I used to not care that much about Lily Collins, but she’s grown on me a lot because of Emily In Paris, one of my favorite “dumb shows.” Lily is adorable in it, and I like that she’s moved into producing. She’s a nepo baby, obviously, and she married another nepo baby – Charlie McDowell, son of Malcolm McDowell. Well, now Charlie and Lily have a nepo baby of their own! They just welcomed daughter Tove Jane McDowell via surrogacy. From Lily’s IG:

Welcome to the center of our world Tove Jane McDowell. Words will never express our endless gratitude for our incredible surrogate and everyone who helped us along the way. We love you to the moon and back again…

[From Lily’s IG]

I thought it was a nice story, and I actually wondered if they’re saying “surrogacy” when they really mean that they used a gestational carrier. They’re different things at a technical level – a gestational carrier carries an embryo made from (in this case) Lily’s egg, fertilized by Charlie. Surrogacy means that Lily and Charlie might not use their own biological material. They didn’t explain it and it’s their business – they don’t have to speak about why they’re starting a family in this way, and we don’t know if there were fertility issues or what have you. It’s none of our business. Apparently, people were getting into Lily’s Instagram comments and saying sh-t about surrogacy, and so Charlie posted this as a comment:

Thank you for all the kind messages and love. We are overjoyed and very grateful.

In regards to the unkind messages about surrogacy and our path to having a baby— it’s ok to not be an expert on surrogacy. It’s ok to not know why someone might need a surrogate to have a child. It’s ok to not know the motivations of a surrogate regardless of what you assume. And it’s ok to spend less time spewing hateful words into the world, especially in regards to a beautiful baby girl who has brought a lot of love into people’s lives. That’s all for now because she just pooped and I need to change her diaper.

[From Lily’s IG]

“It’s ok to not know why someone might need a surrogate to have a child. It’s ok to not know the motivations of a surrogate regardless of what you assume.” Exactly – I think there are absolutely conversations to be had about surrogacy and exploitation, but in this particular situation, it’s really rude to demand to know “why” Charlie and Lily used a surrogate.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Lily’s IG.