Here are some assorted photos of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, some from Paris and some from this weekend in LA. Apparently, the new season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians premiered last night and this morning, I’m looking at a million headlines about Kim’s fertility. None of this is really new information, by the way. Kim has been telling everyone that she and Kanye have been trying to get pregnant again for months. Kim has also said that if she and Kanye can’t conceive naturally, she would be open to IVF or surrogacy.

Many of the konspiracists believe “surrogacy” is Kim’s endgame, because she loathed being pregnant with North and she doesn’t want to gain weight again. Perhaps. But maybe 20 million quotes about Kim and Kanye’s sex life will make you feel differently about that conspiracy? Because that’s what happened during last night’s episode of KUWTK. Us Weekly compiled a list!

*When sister Kendall Jenner asks why she is lying in bed instead of sitting with everyone else in the room: “The doctor said when I have sex I have to lay down for, like, 10 to 20 minutes, so, I just had sex before you guys got here. He said it takes 10 minutes for a sperm to swim up there. I’m going to wait like 5 more minutes just for this to marinate inside of me.”

*Consulting with her makeup artist after a bathroom quickie with West during a photo shoot: “I’m trying to stall for a few. We’ll tell them we’re just putting body makeup on.”

*When sister Khloe Kardashian asks about the bathroom quickie: “I was like, I’m ovulating today! Ao I made him come to my photo shoot.”

*Explaining why she and West are having so much sex: “There’s only a 20 percent chance of getting pregnant every month, I know that I’m ovulating right now, so you gotta get it in when you can get it in!”

*Lamenting not getting pregnant: “Maybe I’m trying too hard.”

*At the fertility doctor: “I am so on a mission to get pregnant. I remember growing up being so close with my sisters, so I want siblings for North. Because it’s been so tough I’m seeing a fertility doctor to see, like, exactly when I’m ovulating and really increase my odds of getting pregnant naturally.”

*To the fertility doctor: “If we have, like, a lot of sex and one of the sperm gets to that, don’t they say it could be a girl unless you do it right when you’re ovulating?”

*Also to the fertility doctor, and not actually about sex with West but too good to not include: “I had a psychic and a hairdresser that is psychic tell me that it’s going to be a boy.”

*About her obsession: “I am about to ovulate so I buy every kind of ovulation stick imaginable just to see exactly when I’m going to be ovulating and hope to really increase my odds.”

*On her determination: “It’s so frustrating. Kourtney just sneezes and gets pregnant. Like, not everyone is like that. It’s going to take work, and I have to work hard at it.”

*Catching up with Khloe: “I’ve been having sex 500 times a day.”

*At a Malibu lunch with Bruce Jenner and her sisters: “I just got my period today so I’m not pregnant this month and I’m really upset because I really tried really hard.”

*Lamenting not getting pregnant (again): “It’s, like, so frustrating. I’m exhausted and I think I’m just making this all about the wrong things. Like, I’m forcing it, so we just need relax. We just need to not stress it, not plan so much, and just go with the flow.”

[From Us Weekly]

Once you’ve naturally conceived and carried to term, isn’t it “easier” to get pregnant the second time? Or is it different for every woman? Anyway, I’ve already spent too much time thinking about Kim’s fertility, so let me just say: I GIVE UP. I believe her. I think she really is trying to get pregnant naturally and it’s driving her crazy that she can’t (so far). And yes, she needs to stop obsessing. I’m pretty sure that she got pregnant with North “accidentally” so maybe she and Yeezy just need to go on a vacation, with no cameras, and just relax and see where it goes. And then if that still doesn’t work, eh. Try IVF, I guess.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.