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The New York Times just called it a short time ago – Donald Trump has officially won the presidency again. I still will never refer to him that way though, I managed to get through four years of never, ever referring to him that way and I’ll avoid it again.

Since nothing matters, I thought I would provide one moment of levity today: imagine how upset Melania Trump is. Imagine how bummed out she is. She doesn’t want to go back to the White House. She wanted her husband to go to prison. She wanted to be the Widow Trump. She wanted to stay at Mar-a-Lago and get spa treatments. She maybe did a half-dozen campaign events this entire year. She kept dropping weird grifts like “Melania NFTs” and her tragic memoir.

There were lots of videos of Melania with her husband yesterday when they went to vote in Palm Beach. Because Melania kept her sunglasses on, there was a renewal of the Fauxlania conspiracy, which is that Melania has body-doubles who sometimes appear at events. I’m 100% a Fauxlania Truther, but I think that was the real Melania yesterday.

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Photos courtesy of Getty.