I sometimes feel like a cavewoman, or the last woman in the world who doesn’t give a crap about diets, food trends or bone broth. I try to eat most foods in moderation, but I don’t hate myself if I have a donut or a piece of chocolate. I barely drink, mostly because I got tired of hangovers. I work out, on average, four times a week and they are intense, sweaty affairs that leave me feeling exhausted and riding a wave of endorphins. Sometimes I eat at McDonalds. I love a good Caesar salad. All in all, I don’t really care – I just do whatever feels good to me and I try not to stress about food. I’ve never tried the Paleo Diet. I’ve never tried Atkins. I’ve never been on Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig. I’ve never gone vegetarian or vegan for longer than a few days.

What’s the point of all this? I guess I’m trying to give you my state of mind as I was reading this absolutely bizarre interview with Elle Macpherson. Elle is a former supermodel, of course, and I’ve always believed she’s sort of crazy. Her description of her diet is… um… I don’t know what descriptors to use? Ridiculous? Exhausting? Tedious? With a streak of “girl, you need to find something better to do with your time.”

Elle Macpherson has a surprising secret to looking this good at 51 – and it involves her urine, of all things. The entrepreneur and supermodel told the London Evening Standard that she keeps a pH balance urine tester kit in her handbag at all times to ensure her body is in an alkaline state.

“I believe that most ailments come from having an acidic body,” she says.

The co-founder and co-owner of the premium luxury wellness business WelleCo told PEOPLE she keeps her body at the preferred pH level – said to reduce stress and protect bone health – by taking her brand’s Super Elixir Alkalising Greens supplement daily.

“I don’t worry about wrinkles,” she says. “I tackle internal ageing by nourishing my cells from the inside and the welcome by-product is looking and feeling good.”

Macpherson also credits her fit physique to exercise, drinking lots of water and a consistent healthy diet free of red meat, wheat and dairy.

“I move my body for at least 45 minutes every day,” she says of her routine, which includes a mix of hiking, water skiing, swimming and running on the beach. “And drink lots of water – 3 liters a day.”

[From People]

Drinking lots of water is great. Having 45-minute workouts every day is great. Not eating red meat is okay – lots of people don’t eat red meat. Dairy? Sure. Some people cut out dairy too. Wheat? I couldn’t do that, but sure. But for the love of God… carrying a pH balance urine tester kit with her at all times? Testing her urine when she’s, like, out to dinner? I’m sure there’s some science out there, somewhere, to back up her diet. And I mean, more power to her, if that’s how she wants to spend her time, bless her heart. But now everyone knows that whenever Elle goes to the bathroom, she’s weeing on pH tester kit.

Oh, and apparently Marmite is fine on her diet. As is dark chocolate. Ugh, I hate both. One last thing: she’s totally lying about her wrinkles, right? Elle is Bo to the ‘Toxed.

Photos courtesy of WENN.