getting so much positive attention, because magically, look at People Mag’s cover story: “Can They Finally Move On?” Hey, People editors, you’re asking this about a man who abused his wife and children AND THEN SUED HER for legally selling her half of their shared property. Surely the better question is: can Brad move on?

The night before the[Wolfs] premiere, Pitt and de Ramon, who have been together in Europe while the actor shoots his racing film F1, joined Clooney and his wife, Amal, for dinner at Ristorante da Ivo, where they happily joked with fellow diners. As Clooney pretended to be a waiter, “his sidekick was Brad Pitt,” says a guest. “Who will ever believe us?”

Those well-orchestrated, separate presences at the festival could be seen as a master class in keeping the peace. Despite it being nearly eight years since Jolie filed for divorce from Pitt on Sept. 20, 2016, the two, who were ruled legally single in 2019, have yet to finalize the details of their split as they’ve endured a contentious legal battle over finances and custody of their kids Maddox, 23, Pax, 20, Zahara, 19, Shiloh, 18, and 16-year-old twins Vivienne and Knox.

In the past few years, a separate court fight over Château Miraval, the French villa and winery they bought in 2012 for an estimated $60 million, has opened a new public front in their war. The couple launched Miraval wines in 2013, and the first 6,000 bottles of rosé they produced sold out in five hours.

Now as the former couple rev up their careers with bold new films, a Pitt source insists “he’s not rooting against” Jolie, and a source close to her contends she finds the situation “incredibly sad.” Their events in Venice were “of course” spread out, festival artistic director Alberto Barbera told press, leaving “no way that they can cross each other.”

While the world waits for the exes’ split saga to finally conclude, those closest to them find it “shocking” that they still “can’t find a resolution and finalize the divorce,” says an insider. The focus for now remains on their kids and a desire to “at least resolve the matrimonial side of things while the Miraval case plays out,” another insider adds. “Hopefully they can both get on the same page.”

[From People]

Those closest to them find it “shocking” that they still “can’t find a resolution and finalize the divorce.” What I find shocking is every move Angelina has made to extract herself from Brad legally, financially, physically and emotionally has resulted in nothing but smears, lies, tantrums, financial abuse and lawsuits from Brad. Brad is “not rooting against” Angelina? That’s not what it looks like. It looks like Angelina’s toxic and abusive ex-husband is desperately trying to attach himself to her recent good press. And the more Brad’s side publicly pressures Angelina to “get on the same page,” the more convinced I am that Brad is the one holding up the divorce.

Photos courtesy of Cover Images. Cover courtesy of People.

Jose Andres is a chef and a humanitarian. He operates World Central Kitchen, where chefs go into warzones and natural disaster areas to provide meals to anyone and everyone. WCK has been in Haiti, Ukraine, Puerto Rico, Turkey and disaster areas within the US as well. Andres is regularly featured in Western media as an all-around great guy doing great work. The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are particularly supportive of Andres and WCK, and Andres has said many supportive and lovely things about Harry and Meghan. Well, Andres has now joined the board of Earthshot, Prince William’s sad busywork scheme. This is now being called “humiliating” for… Harry and Meghan. Don’t you get it, William lives inside his own ass and he only understands the world through the prism of hatred and jealousy for his brother. You can’t tell me that William didn’t seek out Andres because Andres is close to the Sussexes. And isn’t that sad? Isn’t that humiliating for William? Still, the Daily Beast’s Royalist dutifully acted as stenographer to Kensington Palace’s talking points:

Picking a side in a divorce is always uncomfortable. Some people, of course, manage to stay friends with both parties. Now José Andrés is having a go at being allied with both Prince Harry and Prince William.For the legendary chef and founder of humanitarian food program World Central Kitchen (WCK) has joined the board of Prince William’s Earthshot Prize—despite having long been one of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s most prestigious associates.

His organisation has previously received funding from Archewell running to hundreds of thousands of dollars, and the Sussexes have described him as a “longtime friend and partner.” He has gushingly described them in return as “dear friends” who “bring hope to each and every community you touch, always with a smile, always with empathy.”

