There are really only two scenarios for How Bristol Palin Got Knocked Up Again. Scenario #1: she had sex with her then-fiancé Dakota Meyer and maybe she used contraception and it failed, or maybe she didn’t use anything and predictably got knocked up. This scenario also involves the fact that IF she’s carrying Dakota’s baby, then he’s pretty much already a deadbeat dad who is not involved whatsoever. Scenario #2: Bristol had sex with an as-yet-unidentified man who is not Dakota Meyer and that sex and pregnancy is sort of the reason why the wedding and engagement was called off. I really don’t see any other scenario. Both are pretty bad. Scenario #1 makes Dakota look like a douche and Scenario #2 makes Bristol look like a trashy hypocrite living in a glass house.

So that’s where we are now. Radar claims that Dakota is definitely the daddy, but it’s Radar and I think they’re just guessing. And here’s the newest wrinkle: Dakota threw a pissy hissy fit on his Facebook in which he TOTALLY blasts all of us for paying attention to the wrong things. You guys are about to get TOLD.

Within the past 24 hours there have been three terrorist style attacks across the world. There has been an incident at a US company owned gas factory in Lyon, France Leaving one dead and two injured. Another incident in Tunisia with 28 people lost in an assault on a west tourist, mostly British. And finally, a blast at a Shiite mosque in Kuwait.

All ISIS/ISIL attacks and all overshadowed by the dog and pony show being put on here domestically by some politicians and mass media. The news that feeds the “inquiring mind want to know” is inconsequential compared to that which is truly relevant but lost on the back page. I urge you to go beyond what is spoon fed to you and see what is truly going on out there. ?#?NeverOutgunned? ?#?DakotaMeyer0317?

[From Facebook]

These types of arguments are always stupid. Of course there’s always something awful happening in the world. Within the same 24 hours, there were awful terrorist attacks, SCOTUS made marriage equality happen in all 50 states, SCOTUS upheld the ACA, SCOTUS upheld the Fair Housing Act, President Obama took us all to church in Charleston AND a hypocritical a—hole announced her second unwed pregnancy. We can care about all of it all at once. And if there’s one thing that makes someone look bad/guilty, it’s making a false equivalency argument. How dare you care about Josh Duggar molesting his siblings? Don’t you know ISIL is killing people? How dare you care about marriage equality, don’t you know that there’s a refugee crisis?!?! Dakota is so basic.

Meanwhile, do you remember how Bristol grifted hard for hundreds of thousands of dollars to promote “abstinence” on behalf of the Candie’s Foundation? HAHAHA. It’s true. Well, Candie’s released a statement about Bristol’s second pregnancy: “In 2011, when she was just 19, Bristol Palin was enormously helpful to The Candie’s Foundation in our mission to educate teenagers about the devastating consequences of teen pregnancy. Her courage, while still a teen herself, to admit her mistakes so publicly in an effort to help others was remarkably brave. Today, at 24, we can only offer our support to Bristol and her family and respect her request for privacy.” That’s another thing that’s pissing me off – I’ll only respect her privacy when she respects everyone else’s privacy. She’s a judgy, holier-than-thou wingnut spreading her mother’s brand of judgy, delusional faux-conservative “family values” and I love that it’s blown up in her face.

Photos courtesy of Dakota Meyer’s social media.