The Daily Mirror’s big cover story today is “Coronation Chaos.” I’m excerpting parts of their coverage in other posts, because some of the Windsor chaos is about the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’s amazing refusal to RSVP to the Chubbly. But beyond the Sussex drama – the “red meat” of most tabloid coverage – there is absolutely a sense that every part of the coronation is in utter shambles. Like, King Charles hates his robes, Camilla is drunk, no one can firm up the timeline so the fly-over might not happen with precision, the procession is in chaos and on and on. I can’t believe that we’re only three weeks away and they haven’t figured out this stuff yet. Some highlights:

Stumbles at the mock-up Abbey: Sources revealed how the King and Queen Consort have been diligently practising their roles in a “mock-up Abbey”, specially built inside Buckingham Palace. During a fitting for his elaborate robes Charles is understood to have commented on how heavy they were, leading aides to privately express “real fears” that he could stumble on a walk up to the Chairs of State, where Charles and Camilla sit in the centre of Westminster Abbey after being crowned. In recent days master craftsmen have been drafted in to build a ramp up to the two Throne Chairs so the King does not struggle getting to his seat.

Tiara drama: One source remarked how indecision between the households had also led to rows over what tiaras the female royals would wear. They added: “Senior female royals were only informed of outfits this week prompting a rush to finalise fitting arrangements.”

They are woefully unprepared: An insider said: “It’s all very frantic, complete chaos to be frank. There is a plan, which is supposed to be the blueprint of how the day should operate, but things are changing daily which is causing massive headaches.” Other royal sources last night attempted to dampen down the anxiety, saying: “It’s fair to say it will go down to the wire, but there is huge confidence everything will go to plan on the day. This is naturally a huge event and the important point is everyone is pulling in the right direction. The King and Queen Consort want it to be perfect as does everyone involved which is why everything is being done to make it so.”

Hiccups: But a well placed insider with knowledge of the plans said there were concerns the coronation could add to the King’s woes, after the first seven months of his reign have been marred by protests and hiccups.

Timing it out: King Charles’s coronation service was originally planned to last 90 minutes – considerably shorter than the late Queen’s coronation in 1956, which lasted for three hours and 20 minutes. Plans seen by The Mirror now show the service beginning at 11am and finishing at 12.45pm, with the King’s procession setting off from the Abbey back to Buckingham Palace at 1pm. Insiders have also revealed how the King was understood to be in favour of a larger procession, taking him and the Queen through the streets of central London. But senior aides decided it would be too elaborate, while voicing concerns over the spiralling cost of policing the event in a cost of living crisis.

So stressful: Our source added: “Everything should be planned to the minute and such overruns would be a disaster. The schedule from the programme, the carriages, balcony appearance and the RAF flypast is planned to the minute, so it’s all incredibly stressful. If the service is too long, or too complicated, the television audience will turn off and that could be devastating. (We) want to create a sense of majesty and Charles and Camilla have seen months of protests by a growing republican movement.”

[From The Daily Mirror]

If I was in a managerial position for this sh-tshow, I would quit and join Republic’s “Not My King” protests. At least the protests seem well-organized. I mean, I’ll say one thing in defense of the Windsors – they haven’t had a coronation in seventy years, so there’s little institutional knowledge about how to organize one of these things. But honestly, they should have been working on all of this for months, rather than frantically trying to organize everything at the last minute. The big tell, in my opinion, was the fact that the new king was so disorganized that he sent out the invitations only one month beforehand. Another big tell is the fact that royal and aristocratic women still don’t know if they’re supposed to wear tiaras – like, the dress code has NOT been finalized. This is all on Camilla and Charles – they’re dithering and mismanaging their big day.

Photos courtesy of Cover Images, Avalon Red, Buckingham Palace.