One of my favorite parts of Omid Scobie’s Endgame was all of the stuff about how much King Charles and Prince William hate each other. They’re constantly briefing against each other and trying to one-up each other, and each man thinks the other is an idiot. If anything, the Sussex issue is a distraction for the main show of the massive dysfunction between the king and his heir. It’s also clear that William has zero self-awareness for his own, um, limitations? He’s not clever, kind, compassionate, well-educated, well-read, erudite or passionate. He’s cruel, petty, boring, short-sighted and ruthless. Charles has those same qualities only he dithers and he’s well-read (and at least he has interesting hobbies, say what you will). Anyway, William cannot wait to be king. He cannot wait for his father to die. William is already planning for his reign of terror:

Prince William has drastic plans for modernising the monarchy once he takes over from his father, King Charles, an extremely well-placed source has revealed. The heir to the throne is already working on a five-point plan that will mean an even slimmer monarchy with fewer royal engagements and patronages, less formality and frugality in mind, and a wave goodbye to Queen Elizabeth II’s beloved Commonwealth.

“Focusing on the United Kingdom is very much a priority for William moving forward and there are already plans being worked on to that effect,” said the source. “There is a reluctance there from both William and Kate to join the tour of the Commonwealth because they feel it’s an outdated institution and not something they want to head.”

Prince William ended a disastrous tour of the Caribbean last year by suggesting he does not mind if he is not head of the Commonwealth – and that he believes it may one day be led by someone other than a member of the Royal Family.

The source added that the royal families of the Netherlands and Sweden have proved to the Prince and Princess of Wales that a homegrown focus on a much smaller scale can be a success.

“Once William and Kate become King and Queen, everything will look very different,” said the source. “The wider family will be reduced to almost nothing, with the Wales family becoming the main focus.”

Earlier this week, the Express revealed that Prince William has had more than enough of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle and is already looking ahead at a monarchy that does not include them. “William is already planning for when he becomes king, and he doesn’t see a future for the Sussexes in the Royal Family,” said the source. “The focus will be very much on the Wales family and a reduced number of royal patronages and engagements will reflect that. Once the King goes, it will be out with the old and in with the new rather swiftly.”

When William does eventually become king, the source reveals that he will noy be crowned amid pomp and ceremony like his father was earlier this year. Instead, he will begin his reign with frugality in mind. “Processions, rituals and official ceremonies will be scrapped in favour of more modern displays for state occasions. Frugality will most certainly be in mind when it comes to things like state banquets, coronations and any public display of wealth.”

[From The Daily Express]

“There is a reluctance there from both William and Kate to join the tour of the Commonwealth because they feel it’s an outdated institution and not something they want to head.” Okay! Don’t threaten the Commonwealth with a good time – Australia, Canada, New Zealand and the African and Caribbean Commonwealth countries should take note and get out while the getting is good. What’s funny about the “focus on the United Kingdom” is that Scotland wants to be excluded from this narrative, and Wales is pretty surly too. It’s also funny to hear that William wants the whole focus to be on his family, meanwhile Kate will still be sitting in her separation cottage and working one day a week when her kids are all over 18 years old. While I agree that the pomp and pageantry of the monarchy is gross, wasteful and ridiculous, that’s the stuff that people actually like – that’s why they tune in, that’s why they pay attention, to see tiaras and gold carriages and magic orbs. William wants to be a one-island despot in an ill-fitting business suit, demanding that everyone pay attention to him.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images, Instar.