One of my favorite things about royal-approved messaging from palace staffers is that they always try to make it sound like they’re super-busy doing everything else but working on the giant crisis they themselves are responsible for. The entire world is asking if the Princess of Wales is still on this plane of existence and why someone who had serious abdominal surgery would manipulate a Frankenphoto as proof of life, and Kensington Palace’s staff are gaily briefing, “we’re too busy to deal with that, we have do much other stuff to do!” Like, Kate has not worked a day since Christmas and William looks like he fell ass first into a bottle of tequila, what else are their staffers doing with their time? Be a manager! Do your job! Speaking of, Harper’s Bazaar got this exclusive:

The entire world seems to be awaiting Kensington Palace’s next move following the unexpected controversy over the family portrait released on Sunday, which showed Catherine, Princess of Wales, for the first time since the firm announced she’d been hospitalized for a “planned abdominal surgery” in mid-January. But we are told Kate and her team are holding steadfast through the storm.

A royal source tells Bazaar that the atmosphere at Kensington Palace offices has been “tense, but there is a sense that this will pass. They aren’t too worried.”

A Buckingham Palace insider adds: “Some staff can’t quite believe how badly KP have cocked things up by not paying close enough attention to what was being released to the world. Didn’t anyone there think to check the photo before it went out?” The insider adds that King Charles III is being “kept abreast” of latest developments, but “isn’t too concerned” about the current situation.

As for Kate’s recovery, a source says the Princess of Wales is “doing well, all things considered,” adding that the princess has left the house at least three times in the past two weeks. On one of those occasions, just over a week ago, she was “smiling, upbeat, and enjoying being out.”

A royal insider says, “[This situation] has caused some stress for the princess, but she tends not to pay attention to online chatter or even the press. I think people forget that this was simply a mother wanting her family to look their best in a photograph that was going to be heavily scrutinized. She was protecting her children.”

Regarding the various rumors surrounding Kate’s so-called disappearance, the source added that the palace is ignoring the “ridiculous conspiracy theories. It was always made very clear that following the princess’s surgery, she would recover in private until returning to duties after Easter. Nothing has changed on that front.”

The Buckingham Palace insider says that, while “this is all rather unfortunate, there is also a sense that, despite the hysteria and fevered online response, it will also blow over soon. This is not the first storm to hit these parts!”

[From Harper’s Bazaar]

Note: this is the first time I’ve seen unnamed Buckingham Palace staff criticize KP’s screwups. Beyond this, it’s been radio silence, which is another story altogether. While there’s a lot of incompetence to go around, at least BP’s staffers can do their jobs without tripping over their d-cks 24-7. That being said, ostriching is not the answer here, and these people have literally no concept of how social media or international media function. They’re like “oh this will blow over, it’s no biggie!” Agence France-Presse’s director compared the Windsors to North Korea and Iran. The biggest international press agencies in the world have said that the palace has zero credibility and they’ll be going over every press release and photo with a fine-toothed comb. The British media was caught with their pants down, having colluded with the palace to bury these issues for months, and they’re mad as hell.

And if Kate is choppering off to Norfolk regularly and getting out of the house, why are they not planning to relaunch/revive/resurrect Wiglet Christ Superstar on Easter Sunday? Why are these sources like “we told you AFTER Easter?”

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid.