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Earlier this month, Cardi B announced that she had split from Offset, her undercover husband. Everyone knew that Cardi and Offset were together, but they only revealed that they’d quietly gotten married months after the fact. I am convinced that the divorce will probably be one of the biggest “messy” stories of 2019, but I was impressed with Cardi’s maturity in her split announcement. She didn’t attack Offset or denigrate him in any way. She really sounded like her priority was taking care of herself and their daughter Kulture, and that she still loved Offset and hoped they could coparent.

Unfortunately, a lot of people around Cardi and a lot of her fans were like “Cardi and Offset should get back together” or “this is just some stunt, they’re obviously still together.” No and no. Cardi knows her own mind. Respect that. Her fans should respect that she’s done with Offset, and Offset should respect that she’s done with him. Offset hasn’t respected that. Offset has been making a lot of noise about how he’s going to “win her back” and convince her to be together again, like he wasn’t cheating on her throughout their marriage or whatever.

Over the weekend, Cardi was in the middle of her performance at Rolling Loud when Offset “crashed” the stage. Offset had roses and a microphone, and he seemed to beg her for forgiveness, and for her to take him back. No one heard what Cardi said, but she didn’t throw her arms around him and announce their reunion, so I think we can assume that she was not into this sh-t. Here’s the video:

.@OffsetYRN offers @iamcardib an apology. [via @rapradar] pic.twitter.com/fOenMgaGdo

— Complex (@Complex) December 16, 2018

To all the young women and young men out there who think this is romantic, please stop. Granted, I’m old-school in that I almost always think that a big, PUBLIC gesture is going to be tacky and gross. But this specific move – to emotionally manipulate his estranged wife WHILE SHE’S WORKING, in public – is actually making me feel sick to my stomach. Cardi let the world know she was done with Offset, and the people around her don’t have her back at all. They were working with Offset so that he could do this emotionally manipulative stunt. To all the young people out there: when a man or a woman says NO, they mean it. This behavior is a red flag.

Hours later, Cardi behaved like so many women behave in these situations – she tried to smooth things over and minimize her ex’s creepy, toxic, manipulative behavior. I understand that she doesn’t want people to really go in on Offset. But for a lot of people, this is a teachable moment about respect, consent, relationship red flags and emotional manipulation.

.@iamcardib responds: pic.twitter.com/3uTdw57DQ5

— Complex (@Complex) December 16, 2018

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Photos courtesy of Backgrid and Getty.