On the last day of the Paris Olympics, Prince William and Kate posted a video where they congratulated the British Olympians for all they did. William and Kate couldn’t be bothered to actually congratulate specific athletes or do anything but make a last-minute video. The biggest piece of news was William had grown a scraggly, sad-sack vacation beard after one month of summer holidaying. Dutiful royal reporters quickly declared that William’s bender beard turned him into a “hot dad” and William’s most loyal sycophants discussed how William’s beard was all about reopening the “beard war” with Prince Harry, because Harry has a beard and William wants to be Harry and have everything that Harry has.

When we briefly saw William drive to church at Balmoral a few weeks after that, William had shaved the sad beard. But look, the beard is back! If we can even call this pathetic stubble a beard. William stepped out on Thursday in London to visit the Homelessness: Reframed exhibit at the Saatchi Gallery. William’s dumbf–k Homewards campaign is somehow involved in this exhibit, and Kensington Palace has been hyping this peggy appearance for weeks. Tom Sykes at the Daily Beast embarrassed himself with this headline: “Hot Prince William Is Back With His Official New Stubble.” *hork*

William already has too many nicknames around here – Baldy, Peg, Peggington, Huevo, The Other Brother. Should we give him a new name in honor of this terrible attempt at cosplaying Prince Harry? How about Huevo Peludo (Hairy Egg)? Temu Jason Statham came to mind, although I think William would consider that a win. Statham is smart enough to shave off everything up top, while Huevo Peludo clings to those wispy little hairs and tries to comb them over. The one “nice” thing I’ll give him is that the stubble makes his eyes pop. But other than that, there is so much ugliness, inside and out.

Photos courtesy of Cover Images.