Hilaria Baldwin covers the new issue of Romper and the interview is just as bonkers as you would think. Keep in mind, since Hilaria’s lies about being “from Spain” were outed in late 2020, she’s never explained exactly why she lied or what this whole thing was really about. Romper doesn’t press Hilaria on the subject, they merely note (hilariously) that she grew up in Boston and merely “visited” Spain a lot. Which, again, does not make her Spanish or from Spain, dios mio. Even beyond that, this piece with Hilaria is massively creepy. Some highlights:

Her stepdaughter Ireland had a baby: “I love being a grandmother. My kids get a kick out of it. They feel like they’re so grown up; they’re like, ‘Well, I can do this because I’m an uncle now.’ I send things to Ireland all the time. My favorite swaddle or my favorite bathtub or whatever. The towels, all these things.” As the mother of seven, I ask, is she the one everyone else goes to for mom advice? “My friend and his wife had a baby a year ago, and he’s always coming to me with questions. He loves golf, and he’s like, ‘I think of you as the Tiger Woods of babies.’”

Her reproductive choices: “People like to have a lot of opinions about women’s reproductive choices. Either we have too many kids, or we have too few. We don’t do it exactly as we should. We don’t put the hat on the baby. And then people say, ‘Why doesn’t your baby have a hat?’ And I say, ‘Would you like to come and put the hat on the baby? She’ll take it off and throw it at you.’”

Her background, per Romper: She grew up in Boston, visiting Spain regularly — her parents, a former doctor and lawyer, now live there, as does her brother. She’s bilingual. She graduated from New York University, became a yoga instructor, and co-founded Yoga Vida.

People on the street love her? “Sure, I’ve had times where I feel lonely or isolated, and then I open my eyes and my ears and my mind, and I realize how many amazing people are out there. We walk down the street and people say to us, ‘We’re praying for you. We’re thinking about you.’ They give us hugs. Most of the people who are mean to us are people like the paparazzi, who are making money off tormenting us.”

Whether she loves being pregnant: “Not really,” she says with a shrug. “But I love giving birth. This last time around, I pushed her out in a minute! Giving birth is like going down a water slide that’s really scary. And then you get to the bottom, and you’re like, ‘I want to do this again.’”

Why does she keep getting pregnant? Firstly, there’s the matter-of-fact answer: She’s not on birth control. “I feel awful when I’m on birth control; it makes me depressed,” she says. And Alec’s not interested in other, er, methods. “Every single time I have a baby, my OB writes down the vasectomy doctor on a Post-it, and I bring it home to Alec. He hasn’t done it yet.”

She adores the baby phase: She refers to having babies as “creating love” — and from what I can tell, gets deep joy from taking care of others. This tendency also extends to her husband. “Am I his mommy? Sometimes I’m his mommy. Sometimes. At the beginning of our relationship, everyone was like, ‘She must have daddy issues because she’s married to somebody older.’ But it’s actually the opposite.”

The Reddit community tracking Hilaria Baldwin. They’ve come up with conspiracy theories related to her pregnancies and births, they focus on her background and accent, and they say she’s “harming” her children by showing them on Instagram. In a twist, Hilaria knows many of her Reddit haters’ real identities; she hired a private investigator. She hasn’t done anything with that info and doesn’t plan to. But it makes her feel better to know, and when she describes them to me, they’re exactly who you’d think: lonely, lost people.

[From Romper]

She had seven kids because birth control makes her depressed???? You’d rather bring seven lives into the world just to avoid taking the pill? Jesus. And the fact that she hired a private investigator to identify Reddit posters? Holy sh-t. People tend to turn into armchair diagnosticians when they encounter Hilaria’s whole deal, and I’m no different – to me, the woman comes across as profoundly disturbed and pathologically narcissistic. I also find it upsetting to see outlets go out of their way to portray all of this as normal or even inspirational.

Cover & IG courtesy of Romper.