I had the honor of seeing Kristin Beck, a retired Navy SEAL and transgender activist, speak at Virginia Military Institute last night. Kristin, a VMI graduate and international speaker, made headlines in 2013 when she became the first Navy SEAL to come out as transgender. Kristin’s background as a SEAL is impressive and impeccable. She made 13 deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan as part of a special counter-terrorism squad called SEAL Team Six. She is the recipient of a purple heart, bronze star, and multiple other awards and decorations. She was working at the Pentagon when she transitioned, which led to her losing her job. She now travels and does speaking engagements, and she does it spread the word and save lives, not for personal gain. (She didn’t say this so directly, nor did she list her accomplishments. She was very down to earth and focused on her message of acceptance.)

After coming out and publishing her autobiography, Kristin was interviewed by Anderson Cooper. Her story was made into a CNN documentary called Lady Valor. (It’s available on Netflix on demand and I highly recommend it.) She’s a frequent guest on CNN, and told the crowd at VMI that she’s turned down two reality shows and that she regularly says no to “brain candy” interviews. (I guess she’s talking about celebrity outlets. *raises hand*)

Kristin’s message was one of understanding, tolerance and taking time to assess a situation and see a person’s humanity before acting. One of her stories from combat involved deciding in just a few quick seconds not to shoot an armed enemy. She had a gut feeling that she should not shoot or detain a man with a gun whom she encountered during a rooftop sweep. A few days later, the same man ran up to her in a bazaar and she reflexively reached for her gun. Luckily, she had an interpreter with her who told her that the man was thanking her for saving his life. He then hugged her. It turned out that the armed man whose life she had spared was just a carpet salesman. He went on to give her valuable information about other targets.

As a military veteran and a patriot, Kristin told us that fighting for equality and freedom meant fighting for everyone, not some groups at the exclusion of others. She also likened being a transgender woman to having a certain eye color, it’s just who she is.

One of the VMI cadets (students) asked Kristin what she would say about Bruce Jenner that she didn’t say in a recent segment on CNN. She said that he’s delaying his announcement for financial gain, basically.

Even back in the 70s Bruce was very commercial. The thing I would say to Bruce is ‘stop recording’. He’s come out a little bit and he’s given a little information, he’s getting paid, holding back information… there are 3 kids killing themselves every day. Bruce can be a hero. I see someone who has the opportunity to have a thousand times bigger platform than I have. I wish he would have come out and try to save people’s lives instead of just making cash with it. Come out and be a hero.

Later, when I sheepishly admitted that I’m a gossip columnist and asked if I could publish her comments on Jenner, Kristin joked that I shouldn’t have been let in and clarified.

He has a chance to save hundreds of thousands of lives, he has a chance instead of delaying it. Other than that he’s my hero. There are a lot of kids he could save.

I know who the hero is. I met her last night.

I want to add some more wisdom from Kristin. She said that if a friend is coming out to you, don’t tell them that you already knew, let them tell you on their own terms. You can start a conversation with them about a related topic and be open to listening.

If you think your child is “confused” about their sexuality or gender, they’re not the one that’s confused, “you’re confused. Your kid knows exactly what’s going on.”

She left us with a quote from the Civil Rights Movement about standing up to bullying and discrimination. “If not us, then who? If not now, then when?”

Some photos are screenshots from Kristin’s appearance on MSNBC’s Out There, where she confirmed that she’s running for Congress in Maryland. Some are my personal photos from the event, excuse the poor quality, and some are from Kristin’s Facebook.