Andrés, who was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize earlier this year, [said] in a statement on the Earthshot website: “I am thrilled to join the Earthshot Prize Council to help showcase the changemakers pushing the boundaries of innovation and ingenuity around the world. There is so much we can do to inspire the world to see food as a powerful tool for creativity and change, and Earthshot solutions are at the forefront of this movement.”

A British reputation management consultant who has previously worked with both William and Harry and the wider royal family told The Daily Beast: “José Andrés is a uniquely respected figure, and he was very much promoted by the Sussexes over the Covid years. The fact that William can just poach him for Earthshot is not just humiliating for Harry and Meghan, it is a very graphic illustration of the power differential between William and Harry. Faced with a choice, when it comes to advancing the goals of his organisation, Andrés has chosen to be allied with the future king of England, and Harry and Meghan will have to either accept it or cut ties with him themselves.”

[From The Daily Beast]

There are some royal stories which genuinely turn my stomach, and this is one of them. For William to so clearly go out of his way to “poach” Andres and then turn around and try to claim that the poach is “humiliating” for the Sussexes?? For William the charisma-vacuum to have so little going on that he stalks the people associated with Harry and Meghan? Besides which, William is showing his hand here, and showing that it’s all a game of one-upmanship with his brother. Harry and Meghan supported Andres and WCK because they believe in the work and they support Andres’ mission. The Sussexes genuinely care about getting food to people in terrible conditions. They care about the issue. But to William, it’s just moving chess pieces against the brother he’s insanely jealous of.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images, Andres’ IG.

While AI can seem like a fun version of Photoshop at times (like imagining what Katy Perry would have worn to the Met Gala), it can and has often been used to pernicious effect (like Trump imagining Taylor Swift “endorsing” him). I think management teams for celebs must all now be factoring in resources to track and stop illegal uses. Or, you have an actor who’s on the lookout himself. And so it is with American Treasure Tom Hanks, who took to his Instagram to warn his fans directly about a rush of fake ads in which an AI-generated replica of him shills “miracle cures.” No, AI. You don’t do that to Tom Hanks.

Tom Hanks is issuing a warning to his followers on social media to be wary of advertisements using his likeness that he says were created “fraudulently and through AI.”

“There are multiple ads over the internet falsely using my name, likeness, and voice promoting miracle cures and wonder drugs,” Hanks wrote on his Instagram page Thursday. “These ads have been created without my consent, fraudulently and through AI.”

He added that he has “nothing to do with these posts or the products and treatments, or the spokespeople touting these cures.”

Hanks, who has openly talked about living with type 2 diabetes, acknowledged that he only works “with my board certified doctor regarding my treatment.”

“Do not be fooled. Do not be swindled. Do not lose your hard earned money,” he wrote.

Hanks is among many celebrities, including Drake, The Weeknd and Taylor Swift, to name a few, whose name and likeness have been falsely used in AI-generated images, songs, political endorsements or advertisements posted online.

Several state and federal legislators have recently launched or pushed for expanded protections against the misuse of individual identities in the digital era.

The state of Tennessee recently enacted a law aimed at protecting people from unauthorized use of content that mimics their image or voice called The Ensuring Likeness Voice and Image Security Act, or ELVIS Act, which went into effect last month.

[From WQOW.com]

This is actually at least the second time I’m aware of that Hanks has had to rebut a medically-related, AI-created ad featuring his likeness. I don’t really understand why the sham medical industry has targeted Hanks to promote their products. Not that there’s anything he can’t play! The man is a thoughtful, empathic actor (and writer too!) who makes it seem effortless. He just doesn’t scream “doctor” to me, particularly. But more importantly, leave him alone, AI! I laughed uproariously this year when George Santos sued Jimmy Kimmel, saying Kimmel “took advantage of Santos’ gregarious personality.” You know what? I dare say that the “gregarious personality” defense is actually applicable here! To all nefarious actors out there, human and software alike: do not take advantage of Mr. Hanks’ amiable nature. He knows how to clap back when he needs to. And well done to Tennessee for not only passing that new law, but for working on the name until they got the acronym ELVIS Act.

