It’s been a big year for Phoebe Bridgers. She played Coachella with her band boygenius, and they also released their debut album. In the middle of all that, she opened for Taylor Swift on her tour, playing twelve shows. Phoebe and her bandmates, Julien Baker and Lucy Dacus, were interviewed by the Wall Street Journal to promote their album, called the record. In that profile, Phoebe is asked about the curiosity her fans have about her dating life. After she was with actor Paul Mescal for a couple years, she was suddenly spotted out and about with Bo Burnham, about six months ago. But she and Bo have never said if they’re dating or not. Fans really want her and Bo to confirm their alleged relationship, and Phoebe’s had enough of it. Here’s what she had to say about the inappropriate fan attention, opening for her friend Taylor, and why she’s so transparent in her songs:

On opening for Taylor Swift on the Eras tour: “The craziest thing I could imagine is 60,000 people. It’s setting records as the biggest shows ever. It’s so cool to be a part of it,” Phoebe shared.

Fans of Phoebe and boygenius are overstepping boundaries: Phoebe told the publication that she “draws a line between fans who share a passing compliment while the band eats lunch and fans who run up to their car, trapping them inside.”

“There’s a higher chance that you’ll meet a fan that you hate than a fan that you love,” she shared. “You’re way more likely to be confronted with someone who just violated your privacy.”

She wishes people would stop speculating on her love life: Her personal lyrics and candid social media presence have led some listeners to believe they deserve an all-access pass to her offstage life. “I’ve had people take more than I’m giving, and I’m giving a lot. I’m pretty f—ing transparent, because I would value that in someone whose music I liked when I was a kid. Seeing any representation of any feeling and anything true was awesome to me. To be punished for that is so dark,” she said.

[From WSJ via Just Jared]

The first song that put Phoebe on the map–as far as I’m aware–is called Motion Sickness. The first time I heard it, the raw honesty of it completely floored me. In it, she describes a psychologically abusive dynamic between a young woman and an older man. I can’t find evidence that Phoebe confirmed this directly, but the song is believed to be about her relationship with Ryan Adams. She perfectly captures the conflicting emotions that come with surviving an abusive dynamic–love morphing into resentment, regret, relief, anger, and everything in between. Phoebe’s honesty in her lyrics is so unflinching that sometimes it’s hard for me to listen to.

But just because someone is open and vulnerable as a songwriter, that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have any privacy. What Phoebe describes when she talks about negative interactions with fans is the result of our parasocial era. Some people think they actually know a celebrity and overstep boundaries, while fans who are respectful keep their distance. As for what she’s dancing around when she says fans are “taking more” than she’s giving: Neither Bo Burnham nor Phoebe has acknowledged their relationship. They haven’t even done the Taylor Swiftian “We’re so in love and so private” exclusive to a friendly press outlet. They’re choosing to handle their relationship this way. Besides, Keith Urban accidentally captured them kissing in a TikTok at one of Taylor’s recent shows, and I think that should be confirmation enough. Somehow it makes perfect sense that it was Keith Urban, of all people. Keith and his highlights, letting the cat out of the bag without even knowing.

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