Trooping the Colour, the monarch’s official birthday parade, will go down on Saturday. It will be King Charles’s second Trooping as king. If you ask me, his first Trooping was rather threadbare and sad too, especially since his heir decided to steal the king’s thunder by giving an interview about being the savior of homelessness. Prince William also released a new Father’s Day portrait with his children. I wonder if that will happen this weekend too, if we’ll get a “new” photo of William and the kids. If we do, that will overshadow Trooping this year as well. As the Daily Beast’s Royalist column points out, this year’s Trooping will be the most threadbare balcony in memory, all because Charles is a jealous, petty man and a dogsh-t father.

Monarchy in decline: When the king steps out onto the balcony of Buckingham Palace to receive the cheers of the gathered plebs, the moment risks being instead an all too graphic illustration of the parlous and threadbare state into which the monarchy has declined on his watch.

QEII’s Trooping balconies were heaving with family members: In the days of Queen Elizabeth II, the balcony groaned with family members; literally dozens of distant aunts, eccentric uncles, dotty cousins and rosy-cheeked nephews and nieces received the call-up to wave for queen and country. Officially they were being thanked for supporting Her Majesty. Some of the support they offered was decidedly tangential, but Queen Elizabeth thought the bursting balcony telegraphed the all-important messages of fecundity and unity honed by her heroine, Queen Victoria, the de facto inventor of the modern monarchy.

It’s different during KC3’s reign: Buckingham Palace declined to tell The Daily Beast who will or will not be by the king’s side, but we already know of several omissions which will be notable. There will, of course, be no Prince Harry, no Meghan Markle, no Archie and no Lilibet. That the Sussexes have been ruthlessly cut out of the royal family since their decision to give up their official roles is no secret.

King Charles doesn’t even want the Sussexes back under any circumstances: However, a royal source told The Daily Beast: “Charles loves both his sons and of course he would like, in an ideal world, to have a relationship with his grandchildren. The reality is, however, that he can’t, because the last thing anyone wants is Harry and Meghan back in the U.K. on a regular basis. Their presence always distracts from the work of the monarchy. As king, Charles has to put the crown first. That’s what duty means.”

Princess Kate’s absence: There have been rumors that Princess Kate will appear, but these have been dismissed as unsubstantiated speculation by Palace sources to The Daily Beast. One source told The Daily Beast it would be “bizarre” for Kate to appear on the balcony having cancelled her own appearance with her regiment, the Irish Guards. Remarks made in a letter by Kate last weekend that she hoped to be back representing the regiment again “very soon” have, however, caused confusion by appearing to explicitly open up the possibility she could be back on duty, well, “very soon,” whatever that means. (Kate’s office declined to clarify to The Daily Beast what she meant by the comment.)

Emasculated king: So, the public face the royal family will present to the public this weekend looks like being as follows: a cancer-stricken king, 75, who will have been brought to the ceremony, emasculatingly, by coach instead of on rippling horseflesh. He will be accompanied by his wife, Queen Camilla, who still, for many (including his son Harry) is a long way from being loved. Then there is the relentlessly uncharismatic Prince Edward, who should hope that some glamor bounces onto him from his lovely wife, Sophie. Also expect Princess Anne and her husband, the almost incognito Sir Tim Laurence. With Kate also absent, being treated for cancer, Prince William (and perhaps Louis, if he pulls a funny face) will be one of the only people, other than the king, that much of the global audience will recognize.

Starvation rations: King Charles famously said he wanted to slim down the royal family. Perhaps he would have been more careful what he wished for had he known that by 2024 the family was going to end up looking like it was on starvation rations.

[From The Daily Beast]

I wonder what happened to that speculation that the now-widowed Lady Gabriella Windsor had been invited onto the balcony? That was less about supporting Gabriella and more about Charles wanting an attractive blonde on the balcony. That speculation sort of went away, so I guess it’s not happening. As for “starvation rations” and “parlous and threadbare state” – it’s true and it’s funny. While the British media and royal historians balk at the threadbare state of the monarchy on display, this is actually what Charles wants. He wants all of the attention, he wants Camilla to have center stage, he doesn’t want anyone pulling focus. Also: the quote about Charles’s thoughts on the Sussexes is how he really feels. Charles’s allies throw out speculation that he wants to spend time with the Sussexes or he wants to be a doting grandfather, but the reality is that he’s done everything he can to block Harry, Meghan and the children from his life and from the UK.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.