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Photos credit: Faye’s Vision/Cover Images, UPPA/Starstock/Photoshot Photo, Look Press Agency/Look Press / Avalon

Everyone always jokes about how their devices are listening to them in order to give them target advertisements, and once again, we have confirmation that it actually happens. Cox Media Group, a conservative-leaning media, news, and entertainment company that counts Facebook, Amazon, and Google as its clients, admitted in one of its client pitch decks that it uses “Active Listening” software to listen to users thru their smartphones so they can send us ads accordingly. If you’ve ever made that “my phone is listening” joke, you can properly feel vindicated now.

In a pitch deck to prospective customers, one of Facebook’s alleged marketing partners explained how it listens to users’ smartphone microphones and advertises to them accordingly. As 404 Media reports based on documents leaked to its reporters, the TV and radio news giant Cox Media Group (CMG) claims that its so-called “Active Listening” software uses artificial intelligence (AI) to “capture real-time intent data by listening to our conversations.”

“Advertisers can pair this voice-data with behavioral data to target in-market consumers,” the deck continues.

In the same slideshow, CMG counted Facebook, Google, and Amazon as clients of its “Active Listening” service. After 404 reached out to Google about its partnership, the tech giant removed the media group from the site for its “Partners Program,” which prompted Meta, the owner of Facebook, to admit that it is reviewing CMG to see if it violates any of its terms of service.

An Amazon spokesperson, meanwhile, told 404 that its Ads arm “has never worked with CMG on this program and has no plans to do so. The spox added, confusingly, that if one of its marketing partners violates its rules, the company will take action.

This latest leak marks the third time in a year that 404 has reported on CMG’s shady voice targeting service. Last December, the independent news site not only put a marketing company on blast for boasting about such creepy tech on its podcast, but also revealed the existence of CMG’s Active Listening feature.

Together with this latest update to the CMG saga, these stories bolster longstanding suspicions about advertisers using our phones to listen to us.

“We know what you’re thinking. Is this even legal?” a since-deleted Cox blog post from November 2023 noted. “It is legal for phones and devices to listen to you. When a new app download or update prompts consumers with a multi-page term of use agreement somewhere in the fine print, Active Listening is often included.”

Beyond taking a big game, CMG did not cop to how it acquires its alleged voice data, instead saying only that it can identify users who are “ready-to-buy” and create targeted ad lists based on their interests. For this service, the media group that specializes in hyperlocal news charges $100 per day to target folks in a 10-mile radius, and $200 per day to target those in a 20-mile radius.

In its own reporting on the leak, Gizmodo found that CMG had not yet responded to its email asking for more information about “Active Listening,” and Futurism has also not yet heard back from our own queries.

Given that the company boasted about it on its public — and still archived — website before anyone began paying attention, however, it seems like it would be pretty hard at this juncture to deny that it was charging for its eavesdropping.

[From Futurism]

This is gross but completely unsurprising. It is honestly kinda chilling that these companies can identify us as consumers in such detail. It is absolutely f-cking unacceptable that it’s legal for companies to have our phones and devices listen to us. I don’t care if it’s hidden within the fine print of some agreement. It should not be this easy to just sign away our rights to privacy. I swear, sometimes, these companies can read our minds as well as listen to our phones. I have been targeted-advertised things that I swear I have only thought of, not said out loud! I want to know how they do that trick.

PSA: I just turned off active listening on my iPhone. If you haven’t already done so, you can go into “Settings,” then into “Privacy & Security.” Tap the “Microphone” option and turn that puppy off on any apps that have no business having access to it.

