A soaking wet Chris Pratt covers the new “Must Issue” of Entertainment Weekly. Pratt is everywhere right now with Jurassic World coming out on June 12. Universal Pictures released a clip of Pratt doing stunt videos. EW divulged a video of Pratt getting wet and some excerpts, which are mostly other people talking about Pratt. His Jurassic co-star, Bryce Dallas Howard, loves him so much: “Basically at this point I’m like, ‘Chris Pratt for president.’” Chris Evans adds, “You can’t fake what he has. And I think most people are clever enough to see through people who are putting that on. That’s just who he is.”

Speaking of his good buddy Evans, Pratt decided not to follow in the same shoes as Marvel’s Offenders. Other franchise movie stars must have watched the Ultron tour and felt relieved that they weren’t the ones stepping in it. The worst part was when Evans and Jeremy Renner called Black Widow a “slut” and “wh*re.” A few apologies followed. Evans tried to redeem himself, and Renner doubled down. Now Pratt wants to apologize in advance. He wants to have his bases covered just in case he calls the raptors “sluts.” This letter is both funny and douchey at the same time:

I want to make a heartfelt apology for whatever it is I end up accidentally saying during the forthcoming ?#?JurassicWorld? press tour. I hope you understand it was never my intention to offend anyone and I am truly sorry. I swear. I’m the nicest guy in the world. And I fully regret what I (accidentally will have) said in (the upcoming foreign and domestic) interview(s).

I am not in the business of making excuses. I am just dumb. Plain and simple. I try. I REALLY try! When I do (potentially) commit the offensive act for which I am now (pre) apologizing you must understand I (will likely have been) tired and exhausted when I (potentially) said that thing I (will have had) said that (will have had) crossed the line. Those rooms can get stuffy and the hardworking crews putting these junkets together need some entertainment! (Likely) that is who I was trying to crack up when I (will have had) made that tasteless and unprofessional comment. Trust me. I know you can’t say that anymore. In fact in my opinion it was never right to say the thing I definitely don’t want to but probably will have said. To those I (will have) offended please understand how truly sorry I already am. I am fully aware that the subject matter of my imminent forthcoming mistake, a blunder (possibly to be) dubbed “JurassicGate” is (most likely) in no way a laughing matter. To those I (will likely have had) offended rest assured I will do everything in my power to make sure this doesn’t happen (again).

[From Chris Pratt on Facebook]

I feel two different ways about this letter. First, this could be Pratt giving Evans a good-natured ribbing. That was my first thought when Pratt claimed to be half-drunk during a Reddit AMA last month. I also thought this was the case when Pratt gave GQ acting lessons while drunk on Fireball whiskey. Pratt has spoken about how he rarely drinks anymore because of the calories involved. He’s putting these “drunk” stunts on for effect, and it may have something to do with drunkface Evans’ behavior.

Then there’s the other side of this advance apology letter. Pratt’s also making fun of everyone who was offended by the Ultron tour. Perhaps he thinks everyone overreacted, and this is his way of asserting his opinion under the cloak of humor. Such an attitude discounts people’s perfectly valid reactions to the Marvel dudes’ behavior. So yeah. His letter is funny with a thinly-veiled layer of douche.

Photos courtesy of EW.com & WENN