It felt too good to be true, every update from Donald Trump’s hush money criminal trial was just bad news for Trump after bad news. It was amazing. Stormy Daniels took the stand and she did well. Michael Cohen was effective. The prosecution had their act together. Meanwhile, Trump was sleeping, farting and sh-tting himself in the courtroom for weeks on end. The jury wasn’t buying Trump’s fart-soaked nonsense. After two days of deliberations, the jury just came back with the verdict: guilty on all 34 counts of falsifying business records.

Donald J. Trump has been convicted of falsifying records to cover up a sex scandal that threatened his ascent to the White House in 2016, part of a scheme that prosecutors described as a fraud on the American people. He is the first American president to be declared a felon, a stain he will carry as he seeks to regain the presidency.

Mr. Trump was convicted on all 34 counts of falsifying business records by a jury of 12 New Yorkers, who deliberated over two days to reach a decision in a case rife with descriptions of secret deals, tabloid scandal and an Oval Office pact with echoes of Watergate. The jury found that Mr. Trump had faked records to conceal the purpose of money given to his onetime fixer, Michael D. Cohen. The false records disguised the payments as ordinary legal expenses when in truth, Mr. Trump was reimbursing Mr. Cohen for a $130,000 hush-money deal the fixer struck with the porn star Stormy Daniels to silence her account of a sexual liaison with Mr. Trump.

[From The NY Times]

Trump was released on his own recognizance pending sentencing. The prosecution wanted Felon Trump’s sentencing to be set for early or mid-July, and the judge scheduled it for July 11th… four days before the Republican convention. Trump “looked defeated” as he left the courtroom, per the NYT. He whined to the cameras, “This was a disgrace. This was a rigged trial by a conflicted judge who was corrupt.” LMAO!!! Today is such a great day.

Photos courtesy of Backgrid.