Do you guys remember when Prince William won the “sexiest bald man” survey? It happened in 2021 AND 2023. Two separate “surveys” rigged to declare an incandescent dumbass the sexiest bald man. In the same world where Jason Statham, LL Cool J, Stanley Tucci and Boris Kodjoe exist. I don’t think so. Well, there’s another survey, this one for the “sexiest man in the UK.” The poll was conducted by IllicitEncounters, a dating site for married cheaters in the UK. Well, you would think this would be William’s wheelhouse, right?? He only made it to #3. Two places down from the #1 sexiest British man, Jeremy Clarkson. GROSS.

Jeremy Clarkson has secured the title of the UK’s sexiest man for the second consecutive year. The 64-year-old presenter surpassed notable contenders such as Prince William, Idris Elba, and Cillian Murphy in the annual poll conducted by IllicitEncounters, that brands itself “the best online dating site for married people”. The Clarkson’s Farm star achieved an impressive score of nine out of 10 points in the survey.

Meanwhile, Spider-Man actor Tom Holland secured the second spot in the UK’s sexiest man list, which coincides with his return to the West End. The 27-year-old Hollywood star, who is in a relationship with actress Zendaya, earned an impressive eight points in the poll while Prince William completed the top three.

The annual Sexiest Man poll from the married dating site is voted by 2,000 of its female members.

Other notable entries include England manager Gareth Southgate who secured fourth place, while I’m A Celebrity winner Sam Thompson, 31, claimed eighth place and Russ Cook, 27, known as “the Hardest Geezer”, landed in ninth. Irish actor Cillian Murphy, 47, secured fifth place, joining regulars Idris Elba and Dermot O’Leary in the top 10.

[From The Evening Standard]

Like… even if they’re not my taste, how are British guys like Robert Pattinson, Dev Patel, Henry Cavill, David Beckham, Regé-Jean Page, Tom Hardy, Daniel Craig, Nicholas Hoult… not top ten? Jeremy Clarkson at #1?? HUEVO AT #3?? It’s insanity. The one good thing about it is that everyone on the internet was clowning on William’s lack of sexiness. That man has the sexual charisma of a puddle of warm vomit. (Also: Cillian Murphy isn’t British.)

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.