One of the saddest things about Donald Trump’s second impeachment trial is that Rudy Giuliani and the Angry Fart Brigade won’t be there, defending Trump to the Senate. Rudy and his treason-farts are “witnesses” to Trump’s crimes, which is just another way of saying that Rudy’s nuts are in the inciting-an-insurrection vice as well. So Trump had to hire some lawyers outside of his narrow and flatulent circle of wingnuts, traitors and insane asylum escapees. He went with old-guard Republican lawyers who would actually be qualified to defend a former president or litigate what actually happened. Except now those dudes and ladies have quit.

Former President Donald Trump’s five impeachment defense attorneys have left a little more than a week before his trial is set to begin, according to people familiar with the case, amid a disagreement over his legal strategy. It was a dramatic development in the second impeachment trial for Trump, who has struggled to find lawyers willing to take his case. And now, with legal briefs due next week and a trial set to begin only days later, Trump is clinging to his election fraud charade and suddenly finds himself without legal representation.

Butch Bowers and Deborah Barbier, who were expected to be two of the lead attorneys, are no longer on the team. A source familiar with the changes said it was a mutual decision for both to leave the legal team. As the lead attorney, Bowers assembled the team. Josh Howard, a North Carolina attorney who was recently added to the team, has also left, according to another source familiar with the changes. Johnny Gasser and Greg Harris, from South Carolina, are no longer involved with the case, either. No other attorneys have announced they are working on Trump’s impeachment defense.

A person familiar with the departures told CNN that Trump wanted the attorneys to argue there was mass election fraud and that the election was stolen from him rather than focus on the legality of convicting a president after he’s left office. Trump was not receptive to the discussions about how they should proceed in that regard. The attorneys had not yet been paid any advance fees and a letter of intent was never signed.

[From CNN]

“Trump wanted the attorneys to argue there was mass election fraud and that the election was stolen from him rather than focus on the legality of convicting a president after he’s left office.” Yeah, I figured it would be something like that. It’s strange to think – or maybe not – that when he was in the White House, Trump was really only surrounding himself with sycophantic and fart-soaked yes-men who would just repeat whatever unhinged lie he wanted. Now that he’s out of the White House, the real world is here and his actual, professional lawyers didn’t want to just argue his deranged conspiracy. Because they know that they would be disbarred. The impeachment trial is going to be a mess though. It’s my hope that in addition to the impeachment hearing, we start getting announcements about the House and Senate having major hearings on what went down, why there were so many f–k ups on January 6th, and who facilitated the terrorist attack on the inside.

Also, Trump hired two new lawyers after his old ones quit:

Trump will be represented by David Schoen and Bruce Castor in his impeachment trial.

David Schoen is best known for meeting with Jeffrey Epstein in prison to represent him before Epstein died.

Bruce Castor is best known as a PA DA who refused to prosecute Bill Cosby.

— MeidasTouch.com (@MeidasTouch) January 31, 2021

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid.