Kensington Palace went on a briefing spree over the weekend, which means that the British print media is full of stories about Prince William and Prince Harry’s relationship, all ahead of the release of the last three episodes of Netflix’s Harry & Meghan on Thursday. There’s definitely an aspect of “hit dogs holler” about William crying and raging before we even get to the meat of “how things fell apart.” If you ask me, William is not only telling us explicitly who was behind much of briefing against the Sussexes (and we already know that), but he’s selfishly hogging the narrative when it’s clear that his poor Wiglet is going to need a PR boost when all is said and done.

Anyway, one of the most psychotic KP-approved pieces was the Telegraph’s “BROTHERS at ARMS: How the Windsor boys went to war with each other” by Hannah Furness. The Windsor “boys” are 40 years old and 38 years old. Stop infantilizing both of them. While much of the piece is just “they used to be so close BEFORE MEGHAN,” the real star of the psychotic show is the archival photos which were edited to look “burned.” As in, William’s literal incandescent rage has singed old photos of his brother. You can see the images here. Some highlights from the story:

Rival royal courts. Before Megxit, before Meghan, plans were already in place to one day go their separate ways. All they needed was a catalyst.

The shared KP office: The idea that the Cambridges and Prince Harry could work together indefinitely, one insider said, gradually seemed “misguided”. “It puts too much pressure on their relationship,” they said. “It’s not healthy.”

When Harry met Meghan: William is said to have raised concerns about how quickly the relationship was moving, the degree of his bluntness depending on who is telling the story. “Harry was tired of the dynamic that had become established between him and his older brother,” they say. If William had once been a father figure, Harry now had someone else he listened to. “A lot of this predates Meghan,” says a source. “But it’s fair to say her arrival changed things.”

The imperfect system: The Cambridges, relatively content with the imperfect system they had settled on to balance their family’s public and private roles, watched as Harry and Meghan tried to reset their own rules around royal births and christenings, to increasing public ill-feeling. The crunch point, say those familiar with negotiations, was professional. The Sussexes wanted to tread their own path with commercial work, while the Cambridges could not. “One wanted to flex, the other couldn’t flex,” says a source.

Meghan is the star: If William and Kate, who had their own rock star stage years earlier, were allergic to celebrity, only speaking at public engagements if absolutely necessary, the sight of Meghan so embracing the spotlight was alien. “They [the Sussexes] want to be the stars,” it was said at the time.

Separating households: “There was a divorce going on but the terms hadn’t been worked through,” says a source, wryly. “A lot of the talk behind the scenes was ‘we need to bring these brothers back together, they’re always better together’. They were still talking, but it was tense.”

No reunions: At a Commonwealth Day Service, the Sussexes’ final royal engagement, the two couples could barely swap a friendly word. By the time the details of the Oprah interview were aired, from the anonymous royal racist to “she made me cry”, any pretence of reunion had been blown out of the water.

William won’t be negative about Harry?? Prince William is said not to be watching the Netflix documentary. Despite “anger and sadness” about it all, friends claim he still won’t tolerate a negative word from others about his brother. But no-one really believes a reconciliation is close. “Everyone thought they needed to get back together,” says a long-standing ally. “Now I don’t think there’s anyone who really believes that’s possible. Working together will never happen. “But can they be brothers again? You’ve got to hope. How much longer can this all go on?”

[From The Telegraph]

Ah, to be a royal reporter and try to pretend that William and Harry’s estrangement is simply a case of Harry wanting to be more commercial. There’s this fundamental belief within the British media and the royal family that Harry and Meghan’s words can’t be taken at face value, that their words need to be filtered through William’s perspective or the courtiers’ narratives. Harry has said repeatedly why they left: to protect his wife and children and to protect his own mental health. Harry and Meghan are going to get much, much more specific about why they left in the final three episodes of the Netflix series, so why is William sticking with this bullsh-t? Who is even buying it?

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid.