I’m not ready to talk about or think about Christmas right now. I don’t get into the Christmas spirit until after Halloween. But the Windsors are different, and their Christmas plans began months ago. King Charles had a big Christmas celebration last year, his second as king, inviting some of his extended family and Camilla’s family to Sandringham and doing a big show of walking to church on Christmas day. But this year has been hard on Charles, given his cancer diagnosis and his treatment. So it’s time for Prince William and Kate to start throwing their weight around and making Christmas all about them! So says Tom Sykes at the Daily Beast, who wrote a very long-winded piece about how Will and Kate might do a social media video about their very normal, middle-class Christmas at Anmer Hall. Some highlights:

A very Middleton Christmas: Royal Christmas customs beloved of generations of sovereigns are facing the chop due to King Charles’ health crisis. Prince William, and his wife, Kate Middleton, will put a heavy stamp on the royal Christmas this year, the Daily Beast has been told. William and Kate are expected to host a “rival Christmas party” at their home on the Sandringham estate, Anmer Hall, with Kate’s family including her parents, Mike and Carole, in attendance. It will be notable for its studied informality.

A quieter Sandringham Christmas: A friend of Andrew’s told The Daily Beast: “It will be a quieter Christmas than last year, but the question is, how quiet? Usually everyone would know what bits they are invited to by now. This year, it’s just wait and see.” Some things never change, however, and sources say the bloodthirsty royal tradition of a pheasant and partridge shooting party on Boxing Day (the day after Christmas) will go ahead as usual, although Charles is expected to make at best a fleeting appearance, with the honor of leading the shoot falling to William instead. The traditional, full-family Christmas walk to church is planned to proceed as normal.

Christmas is about to get less religious: One source said this means there will be much more messaging this year from William and Kate’s camp of a “middle class flavor,” emphasizing eating chocolate, movie marathons, and generally sliding off the couch in a tryptophan haze like everyone else. The source, a former courtier who worked with William and Kate, said they had been told the couple (neither of whom are especially religious) would take to social media over the holidays, sharing moments of their family Christmas. “A little social media of the family eating chocolate and watching TV would be a very effective way of showing how normal Christmas is at Anmer Hall compared to what we hear about at Sandringham,” the source said.

Abandoning the Germanic traditions: Another out-of-touch habit that it is said to be high on Kate’s list of things to change is the royal custom of handing out presents on Christmas Eve, instead of giving gifts on Christmas Day as is usual in England. The Germanic tradition was established by Queen Victoria and Prince Albert in deference to his Teutonic roots. Queen Elizabeth, a great admirer of Victoria, approved of the unusual gift-giving schedule, sources have previously told The Daily Beast, as she disliked extravagance and overt expressions of consumerism. She preferred Christmas Day to have a sacred note. William and Kate have long been considered likely to scrap the custom of gift-giving on Christmas Eve, which they are acutely aware paints them as “weird” to the general public, when they ascend to the throne. The tradition is expected to survive in some form this year, but it will be depleted.

Presents are for Christmas morning: A friend of William and Kate’s told The Daily Beast: “Kate has always found the presents on Christmas Eve thing weird. It is definitely going to be got rid of when they are officially running things. I imagine it will continue this year at Sandringham in some shape or form but everything is going to be much more relaxed and have a middle-class flavor at Anmer Hall. You can bet your bottom dollar they will be doing proper presents for each other and the kids there on Christmas Day.”

The Waleses will skip Christmas lunch too: The Waleses have often not attended Christmas Day lunch at the “big house” at Sandringham, preferring the informality of a relaxed lunch at Anmer Hall, and they are unlikely to attend this year, especially if Queen Camilla again invites her son Tom Parker Bowles. William doesn’t much like Camilla, despite having made peace with his father’s choices, and is made nervous by Tom’s somewhat louche lifestyle, sources have previously told the Daily Beast.

A Christmas coup: The friend said that William was “enthusiastic about embracing Kate‘s much more normal conception of Christmas,” adding, “It’s always been a slightly covert, rival Christmas party at their house, but it’s going to be much more obvious this year. If they post pictures, it’ll be an official coup attempt.”

The “normal & boring” brand: A communications executive who previously worked with Kate and William told The Daily Beast: “William and Kate have made an incredibly successful brand out of being normal and boring, but the crazy royal customs at Christmas threaten all that. It’s particularly damaging to their reputation because Christmas is the one time that everybody in the whole country actually pays attention to the royals, and it risks getting overshadowed by stories about these strange, elitist, aristocratic habits. It’s not surprising they want to change the narrative as they prepare to take the throne themselves.”

[From The Daily Beast]

The mention of William’s dislike of Tom Parker Bowles is interesting, because I suspect that at the “big house” at Sandringham, it will be another huge showing for the Parker Bowles clan. Camilla will once again invite her kids and grandkids and maybe even her ex-husband. Meanwhile, she’s ensuring that there’s a Christmas wedge between Charles and the only son he speaks to regularly. Camilla is fine with the arrangement of Will and Kate going off to Anmer to have their private, middle-class Christmas. Charles is fine with it as well. And if Will and Kate really do post videos from inside Anmer of their Christmas celebration… lmao. I mean, it won’t be a “coup,” but it will be desperate and funny. But I’m with Kate on “presents should be opened on Christmas morning.”

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images, Kensington Palace.