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Periwinkle purses and ponytails

A photo posted by Khloé (@khloekardashian) on Mar 18, 2015 at 2:15pm PDT

You know what freaks me out a little bit about Khloe Kardashian these days? It’s so obvious that she got butt implants – behold, the Pinocchio Butt! – but she mostly gets pap’d these days going in and out of the gym. Why change your body so dramatically with butt implants only to basically LIVE at the gym, like she’s trying to lose weight? You know what would make you look thinner, Khloe? Taking out those massive implants.

But the butt implants are just one of several tweaks Khloe has made over the past few years. She’s also gotten her lips augmented, and I kind of think she also got a somewhat modest boob job. “Modest” meaning she’s didn’t get freakshow breast implants to match her freakshow booty. And what is it all for? I have a theory that she’s trying to “match” her sisters to a certain extent. She’s trying to blend with them in some ways. Why is that? Because as the years go by, it becomes more and more obvious to many people that Khloe probably isn’t a real “Kardashian.” Meaning, she is not Robert Kardashian’s genetic daughter.

Gawker’s Blackbag has been doing “Illuminati Month” for March and it’s been amazing. They’ve been focusing on political, technological, wingnut and celebrity conspiracy theories. On Wednesday, they did a piece of Khloe’s paternity and whether OJ Simpson is her real father – go here to read. The evidence is there, for sure, and I think one could even make the argument that Kris Jenner was sleeping with several dudes at the time of Khloe’s conception, and that OJ might have even been one of them. But I tend to think Khloe probably isn’t OJ’s daughter. I’ve always believed that Alex Roldan, Kris’s hairdresser, is Khloe’s biological father.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and Instagram.
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