I’ve been ignoring Lindsay Lohan for the better part of a month, for good reason: she’s still an utter cracktastrophe and covering her stupid drama has actually gotten sort of boring. I’ll get to the “still a cracktastrophe” part in just a moment, but first the real news. Back in February, Lindsay tried to crack-lie her way out of her community service hours at the very last minute, when she somehow completed two weeks of community service in three days. The City Attorney laughed her out of court and the judge ordered her to do an additional 125 hours by May 28th. Lindsay’s lawyer Shawn Holley went into court in LA yesterday for a progress report. This is what happened:

Lindsay Lohan has a new set of excuses to justify her anemic community service performance — she’s completed less than 10 of the 125 required hours. Lindsay’s lawyer, Shawn Holley, was in court Thursday AM, along with prosecutor Melanie Skehar, laying out Lindsay’s progress at the London-based community service facility.

Pretty shocking, and predictable … Lindsay has completed 9 hours and 45 minutes. It’s especially maddening because more than 2 months ago the judge threw out a chunk of sketchy hours … including the credit she got for appearing onstage for her play.

Lindsay’s excuse du jour … the community services center has changed locations and now it takes her an hour-and-a-half to get there. She has to hire a car service for the 3 hour round trip. Holley said she’d like Lindsay to do the remaining community service in Brooklyn, so it sounds like LiLo may be moving stateside again.

The prosecutor did not ask for an arrest warrant, but the judge said, “If Lindsay does not get this done by May 28th there will be consequences.”

[From TMZ]

“Consequences” like a slap on the wrist. Ugh. And I love how everyone pretends like “the community center moved far away!” is a reasonable excuse. Chica, you’re in London!! Surely there’s somewhere else you could do some charity work?

As for the cracktastrophe… Star Magazine has a lengthy story about how Lindsay is still partying like crazy and she’s still a melodramatic crack monster, etc, etc. Lindsay was in Milan last week with a “swarthy” mysterious stranger (“john”) and the paparazzi got photos of Lindsay sobbing and wailing on a street corner after the stranger dared to say “no” to her. The Milan trip came before and after several instances where Lindsay was a “hot mess” in various London hot spots. On April 15th, outside of Cirque le Soir, “Lindsay was a hot mess. Her belly was falling out of her jeans. People were embarrassed for her.” Another source tells Star, “Lindsay has been partying nonstop in London… she stays up late drinking, eats bad food because she’s hung over, then does it all over again the next day.”

Photos courtesy WENN, Fame/Flynet.