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Tilda Swinton wore Chanel & Julianne Moore wore custom Bottega Veneta at the Venice Film Festival premiere of The Room Next Door. They also got a 17-minute standing ovation, as did writer-director Pedro Almovodar. [Just Jared]
I feel sorry for Amy Ryan – completely overshadowed by her costars being idiots at the Venice Film Festival. Her gown was meh. [RCFA]
George Clooney & Brad Pitt looked awful in Venice. [Socialite Life]
More photos from Venice – Sydney Sweeney! [Buzzfeed]
I’m not looking forward to the Joker: Folie a Deux promo. [LaineyGossip]
I agree, Cheryl Hines is a bad person. [Pajiba]
Glenn Close wore a golden basket?? [Go Fug Yourself]
The “halo brows” trend is dumb, you guys. [OMG Blog]
The trailer for Screamboat. [Seriously OMG]
I always get grifter vibes from 90 Day Fiance stars. [Starcasm]
Vanna White worried she wouldn’t have chemistry with Ryan Seacrest. [Hollywood Life]

George and Amal Clooney walked the red carpet together for the Wolfs premiere at the Venice Film Festival on Sunday night. The Clooneys were in Venice for several days and these photos were supposed to be the big, splashy premiere which would launch Wolfs and make it a much-needed box office success for Clooney and Brad Pitt. Hilariously, AppleTV+ is no longer giving this film a wide theatrical release. The Clooneys put on this big show for what is basically a direct-to-streaming mess.

Amal looked nice, albeit sort of like a showgirl? She’s done this before, and I suspect that George prefers when she’s styled this way, with big hair and heavy makeup. Her gown was Atelier Versace, and she wore Cartier jewelry. George wore Armani, of course. Amal pulls off most shades of yellow but this feels a tad same-y to me? It just feels like we’ve already seen both of them do versions of all of this a million times before.

Meanwhile, George is still trying to figure out what to say now that President Biden has left the presidential race. Back in July, George wrote a NYT op-ed in which he mocked Joe Biden for being old and said that Biden should step down and the Democrats should have a mini-primary. The op-ed was part of a coordinated effort by certain Democrats to not only get a sitting president out of the race, but to marginalize the sitting vice president. They wanted a contested convention too, don’t forget about that. Well, here’s what George said about everything that’s happened:

“The person who should be applauded is the president, who has done the most selfless thing anybody has done since George Washington, and that’s the truth. All of the machinations that got us there, none of that is gonna be remembered. And it shouldn’t be. What should be remembered is the selfless act of someone who, it’s very hard to let go of power — we know that, we’ve seen it all around the world — and for someone to say I think there’s a better path forward, all the credit goes to him. And that’s really the truth, and all of the rest of it will be long gone and forgotten and so I’m just very proud of where we are in the state of the world right now.”

[Transcribed via Reuters]

“All of the machinations that got us there, none of that is gonna be remembered.” LMAO. No, George, I will never forget. There are a lot of people who will never forget. The disloyalty, the classlessness, the lack of grace, the public political malpractice. I still haven’t heard one g–damn thing about George opening up his purse for Kamala Harris either.

George Clooney called President Joe Biden selfless for ending his reelection bid pic.twitter.com/i4M9JIzPLK

— Reuters (@Reuters) September 1, 2024

Photos courtesy of Cover Images.

Over the long holiday weekend here in America, the Mail decided to splash a major story on its front page: Prince Harry wants to come back to the UK! Not only that, Harry is plotting a return and the Windsors – especially Prince William – are in a position of strength in the negotiations! If this all seems like a royalist fan-fic lunacy, then congrats, you are an intelligent consumer of royal gossip. It absolutely feels like the British media generally and the Mail specifically are getting kicked in the teeth by the Sussexes these days. Harry and Meghan didn’t give them access in Nigeria or Colombia, and then Harry was able to fly into the UK for his uncle’s funeral without the Mail’s knowledge. This story is designed to be Harry’s punishment for their lack of access:

Prince Harry has sought advice from trusted former aides in Britain on how to mastermind a return from exile in the United States, The Mail on Sunday can reveal. Sources said the Duke of Sussex is consulting people ‘from his old life’ as a working royal after allegedly growing dissatisfied with advice from American-based image experts.

