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New mom Blake Lively covers the May issue of Allure and opens up about family life with husband Ryan Reynolds and their 3-month-old daughter James.

On how motherhood has changed her: “I feel like I’ve figured out the most important thing to me. And everything supports that… And also, having a child makes you realize that we pass on for a reason. You think, ‘I have to go, because it makes room for you.’”

On breastfeeding: “[It’s] a full-time job. I’m, like, driving down the road, pumping.”

On her baby bump reveal on Preserve: “My brother took that photo—he’s an amazing photographer. That moment was really neat, and I was scared to take that picture because I’m very private. I had a feeling that we weren’t going to get away with our privacy for a while. That was my way of owning that moment. I can’t be someone like Beyoncé and be like— [her 2011 VMAs announcement],” she joked. “But it was important for us. It was a struggle, because we want to keep our privacy, but we also don’t want our lives to be exploited by other people. So we did it simply; it was a quiet way, an elegant way.”

On the concept of “having it all”: “Most of the things I do are all-consuming, but somehow I find a way to do it all. It’s not having it all; it’s about doing it all, but it’s dangerous to dilute that to a catchphrase. Having it all could be having a happy, healthy family, and you could be a mom who stays at home, and that is the most admirable thing you could do. Or it could be having a profession that you really believe in, and not having a family, and doing what fulfills you… If it’s not a part of a conversation with someone face-to-face, those bites are why women tear each other apart or why the media will tear people apart.”

For more from Blake, go to Allure…

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