I’ve seen coverage of Jana Kramer on Celebitchy for years and read the stories, even though I had no idea who Jana was. She is a country singer but has essentially made a second career off of her relationship drama. Basically every detail about Jana’s relationships is like a bright, flashing, neon sign that says “I have deep attachment wounds!” (I do, too, to be clear. Game recognizes game.) She had a podcast with her ex where they talked about all his rampant infidelity. He was a serial cheater and she continuously made excuses for him and took him back. It was a codependent mess. They finally broke up and she’s had a couple of relationships since then, including one with a guy who said she guilt tripped him for wanting to leave the house. Now she’s engaged to a guy after six months of dating and they already have a baby on the way. Flashing neon sign!!

This Allan guy sounds very nice: The country singer and Whine Down podcast host, 39, is pregnant and expecting her first child with fiancé Allan Russell, she confirms exclusively to PEOPLE.

“I didn’t think it would ever happen again, if I’m being honest. I’ve been through a lot, so this has just been a really beautiful thing,” says Kramer, whose new book The Next Chapter is out Oct. 24. “I’m letting it all sink in. It’s everything I’ve wanted and more. Allan was so sweet. He wrote me this little sticky note saying, ‘You deserve the happy ending.’”

She got pregnant pretty fast after deciding to try: “I’ve had miscarriages, so I didn’t even know if it was possible. I’m like, yes, it’d be beautiful for us to create something because I love this man. It would be the silver lining with everything that happened, but I’d always get kind of down about it because I didn’t know if I was capable of carrying a pregnancy again,” she says. “I was like, well, I’m going to be 40 in December, so I was like, we have one month to try. Literally one month.”

Then, during a trip to L.A. in March to attend the iHeartRadio Music Awards together, “I had this metallic taste in my mouth,” recalls Kramer. “That’s what I felt with both my other kids’ [pregnancies]. So I went to the store and got my Clearblue test. It said pregnant, and we just started crying.”

Her fiance splits his time between Nashville and the UK: Russell — who’s from the U.K. — has been flying back and forth from England to Nashville, and the couple try not to spend more than two weeks apart. “He’s splitting his time because he has a 15-year-old son in England. We make it work,” she says. “He is such a fun [dad], just out there on the trampoline with the kids. He always playing with [Jolie and Jace] and it’s really beautiful to see.”

[From People]

I’m happy for Jana, and I hope the rest of her pregnancy goes well. In the article she mentioned having some bleeding which was really scary but everything’s okay. That happened to someone close to me–she had a full period one month after the positive test and thought she had miscarried, but it was fine. I sometimes think pregnancy still isn’t that well understood. There are so many mysterious things that go on.

But to get back to my armchair psychology, I couldn’t help but notice that her fiance Allan splits his time between the US and the UK because his son is based over there. This isn’t a knock on him or anything, it just shows to me that Jana is subconsciously still going after someone who isn’t fully available, at least not right now. In fairness, being long distance is a much more benign version of “not fully available” than Mike Caussin’s compulsive philandering. I still see a lot of myself in this stuff, though. It’s all textbook, garden-variety anxious attachment behavior. I’m always drawn to men who are unavailable emotionally or who live far away or who are otherwise unsuitable (think, like, “smoke jumper who lives off-grid in the middle of the woods in an old school bus” type of unsuitable. Yes, I am in therapy). I’ve come to realize that the feeling I associate with “attraction” is just the sick thrill of knowing they’ll let me down eventually, like the high you get from gambling. It would not surprise me if Jana experienced the same kind of emotions when she meets someone who activates her attachment issues. Maybe she’s been in therapy and is working through some of this stuff. But how’s she going to feel when the baby comes and Allan still has to leave for weeks at a time to be a present dad for his son? I think that situation would be hard on anyone, by the way, not just Jana. To have a new baby in the house, and your partner traveling a lot, plus two small kids already? I hope Jana has people nearby to support her.