The overtures signify the first stage in a strategy to ‘rehabilitate’ Harry that would involve him spending more time in the UK to repair his relationship with his father and potentially initiate a partial return to the royal fold.

Sources stressed that Harry and Meghan, who have spent the past four years living in self-imposed exile in California with their two children, are not seeking a permanent return.

This newspaper can also reveal that the couple have parted company with yet another American PR adviser. Christine Weil Schirmer joined the Sussexes in 2020 as head of communications but left quietly late last year. She is the tenth staff member to have left the couple in three years and last month took up a job with PR giant Brunswick advising clients on reputation management.

‘Harry is turning away from all sorts of Hollywood publicists and is seeking counsel from his old friends and associates,’ said a source. ‘He is clearly reaching out thinking, “I need to do something different because what I’m doing is clearly not working”. In short, he is rethinking the way he operates.’

Prince Harry’s representatives did not respond to a request for comment. Ending his rancorous feud with his brother William is not seen as a realistic goal, but last week this newspaper revealed that the King may be open to healing the rift with his youngest son, and had consulted with faith leaders as he explores the nature of forgiveness.

At least one of the advisers approached by Harry is a trusted figure ‘from the old school’ known for loyalty and discretion. One friend has already devised a strategy for how Harry might begin moving in UK circles again – even carrying out ‘very low-key royal duties’ – although the Duke is said to be open to ideas from many sources. A source said the friend ‘believes if Harry comes back to the UK with zero fuss, and does zero publicity and attends very mundane events, he could prove himself and win over the British public again. He would have to accept, though, that he might be reduced to ribbon cutting for a long period. But it would give him purpose to work again.’ But the source said it would only happen ‘if certain members of the family could find it in themselves to allow it’.

Separately, the Duke, who turns 40 this month, has sent conciliatory messages to a number of old friends in the UK on WhatsApp. They are ready and willing to help him smooth a path back to Britain, with some referring to their task as Operation Bring Harry In From The Cold. Friends are hoping the Duke’s former private secretary Edward Lane Fox might spearhead a comeback. One said: ‘If anyone can do it, Edward can. Last time I saw him I wanted to take him by the shoulders and say, “Ed, please bring our boy home”. It’s the right time now.’

Asked about helping Harry, Mr Lane Fox told this newspaper: ‘It’s not something I’ve got a view on I’m afraid.’

[From The Daily Mail]

“He would have to accept, though, that he might be reduced to ribbon cutting for a long period. But it would give him purpose to work again.” Harry will be in New York in a few weeks on behalf of his work with the Diana Award, African Parks, The HALO Trust, and Travalyst. In addition to that work, he obviously has Invictus, Sentebale, Archewell and BetterUp. My point is that he’s a busy man who isn’t begging to come back ALONE to those bitter, awful people just so he can do ribbon-cuttings and be his brother’s doormat. He would also not accept any situation in which he leaves his wife and children for weeks or months at a time.

There’s an update on this Mail story, which I’m covering separately. I just think that this needed to be a stand-alone piece to discuss.

Photos courtesy of Backgrid, Cover Images. Cover courtesy of the Mail.

Here are some photos of Brad Pitt and his girlfriend Ines de Ramon in Venice. I’m including photos of their arrival in Venice and then pics from the big Venice premiere of Wolfs on Sunday. This was Brad and Ines’s first red carpet together and it was widely predicted that this would be their debut. My general thoughts on these photos? Ines is an attractive woman and I sort of feel sorry for her, but whatever, she made her bed. Brad looks horrendous – like a man who overdid the pre-Venice injectables and plastic surgery, then tried to cover it up with too much makeup and a bright orange tanning spray.

