We’re still wait(y)ing for Duchess Kate to go into labor. And that’s on us, not Kate. I think Kate is feeling pretty peaceful right now. Her second pregnancy was a lot smoother than the first, she was happier and able to move around more, and from what we’re hearing, she’s been pretty active over the past week too. She spent last weekend in Bucklebury with her parents. She’s spent the last several days in London, running a few errands. William is with her now, having taken his paternity leave early (he left work on Tuesday). I assume that she’ll go into labor today, tomorrow or over the weekend. That’s just the vibe I’m getting, but hey, I’ve been wrong before. So while we wait(y), let’s go through some stories making the rounds (a lot of sites are doing these kinds of busy-work royal stories as we wait).

Her hair. There’s a rumor going around that Kate stopped by the Rossano Ferretti Hair Salon this week for a pre-baby blow-out and hair pampering. I’m assuming that just like with George’s birth, she has hair people on standby to do her hair at the hospital ahead of the big baby debut.

More than an heir & a spare? Kate’s dodgy uncle Gary Goldsmith tells Hello magazine that Will and Kate will probably go for three kids. He said: “I don’t think they’ll stop at two, so if it isn’t a girl this time round, people shouldn’t be too disappointed. I’m sure there’ll be a girl in the mix at some point….As long as the baby is healthy that is the important thing. Kate was a beautiful girl and if she were to have a girl, she’ll be equally as beautiful.”

The betting. The betting has gotten out of control. Most gamblers believe that Kate is totally having a girl and that “Diana” will be in the name somewhere. Other favorites these days? Alice, Elizabeth, Charlotte, Victoria and Alexandra. If it’s a boy, the top names are Arthur and James.

The bullish baby. The baby will be a Taurus. My dad was a Taurus and he was one of the most stubborn people in the world. They have good qualities too – they’re good in business, they’re loyal, they’re family-oriented.

John Oliver has no f—ks to give. John Oliver – who is an Englishman and an American citizen – was asked about the royal baby and he told Page Six: “I don’t care. I think people around the world care more about royal babies than British people do. It’s one of the only things we produce of international value anymore. It shows how far our empire has collapsed that people tend to look at us whenever members of the royal family are born, die or get married.”

Sigh… I’m kind of hoping Kate goes into labor today, has the baby quickly and we can manage to do all of this without some wild media extravaganza.

Photos courtesy of WENN, cover courtesy of Hello.