You know how I know that this relationship is weird? Because “sources close to Brad” can’t shut up about it and the whole thing comes across as very uncool and performative. This should be a moment for the photos to speak for themselves, the big couple debut on a red carpet, pizzazz, glamour, etc. Instead, Brad’s team wanted to step all over Angelina Jolie’s good press just a few days earlier, so they told Page Six that Ines and Brad have been holed up at Chateau Miraval this summer (so much for vacationing with the Clooneys?) and that Ines has been spending a lot of time in the chateau co-owned by Yuri Shefler. Don’t forget this item dropped in People:

Brad Pitt and Ines de Ramon’s relationship is going strong after the pair enjoyed “a great summer together,” according to a source.

“Brad’s been working in Europe, so they’ve spent a lot of time there,” the source exclusively tells PEOPLE. “He’s serious about Ines,” the source adds. “He’s very happy and enjoys spending time with her. She’s easygoing and everyone likes her.”

[From People]

Don’t you get it? They definitely, 100% spent the summer together and this is not a showmance of convenience. Meanwhile, Brad’s team couldn’t help themselves – they were so mad that Angelina was treated like a queen at Venice, they dropped a separate item into People Magazine in which a source close to Pitt said it’s “pretty shocking” that Brad and Angelina still “can’t find a resolution and finalize the divorce.” Does Brad really want to keep banging this drum? Because I’m absolutely positive that he’s the one holding everything up.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid.

The long Labor Day weekend was full of nonsense from the British media. Last week, they were stunned to learn that Prince Harry flew into the UK quietly for Robert Fellowes’ funeral, and it definitely feels like Kensington Palace led the way with tons of briefings, post-funeral, about how Harry is desperate to return to the UK solo and he’s begging for scraps at the Windsors’ table. You can tell that those stories are coming from a certain angry egg because, within the breathless reporting of Harry’s “plot to return,” there are always references to Prince William’s incandescent rage at Harry. Well, this will no doubt increase the egg-rage. “Sources close to Harry” told the Telegraph that all of the Kensington Palace fantasist stories about Harry returning to be Huevo’s doormat are false.

The Duke of Sussex has “no interest” in returning to royal duties in the UK and is focused solely on his future in the United States, well-placed sources have told The Telegraph.

Prince Harry’s efforts to maintain contact with old friends, coupled with an evident desire to repair his relationship with the King, have prompted renewed speculation that he is seeking a fresh start and even an official working role within the family fold. But multiple sources close to the Duke have said this is not the case and he is happy and settled in California, with an “amazing” new set of friends and several projects on the horizon.

Since relocating to the US, the Duke has maintained contact with a tight group of trusted advisers with whom he worked in his former UK life, some of whom he occasionally turns to for advice. However, they too expressed surprise at the suggestion that he might one day return to royal duties and are unaware of an alleged “blueprint” outlining how he might one day begin moving in UK circles again, the existence of which was first reported by The Mail on Sunday.

The newspaper claimed certain “friends” want a key lieutenant to lead a “comeback campaign”, naming Ed Lane Fox, the Duke’s former private secretary, as the ideal candidate. Mr Lane Fox, a former captain in the Household Cavalry, has maintained contact with him and sits on the board of the Invictus Games.

Although Team Sussex seemingly wanted to keep the Duke’s attendance [at Robert Fellowes’ funeral] under wraps, it demonstrated that he could come and go with minimal fanfare and, therefore, minimal security risk. The visit also showed that the Duke is keen to stand shoulder to shoulder with his family. Those close to him maintain that, despite the ongoing rift with his father and brother, he is incredibly happy and is determined to look forwards, not back.

[From The Telegraph]

Do you want me to say it? I will say it. Prince William is pathetic and his obsession with briefing about and against Harry at this late stage of the game is really sad. William doesn’t seem to realize that it’s not 2019 anymore and Harry isn’t going to just sit around and do nothing while William lies about him far and wide. As much as the Windsors complain about “the Oprah interview” and “the book,” they fundamentally do not understand that all Harry has to do to combat their bullsh-t is call up a friendly journalist and deny the palace briefing. Of course Harry has no interest in leaving his huge mansion and his family just to go back to do ribbon-cuttings for William. It’s absurd that the William’s office even orchestrated that cover story.

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